How a two hour conversation with a homeless guy changed my perspective
It’s already approaching mid December so I thought that nothing major would happen in my life before the new year. I was on my way home from Waterfront when I got a message from my friend saying there’s someone I should talk to.
“Meet outside Vancouver city centre, you’ll see a tent”.
When I got out of Vancouver pacific centre, there was a tent made out of a carp. In front of the carp were cartoons and art that a guy in the tent was making. His tools were paper, ink, and a candle to dry his art and to keep himself warm. He also had signs on the carp that said “Advice : 5 dollars”
That is how I met Daryl, and had one of the most intense 2 hour conversations in my entire life.
His story
Daryl is a comedian but he also makes cartoons and cards to make a living in Downtown. Everyday he makes about 20 to 25 drawings and sells them.
He started off as a successful business man but later found himself having multiple surgeries on his ankles because of a congenital disorder at age 26. He couldn’t move for three years while recovering. This life or death experience pushed him to a state of nervous breakdown.
He was about to commit suicide when he remembered that he still had not pursued his childhood dream of being a comedian. He promised himself that if he were to die, he was going to die being a comedian.
He told me that he used to live in Downtown. But only after he became homeless due to a forest fire did he really know what Downtown Vancouver was like. After doing some research, I found that almost 80 percent of the homeless said they last paid rent in Vancouver before becoming homeless.
One of the most memorable things he said was that once you become homeless, people don’t treat you the same way.
You could be asking for the time for 2 to 3 hours in the most respectful way and no one would bother to tell you the time that is on their screens because they don’t want to engage with you.
Recently he’s been saving up money to go to the states because it’s much easier for a comedian to find shows there. But he told me that everything changes when you don’t have a postal code. The payment is a lot higher for people without an address to get an approved passport, let alone talk about healthcare. He has to pay a lot more for his asthma medication ($1000 dollars).
Hearing about the immense struggles on the streets, I asked him whether he would consider renting a place with the money he’s saved up. He told me that they have enough money to rent a place in his old Yaletown apartment. However, being without a postal code has a negative impact on your application. When there are many people who are applying for an apartment, as is the case most of the time in Vancouver, being homeless means that it’s extremely difficult to find a place that would accept you.
When he was telling his story at several points of the night, he started tearing up as he was talking.
He told me that they get food all the time from strangers. He’s been having food poisoning for the past two weeks from the food they’ve been given. To recover, he has to buy food from places that he knows.
This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’ve never seen so many terrible things than I have in the past two years.
After hearing about his story, I realized that he has been through a lot of life struggles that most people have not gone through. His period of depression, and 3 years of not being able to move after his surgery. Despite all these things, he says that being homeless has been the hardest thing.
He told me about so much more than I can write about and my heart was breaking taking all of it in.
Her Story
What if I told you you had to worry about having your violin stolen in the middle of the night? Or people setting your hair on fire while you’re sleeping? Or worry about losing everything you worked to save up because you couldn’t clean up all your things within five minutes?
Kirsten is Daryl’s wife. She plays the violin on the streets to make money. Classically trained and plays by ear, she’s been playing the violin for 18 years. She’s half indigenous and had a terrible childhood going from foster home to foster home.
He told me about how her violin was stolen two times in the past two years they’ve become homeless.
The first time it was stolen, someone brought it back to them after 6 months from a flea market but it was beaten up very badly. Luckily, Tom Lee offered to repair it for them.
The violin she had was an old Maggini violin, and was quite valuable. She’s had it since it was 5 and it’s been her source of livelihood.
Just a few weeks ago, the violin has been stolen again while they were sleeping. The first time the violin was taken while they had it under their heads while sleeping and the second time, the violin was between the two of their sleeping bags. Kirsten holds up a sign everyday and is still looking for her violin right now.
My friend offered him a room in his house for them to stay in.
He was touched, but after a few seconds, Daryl refused. With tears in his eyes, he said that 16 months ago he would have taken it. But after what he’s seen here, he has to stay to help the people who are struggling.
“I just… can’t. There’s so many others out here who need it more than me”
I asked Daryl about what his next plans are. He’s said he’s staying so he can help build a portable shelter to help other homeless people. He has the initial sketches and just needs to get a patent on it and test it.
I didn’t want to leave because I felt like there was still so much more we could have talked about. After two hours, my friend and I said our goodbyes because Daryl had to move his tent somewhere else because he wasn’t allowed to stay in one place for too long.
Reflection
It was negative one degrees that night and I was freezing after our two hour conversation. I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like to be out in the cold everyday of your life.
The conversation got me thinking a lot about our society, our values, and empathy. I think it’s common for a lot of people to become numb to the situation about homelessness. I found that it was true for myself. This conversation helped me realize that just because people are homeless doesn’t make them any different. They need people to hear their stories and people who care.
But the most important thing I got out of it was that there’s a layer beneath it all. A layer that we don’t see when we go about our everyday lives. That it’s complex in the downtown east side. That these stories are powerful. And that the most important thing to do sometimes is to give someone your time.
This experience challenged me to reflect more on my attitudes, perceptions, and actions. I connected it to the Japanese idea of kintsugi where broken items can be displayed and shown with pride because these stories showcase our resilience and beauty in broken places.
If you would like to help out, either by donating a violin to Kirsten or money to support Daryl’s project, feel free to contact me.
