Letter To Fathers: Pursue Your Sons Heart
What an amazing blessing, honor and privilege it is to be called a father!
You are now in charge and responsible to care, mold, teach and uplift a soon to be man into society!
THE RACE IS ON! The race for the HEART OF YOUR SON…
The race to teach him how to be a man of integrity, good character, how to love and to pursue personal, academic, and social excellence in life!
Every young man has the making of a knight yet our post modern culture, its belief and peer pressure have something far different awaiting them. Pop culture and media is ready and willing to shape, mold and nurture their values and character in a heartbeat if we don’t STEP UP!
We have to take this race serious and we have to fight back! Not just with words but with actions!
However, and it’s sad to say: Fathers are losing the race and ultimately the battle! More than ever fathers are hardly seen in bed time stories. We’re portrayed as losers in sitcoms. The typical typecast is always a lover of home depot, lazy, unmotivated, disconnected, 9–5 worker who has no time for any B.S. or emotional baggage.
Does this ring a bell? Can you perhaps relate?
There are more fathers absent from the home than any other time in history.
Because of this our young men are finding role models via T.V, the internet, street corners and playgrounds rather than in their FATHERS at home.
* 87% of all incarcerated men either had no father or hate their father
* 90% of all homeless youth and runaways are from fatherless homes
* 71% of all high school drop outs come from fatherless homes
* 65% of fathers spend less than 2 hrs of quality time a week with their sons
Just think about these staggering percentages. How many of us were actually raised by an active and loving Dad?
If you were one of the seemingly few kids raised by 2 full time active and loving parents consider yourself blessed. Your experience is fading away dramatically for the next generation. It is no longer the norm!
Back in the 50's and 60's if your mom and dad were divorced it was considered weird. Nowadays if your mom and dad are still together it’s considered weird and unrealistic.
How the times have changed. Where did we lose sight and control of our amazing generation of men who have next?
I’m a relatively new father. My son turns 6 next month and my daughter turns 2 in a few days and wow, do they have something new for me everyday. While I haven’t been through the D-DAY years ( Teenage Years )I can say based on my experience and observation “Everything Starts Now”.
I also have first hand experience and know what I missed in a father growing up.
SIDE NOTE: Mom you did an outstanding job! I Love you for that!
And for all the single moms out there.
You’re all amazing. And while you may feel you’re not dong anything special I just want to say: You deserve a Gold medal and more for your dedication, love and sacrifice in raising your son/s! You never cease to amaze how seemingly easy you make raising young men look.
AS A FATHER… One of my goals in life is to encourage men to fight the good fight and stick around through not only the good but the bad times. To push through the issues of life and hold your family together!
We need to step up and stop stepping out!
We need to show love and compassion to our sons!
We need to spend quality time with our sons!
We need to lead by example!
Fathers love your wife and show affection in his presence
Give him hugs and kisses on a daily basis
Listen, sacrifice and forgive continually
Our sons were created to be adventurous, creative, super active, and fearless. While these are just a few awesome attributes we also have to consider the flip side. Young men must also see compassion, love, protection and emotions from their fathers. (Vital characteristics in raising daughters as I’m coming to realize… But that’s going to be another blog).
I believe both roles (Mom and Dad) are vitally important and without both present and nurtured in our sons daily life; deficiency and lack will be produced.
Without proper guidance, love and supervision the attributes above have the potential to lead our sons into destructive behaviors and ultimately down avoidable consequences and experiences.
If you have a son and are experiencing a hard time showing affection, spending quality time, and or bonding with him I implore you to seek some assistance to turn the tables.
Take them away from the TV — Interrupt their PlayStation or Xbox addiction. Do whatever it takes to show your son he’s important to you
( Putting our sons in front of a TV or Game Box is not quality time — Its called lazy fathering )
Some Suggestions for Father / Son activities:
Join a father/son fellowship at your local church.
Get involved in a community sporting event with your son
Plan a camping or weekend fishing trip w/ your son
Take a walk in the park
Play catch or soccer together
Plan a picnic at the beach
Climb a mountain together
Go look for worms and bugs
Take a trip to the local zoo
THE POINT: Be creative — There is so much to do and the little acts of love and attention goes far greater than the actual activity!
It’ll require a lot of sacrifice and commitment especially if the very thing your trying to do was never shown to you. But it’s interesting: The things we need to work on are usually the things we wish we had growing up.
So lets work on being as passionate with our son as we are with our career, businesses, hobbies and favorite sports team.
Again, It may be a little tough at first but TRUST ME! It’ll be worth it!
To the fathers that are actively pursuing your sons heart keep it going! While we don’t deserve a medal for doing what we’re supposed to do it is rare and you’re one of the few! Stay the course, honor your commitment and always protect your family with love and support for the journey ahead!
Take a bit of time to encourage a father that may be hitting hard times! We all need someone to lean on from time to time. Iron sharpens iron is what I like to call it.
This blog is Part 1 of “Pursuit of your sons heart”.
My upcoming blogs will hopefully fill in the gaps and assist those of us that need a bit of assistance and guidance in raising sons to be KNIGHTS!
Thanks for reading this article and lets MAN UP corporately and RAISE KNIGHTS who will one day become SAGES who honor their commitments and love their families to the END OF TIME!
Angel L. Rivera
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