“ Before you begin, remember this: do not wish for him to react in any way. He will not grant you peace, finality, or closure. You can’t find that in him, you will have to find that in yourself. Maybe not tonight and that’s okay, just get through the next five minutes.” This is such good advice for others trying to leave a bad relationship. I’m sorry your coping mechanisms (drugs, drinking, gambling, rebound sex) were not as healthy as this perspective, but thank you for sharing. I hope it helps people, and I hope you, too, can heal.