This is my Scholarship Story

A story about giving your best in life. And to get up after falling down.

On February 2023, I went to University of Newcastle, Australia for a 1 semester student exchange after receiving a scholarship from my university. The scholarship worth AUD 8,800 and was enough to sustain my living. Coming from Indonesia, the international experience had been one of my happiest memories.

Before I start, I’ll give some heads up: my story is different to most scholarship stories.

I was not planning for student exchange.

I was not planning on applying for scholarship.

In fact, I was clueless about scholarships.

This is a story of a girl who simply tried her best in life, in everything that she did. At one point, she messed up everything. She fell to one of her lowest points in life. However, it was during that time, the universe gave her an opportunity to get up. A scholarship. An opportunity that changed her life.

My Lowest Point

I took my undergraduate study in Binus International University, focusing on Finance. During my university life, I gave my best in study. Not because I am that ambitious kind of kid, but I wasted high school playing too much. My parents were slightly disappointed. (I pass quite okay, just not enough compared to the Asian standard) To compensate the guilt, I promised myself to study hard in university.

I studied hard and managed to perform well for the first 2 years. Along the way, I participated in several campus activities and joined an organisation. I wanted to improve my skills, primarily leadership. In the future, I would need to deal with different people and had to learn from now.

However, at the end of my fourth semester, I was extremely burned out. I took a leadership position in an orientation event and was part of an executive in an organisation. Family wise, I did some work to help my parents’ business and assisted my mom in a volunteer work. I became my little brother’s “counselor”, to help him overcome his social issues, by providing 1–2 hour session each night to listen to him. Furthermore, I still put a lot of effort in my studies.

Worse, in each of these things I did, I was faced with conflicts. I had to deal with:

• Team members who was irresponsible
• Executives who had different values from me
• Negative energy from my family
• Increasing stress from university (it’s getting more difficult)

The stress got into me, transformed into anger, and I exploded. I was mad to my team members and the executives, which eventually ruined more than 10 friendships (and not willing to count further). Made lots of mistakes that I regretted and not sure how to fix. The good part, my relationships with family is doing fine.

After releasing all the anger, I started to get my sense back.

But it was late.

I finished my roles, left the organisation yet the mistakes were there.

I can’t fix anything.

Each day I woke up after since, I felt lifeless.

• What should I do?
• What do I want to achieve really?
• Why did I mess up so badly?

I question if I ever had the power to control my future, after messing up with everything. No one had ever asked what I want. And I don’t know what I wanted to do. In the things that I chose, I messed up.

So I thought, “Maybe it’s better to follow my parents’ plan for me. Graduate, work somewhere, then continue their business.”

It was the beginning of my mental breakdown and the fifth semester of uni.

The Scholarship Offer

September 2022

I woke up like a zombie each morning then proceed to study in campus unenthusiastically. As I wonder lifelessly through campus classes, I received an email:

“You are nominated for a student exchange scholarship.”

Scam.

That’s my first thought. Like hey, you can’t blame me, none of my seniors had received a student exchange scholarship before. It was uncommon here.

Several days after, my lecturer spoke to me, “ Did you receive the email? The scholarship one. Make sure to apply, I’ll be waiting.”

Then she left (literally before I could reply)

I was stunned. It was real?

Afterwards, I opened the email and read carefully. The university offered an AUD 8,800 to cover up my living expenses and free tuition fee for 1 semester (the tuition itself cost AUD 10,000 so it was a really good offer)

I asked my parents if it is okay for me to apply. Previously, they had told me several times to stay in Indonesia for undergraduate. To my surprise, they encouraged me to apply.

Slowly, I regained the energy to do things. I did not recover quickly, afraid that the world was going to play tricks on me. However, if I can be honest to myself:

For the first time in life, I really want something. The scholarship.

I tried to construct my CV and motivation letter seriously. Then, I slowly realised that everything I’ve done was essential:

• Had the highest GPA among all nominees (GPA: 3.83 / 4.00)
• Worked as a Teaching Assistant 3x
• Took crucial roles in campus as orientation leader
• Created and contributed during my serve in the organisation
• Won several in-campus competitions
• Took a volunteer role which became one of my greatest advantage

All these experiences made me to be well-known in campus among lecturers and university staff. Most of them encouraged me that I would secure the position, that I had the highest chance to grab the scholarship.

Long story short, in October 2022, I received the scholarship.

If I could describe the experience, it felt like everything that I had done form a SYNERGY.

Every. single. part. of. it.

All of the things I had done played its role to create a beautiful harmony to help me achieve the scholarship.

It was one of the most unbelievable and magical moments. I cried. I didn’t expect to get an opportunity to start again in life. I had fallen, and the universe helped me to get up.

The universe has taught me a secret:

“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times” — Paolo Coelho, The Alchemist

Following the announcement, I prepared for my visa and took my leave in February 2023.

Lessons Learned

The #1 important point I want to share is:

“In everything you do, give your very best”

It is by giving your best, you can challenge yourself to grow. To acquire new skills, to know your limits and break through it.

It is by giving your best, you show people that you are serious. People would acknowledge it, they can feel your energy.

It is by giving your best, you can increase your probability in grasping an opportunity. We never know when an opportunity comes. Yet we have to prepare at all time. Here’s a quote from Great by Choice:

You prepare with intensity, all the time, so that when conditions turn against you, you can draw from a deep reservoir of strength. And equally, you prepare so that when conditions turn in your favour, you can strike hard ~ Collins and Hansen, Great by Choice

The #2 point I want to share:

You might fall in life, get up. You might make mistakes, some small, some big; some easily forgiven, some not; I’ll tell you it’s not the end.

Take the time to reflect on your mistakes. For me, the best regret is to learn from all mistakes and not to repeat it again.

Remember that despite the sadness, or terrible feeling, life must go on. Life will never stop. Have the courage to first stand up, to start walking again one step at a time.

It is by proceeding with life, you will get new opportunities. Through these opportunities, you will have the chance to prove that you won’t repeat the mistakes. That you have learned the most from it.

Learn to forgive yourself. Regardless of those mistakes, you deserve to start over and be happy in life.

***

I hope this story can be an encouragement to those who experienced a similar experience like me. To us, who had tried their best yet messed up things at a certain point.

I hope this story can encourage those who has fallen in life to get up again. Failure, mistakes, those are not the end. It is the end if you choose to do nothing. Get up! Learn to forgive yourself then start again.

That’s my story, I hope you enjoy reading it!