I haven’t written in a while, because I’ve been sick lately. I was sick of treated like shit, always on last place in someones life. I was even sick out of all the stress that was around me, I got swollen — that can be from allergy, but probably wasn’t in this case.
I feel so sick and tired being so nice to everyone, like I eat so much poop trough one hour walk. I get that shivers with every person passing right next to me. I have social anxiety from all the hate and all the pain everyone tried to give me. You can say “don’t take it to your heart”, but when you give a seat to older woman and she looks into your eyes with so much dis-respect. She even pushed me away when she was leaving the bus. That could be because she couldn’t stood up still but when I smiled in that moment and said “IT’S OKAY”, she looked me with so much anger in her eyes. I lose hope in humanity, because I have 2 grandpas and 2 grandmas and I know how helpful would it be that somebody my age did that for them.
It’s not only in old people, that act like that. Many other people my age are nervous and anxious. Because they don’t know what and how will their future look like. You don’t have a place to work, and even if you find a place to work you will be or less payed or won’t even receive paycheck. As for lot of people my age go in countries such as Germany (where I went), Ireland and etc.