Did someone say coffee?

And other things I’m starting to miss

So I’m really starting to miss coffee.

I’m blaming the season, because even though I like my coffee black and simple, I’m always drawn to indulging in a pumpkin spice latte at least once each fall and then savoring cinnamon, Christmas-y goodness over the holidays. And then the cold just wins me over, too.

I don’ think I’m going to make it.

I was never hell-bent on cutting caffeine from my diet when I got pregnant, and I’m not super anal about what I can and cannot consume, it just sort of happened. Because I only drank coffee on the weekends anyways, I really thought I would continue to have one cup a week, and that would suffice for me. But I guess I felt guilty? So I just didn’t, and then I tried doing decaf a couple times, but that just felt silly. It’s not the same, so stop trying to fool me.

Maybe I’m just starting to miss the old things, like coffee, wine, baloney sandwiches, bikram yoga, my abs. Yeah, that’s it. Even as I say it, I really, really miss them! I actually hadn’t felt any longing before now, but I spent a weekend with my college girlfriends, and it was more than once I thought to myself, “I can’t wait to have wine with them again.” And then I realized I wouldn’t be having any wine by my Christmas tree this year or hot wine at my holiday party, and I really missed it.

I’ve been so consumed with my pregnancy and enjoying it so much, that I guess I didn’t realize how much my life has changed. But when I realize how delicate I am with my diet, workouts and health, I feel proud, but I also have begun to realize how centric my life used to be on me. Before Jake came along, I had such an independent lifestyle, me and my little yellow house. And then when we got married, we easily fell into a lovely routine together, running for miles every night after work, him by my side. And even though we still have our routines at night- working out, cooking dinner, catching up on movies or our favorite shows, things have already changed. He’ll still run with me sometimes, just to be kind, but he’s like an animal that could go for miles-and fast- and I just trot along to enjoy myself now, focusing on 30 to 45 minutes worth of jogging, not the miles.

I guess I missing running long-distance with him, too.

But then I think about how much I enjoy prenatal workouts, feeling so much peace and energy and connection with my baby. And I think about how fun it is to create a new wardrobe for my bump or build the perfect nursery. And then I think about how much more I eat these days, and I really feel happy. I love being pregnant.

Life is changing, but I’m allowing myself to miss certain things and not feel bad about it. I know an even happier, more indulgent life is in front of me, and even though I’ll definitely be going back to my sweet coffee soon enough, my true indulgence will turn into extra snuggles with my sleeping babe, a quiet morning in the nursery and hearing those first giggles. There ain’t enough coffee or yoga dates in the world to trump that.

Here are some pictures from a cold but perfect weekend with my amazing girlfriends. Sometimes, it’s nice to remember that life is really, really good.