Fear of Waiting 

A lesson about waiting and fear 

Have you ever thought of having a relationship at this time? At your current age? Well, being 15 and wanting a relationship is really hard for me. Honestly, I have been rejected a lot and trust me, it really hurts. It’s like you have been hit by a bullet.

I have never felt true love until I was in the 9th grade. I met someone, not just someone, it’s a special someone. At first, I see her only as a friend, but as time flies, my feelings for her grew and i ended up liking her. The only problem was that, I had a competition. There was another guy like me, but way better looking and way more athletic than me. It seems like he already won, but having the support of her friends, I pushed myself and pursued her, only to find out that she’s in a relationship with the other guy.

My heart broke. I was speechless. I felt like it was the end of the world. We were really great friends, but now, there’s just no communication at all, we haven’t talked to each other for four weeks now and i’m still in the process of moving on.

To be honest, I really miss her. I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss everything about her. You see, this is the problem, she knew the other guy for a really long time and she only knew me last summer (Summer here in the Philippines is during March-May).

It really sucked and I thought, what if I waited? What if she knew me for a long time, just like the other guy? Well, I fear that we wouldn’t be able to talk anymore because of the fact that she’s going to college and I’ll still be stuck in high school.

There is one thing I learned throughout this experience and I heard this line in the movie “After Earth”. “Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. Fear is a choice”

Basically, fear consumes us. We should not let it consume us because fear is not real. Why be afraid of something that you dont even know if it exists or not? Makes sense? We must wait and not be afraid of anything.

Well, it’s past my bed time and I need to get up early tomorrow for school. I hope I can inspire people with this. I’ll be making more soon. ☺

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