A Long Philosophical Rant About Nihilism

Angela Walter
Jul 20, 2017 · 4 min read

(That doesn’t really matter)

I posted a rather cynical status last week about nihilism and the fact that nothing really matters (in regard to me binge watching too much Rick and Morty). Well, it’s a fact I have realized and accepted for many years, but I find that depending on the circumstances of my current life — or, more accurately, the attitude I have toward them — I either take it with great relief or great sorrow.

For the past while, I have been taking it with more of the latter (hence the rather negative tone of my status). I’ve been focusing on all the negative in my life and multiplying it in my head, creating this general mindset of apathy and disdain for this existence. I found myself asking why. Why do I feel deflated, demotivated, apathetic? Why am I okay with letting myself feel like that?

Last Thursday I walked up to Seoul Tower to overlook the city (which helped remind me of how small we all are and further emphasized the whole nothing matters mindset), before going out with a few friends and making some arguably poor judged decisions that made PT Friday morning a little difficult.

However: it was one of the happiest mornings I’ve had in a long time.

After having a fun, relaxed and genuine night with these friends I realized a few things.

  1. I have been holding on to so much negative energy revolving around my current life circumstances. And I realized that this is what matters when you decide nothing matters: if you are going to hold on to that mindset (which I do), and if you’re going to take the positive things in life and dwell on the nihilistic fact that they don’t matter, then you have to do the same thing with the negative things, too. If you’re going to say nothing matters, then believe nothing matters (cause nothing does matter!) and stop wasting so much mental energy and angst on this ultimately meaningless negativity!
  2. There is a fine line between cynical and beautiful. The divide between nihilism comes in depending on where and how you see it, and where and how you use it. It’s cynical when you take all the good things in life and beat them down with their ultimate lack of significance, which in turn only makes you beat yourself down. It’s beautiful when you let the fact that nothing matters drive you to make this life as joyful, exciting, and wonderful as possible.
  3. Being that nothing matters and we are each teeny tiny creatures of the utmost unimportance, it is important that we make our own meaning out of life. That might sound very contradictory, but that’s really where the fun comes in: if there is no real meaning in life, then we can make life be about whatever the hell we want! We give our own meaning to our own lives, no matter what that means. And it doesn’t matter what it means, because there is no matter of meaning in this context (I don’t think that made any sense but if you’re picking up what I’m putting down, good on ya.)
  4. The one and only thing we have an obligation to do in this life is let ourselves be happy. It is so easy to walk around with the deadweight of negativity on our shoulders, a perpetual frown on our lips and scowl in our brow that defines our attitudes and emotions toward our life circumstances. News flash: the sh*t you go through doesn’t matter! And sure, that means the good you go through doesn’t matter either, but if you had the choice, which would you rather deal with on a more regular basis? Set down the deadweight. Smile. Take life as it comes, because it is truly so simple, so completely simple, and yet we run around making a giant mess out of everything in our great rush to find meaning in futility (‘Meaning in Futility’ band name called it).
  5. If truly nothing matters, then we have the chance in this life to do whatever the hell we want and be whoever the hell we want to be. That’s f*cking awesome. This life is about going balls to the wall and experiencing it for what it is and what you make of it; take risks, challenge yourself, push the envelope, break rules, discover new things, learn about the world and the people in it, chase your dreams, thrive in failure, find peace in success, be happy.

I like to believe that when we die, our life flashes before our eyes. Heaven is a feeling — not a place — of pure joy for what you see in this moment. Hell, like Heaven, is a feeling of regret, disdain, and disappointment for the life you let yourself live.

When you die, what will you see?

What will you regret not doing for fear of not succeeding?

Will you have wallowed, or will you have lived?

Life is just a dream. Don’t turn it into a nightmare.

)

Angela Walter

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