Possible, impossible and choices

I wanted to be a doctor when I was a teen. My dream was going to the United States and become a doctor. That´s the reason I decided to learn English. But soon I realized such a task was impossible.

I am the third of four boys. My father was a bus driver and my mother stayed home. Becoming a doctor in my own country was/is a tough challenge — how could I go abroad to study? So, at fifteen I had such a serious sore throat that I was in bed for two weeks. When in the hospital, I saw a men bleeding because of an accident. I said to my mother: “I don´t want to be a doctor anymore. I can´t deal with blood.”

Looking back, I think I was sincerely lying. Maybe it was an unconscious lie. That was a kind of justification to me. As I knew I could not be a doctor, I used what I had to excuse me from that inability or impossibility. As it was a hard decision to accept, I had to create a way to hide it to from me: the blood. We use that tactic all the time.

Thar doesn´t mean the impossible is not real. All of us have limitations: in ourselves, in the environment we live and in our relationships. And we can have a huge or a short list of dreams. But, unfortunately, some of them will never be accomplished. We must be wise to discover that and to accept that.

I know some of you may not think like that. Impossible is not real — you may say. And I have to tell you: impossible is real because we always have to choose among possibilities. And by choosing, we build some impossibility in order to make some dreams possible. When you choose having a family and children, some dreams become impossible because you have chosen bringing to reality the dream of having a family.

Possibility is built upon choices that are made based upon limitations. Psychologists call them contingencies. But possibilities have a byproduct: the impossibility. Every time we turn something possible we are choosing to make other things impossible.

I may have learnt that lesson years ago. But now, being almost 40, it seems more obvious to me that when I choose a dream, probably I am throwing others into impossibility. After four decades, the dreams in the wastebasket that may never be recycled remember me I have to be wiser from now on — time is becoming shorter and resources are becoming scarce.