Coming to terms with 2015 — lessons continue
It’s been 12 months since I was in Thailand with a bunch of amazing, like minded people. Even though I was surrounded by 100 people, I look back and remember feeling so alone. I cried for 5 of the 7 days. I had experienced a breakthrough like no other but it didn’t seem positive at the time. I will be forever grateful for a couple of close friends who talked me through that breakthrough. It completely changed my life.
What was the breakthrough? It may seem crazy or basic to you but for me, it was huge. I. Have. A. Choice. My life is as it is today because of the choices I’ve made…even if that choice means I haven’t made a choice.
Wow…that was massive for me. I choose to hate my body. I choose to spend time with people who don’t make me feel good about myself. I choose to be happy. I choose to be unhappy. As basic as that sounds, I have lived my whole life believing I didn’t have a choice…I was stuck because I was obligated to look after people, entertain people, do what people say, be the ‘good girl’. Whatever it was…I was making choices based on obligation. I would say “yes” to everything. I would burn myself at both ends because I didn’t want to disappoint. I would spend hours coming up with reasons why I was right about something when there was conflict…it was emotionally exhausted.
2015 has been a completely different story.
As I ponder on the last 12 months, I can honestly say I’ve never been happier. I’ve done things to serve that happiness. I haven’t been frightened of confrontation. I have read more books, both fiction and non-fiction, I have taken ‘time out’ when I’ve needed it. I’ve spoken to people who build me up and said ‘no’ to people who don’t. I have travelled extensively. I have made more money and spent more money than any year before. I have honoured my body (because, let’s face, I’ve CHOSEN to hate my body in the past). I have made definitive choices to serve me. I have stopped putting people on pedestals. I have worked on not judging people or their decisions.
I have loved myself. I have been happy. I have made choices.
Now, it’s not perfect. I continue to learn and continue to grow but things are much better. My husband always acknowledges how I’m so ‘calm’ in times he considers crises’. I truly believe God is there, watching and conspiring to make things happen for me. God doesn’t send me challenges I cannot handle. I stay calm because I focus on production, not problems.
As I look at 2015, it’s truly been the best year ever. The fastest business growth, the fastest personal growth, the fastest growth in my relationship.
I look forward to 2016. For me, I feel ready to step well and truly out of my comfort zone. I want to give back. I want to build a bottle school in Guatamala because I know the power of education, I want to spend time with orphans, I want to spend time in The Phillipines, Vietnam, Cambodia, Colombia…places I would never travel to in the past….I have so much to be grateful for and I truly believe it’s time for me to give back in some way, shape or form…and I know that which is right for me, will show it’s face.
I honestly can say 2015 has been the best year ever for me. There has been a lot of learning and a lot of work but I will always be grateful to Thailand 2014 because I know my mind wouldn’t have been open to the learnings this year if it wasn’t for that trip. Interestingly, when I have found business to be tough this year, rather than run to a ‘business book’, I read a book like “Conversations with God”, “The Power of Now”, “What I know for sure”, “Choose Yourself” or “A Man’s Search for Meaning”…because now I realise, when I am aligned, business just works….
So my question is, what do you do to realign yourself? I hope this inspires to you make a positive change in 2016 if you need it. Remember, you always have a choice….ALWAYS.