I’ve often asked myself why I didn’t investigate this medicine more deeply. In every other aspect of my life - I live, breathe and walk a healthy lifestyle. When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, degenerative disk disease and spastic torticollis — I was given a lunch paper bag with many pills with fibromyalgia — I read each warning label — don’t drive, may cause dizziness, don’t operate heavy equipment (my car) — I threw these all away instantly, attended a support group where the women in the group assured me I wouldn’t be working in a year — not to worry. I left and continued a life of exploration and holistic healing methods. After 10 years with uncontrollable spasms in my neck and extreme pain, a new family doctor reached out to me to encourage me to go to a neurologist for botox injections. I had heard of botox injections, but everything in me screamed ‘no’ and for years I didn’t go. After 10 or 11 after my initial diagnosis, I was right — it didn’t work. My neck was in a brace holding my head up. I was so angry. Back to the neurologist I went. This is when he refunded my $1K for the botox and prescribed 2 Rx — Trazadone and Klonopin. I took as prescribed and began sleeping well immediately and felt that the spasms were better. After a month, both prescriptions were empty and I assumed my course was over like one would think with an antibiotic. I began shaking uncontrollably when both of these medications were no longer being consumed. I sat in the back of my church where I attended daily Mass and prayed. A man came over and sat with me whom I didn’t know, saying he knew what I was going through. I didn’t know what he meant. He gave me comfort at the time and the strength to move forward. …

leaves falling from the Cherry tree

colors are yellow, orange and brown

lay upon the thick, wet, green grass — freshly cut

crows call in the distance

sky — cloudy

another hot, humid summer day

grateful for no schedule

peace that morning brings

hope of another breath

God’s wind beneath my wings

it’s been a long and winding road with lots of valleys and a few mountains

sunny days and cloudy days, stormy and snow covered

with moments of paralysis and days filled with miracles

living one day at a time is the answer to this life of mine

Invisible no more

hand in hand I dance with the Divine

~ Anita Adams 7/18/2020

Originally published at http://calledtowrite.org on July 19, 2020.

Week 1

Shelves at the Grocery Stores are half empty

Restaurants are Closed

Restrictions on how close we can be to one another — 6 feet apart

An Invisible Virus kills thousands within months

Schools and Jobs are closed

Underneath this though is the Robin outside my office window looking for nest building material and eating his morning worms

Flowers bloom on the Cherry Tree

And Daffodils and Forsythia burst into a variety of shades of Gold, Yellow and Orange

Goldfish swim happily in the pond and the Frogs return

The grass is green and covered with dew

The sky looks bluer and the clouds are ever…

…. death

for those who struggle with addiction

compassion is the salve

listening the love

another day — the hope

a friend asked recently, do you think, any person woke up one day and said — I want to be an addict? No!

Prescribed addiction happens every day — the numbers of exceed more than I can count— who’s prescribing — doctors, pharmacists, FDA, those who fund these organizations and invest in them to line their pockets.

Who’s suffering the consequences? Who’s dying? Who cares? I know the FDA does not, as I have reported the abuse prescribed by a neurologist for a muscular disorder known as spastic torticollis or dystonia. Who’s offering to compensate those who unknowingly became physically dependent on a prescribed medication and when they decided to stop taking the prescribed medication found out that their brain had been altered so much, that thoughts of suicide were an every day occurrence, with night terrors, tremors, anxiety, light and sound sensitivities, memory loss and lapses. …

not a noun

how many times have you heard these three words: I love you? — sound flat and full of void or duty

i’m blessed by a few very loving people that may not say I love you, or they may, but more importantly — they show it

How? — you might ask.

With a smile.

A telephone call.

A text.

Offering a prayer.

Lighting a candle.

An unexpected card.

Scheduling time to meet for a walk.

With a heartfelt hug.

Time to listen.

So grateful for those who make the time to listen and all the rest above.

Grateful to see love in action, not just words spoken in thin air that evaporate like steam from a pot or smoke from a fire.

Love is kind, Love is constant, Love is listening, Love is acceptance, Love is compassionate, Love is understanding, Love is gentle, Love is action ❤

There are three answers to questions, petitions, and prayers

One — Yes

Two — No

Three — Wait

Waiting is the most challenging. It requires patience and stillness. It also requires faith in the unseen.

Recently, I was sharing with someone if I were creating a quilt depicting the chapters of my life, it would consist of many squares — too many to count. Each one would be packed full of questions, choices, colors, clothes, travels, trees, water, sounds of music, nature, children, joy and tears. And at the bottom of each square, there would be sewn this fact: You were heard, cared for, protected and loved. All IS well. Love, J.C.

I wish I could remember this during the WAITING times, perhaps this will serve as a reminder of the love that’s always present in the midst of…..

Work until you die

American way

Live One Day One Moment at a Time