Facebook memories hurt

Today a memory popped up on Facebook. It was picture of me and my son in a swimming pool in 2009. He was 10 months old, just beautiful. We looked so happy. Actually he was not looking too impressed, he never really enjoyed his waterbabies class. I looked happy. I looked at this picture that popped up and I know that I will no longer smile that way again, well not for a long long time. For he passed away three months later. Exactly one month after his first birthday. That day, the unthinkable happened. The rugged was pulled from my feet. The lights went out.

Why does Facebook have to thrust this in my face? Until that moment I was having a decent day today and then SMACK. I cried so much today. For such pictorial memories serve to remind me of the beautiful one that I lost. Not that I need reminding but if I want to look at pictures this so has to be on my terms and I need to emotionally prepare for what is coming my way.

Seven years on, I am now leading my life again. I can go about my business without crumbling at the first, second, third etc hurdle . I have good days. I have bad days but they are now mostly good. I never thought I would be able to say that. I am here. I am living and I am loved.

I miss him so very much. Rest in peace my darling son. Watch over us, especially your little brother.