Well last night i had Kyle over so I had fun last night tell nick and mom got home because nick brought Etana home with him and I hate her so god damn much were just being by her i wanna strangle her. But he thinks I hate her Because of Caleb but its not that. caleb has this one thing that he’d die for and its a prize he thinks and its me I know that he’s told me that so many times. But im not willing to get hurt because of him but I cant hide the feelings I still have for him I wanna be in his arms everynight and day but Im scared of getting hurt again because I cant handle it. But Caleb will never understand leaving him and don’t say I love you is like a itch that i itch but its always there. But I also don’t like hiurting people at all. That’s my problem too it’s just so hard. But I’v learent to deal with it because I have nothing better to do but is sit there. Im just tired of life it’s just getting to hard for me I wish I could just run away.