Connection: The Power of Intrinsic Motivation
Changing course
I had made that drive to work hundreds of times before — but this time was different. The beautiful blue sky with puffy white clouds and the unusually light traffic that morning did nothing to calm the pit in my stomach. And as I got closer and closer to work, I could feel that pit transform into a racing heart and a growing lump in my throat. My body was brewing with anxiety. Tears welled up in my eyes as I finally admitted to myself that I could not go to work that day. The individual tear drops turned into an uncontrollable stream of relief as I made a U-Turn.
I had been pretty emotional leading up to that day — easily brought to tears and often feeling conflicted and unfulfilled. I kept scolding myself for feeling that way. After all, what did I have to complain about? I worked for a great company where I had successfully established a career over 14 years — an enviable six-figure salary, a great team of people to work with, and a respectable title. 9 months earlier, when things were feeling stagnant, I mustered up the courage to ask for the title I wanted and deserved. I got it. I should not be feeling this way.
During my time at this small, dynamic company, I had contributed as the right hand person to the founder and president. In our startup culture, titles had not mattered — we did whatever was needed to get the job done. The cutting edge graphics technology we were developing was compelling and new, and every day brought a new and exciting challenge. As the company grew, I grew with it — serving joyously as the glue that held the team together. Life was good and the work was fulfilling.
As part of our natural growth we had started pivoting from an intellectual property company into a product based company. We had decided to apply our cutting edge graphics technology to develop a sports score-bug system. I had a special affinity for the discipline of Product Management and stepped in to lead. The novelty of crafting the story of our evolving product was exciting — at first. After all, it was a great product and leveraged great technology, but my excitement only took me so far. I am NOT, nor have I ever been, a sports fan. For me watching sports equated to the passive consumption of endless hours of mindless entertainment (no offense to the people who enjoy it). Now I found myself leading the creation of a product that was trying to make that passive activity even more compelling. I felt my motivation waning.
But wait, there had to be something else to keep me motivated. Maybe a bigger challenge? A more impressive title? money? I settled on title — one that would recognize my contributions in a more meaningful way. I asked to have the title of VP of Product Development and not wanting to sound too greedy, added, or Director of Product Development. We settled on Director of Product Development and Operations. I was super excited. Surely this new title would be just the boost of energy I was looking for. And while I did not make VP, that would surely be next. The Director title was exciting and made me and my family proud. I was going to be the best Director.
New business cards, the celebratory announcement at work and with family, the new name card outside my cubicle all had me on a high … for a few weeks … and then I noticed my motivation was starting to dissipate again but this time what emerged in its place was internal conflict. Where did my allegiance lie? Do I make that decision to drive results and make the numbers even when it conflicted with our employees development and well being? How do I show real excitement for a product that I would never use myself? I found myself sometimes making choices that did not feel authentic nor purposeful.
The U-Turn I made that day was symbolic of a much bigger turning point.
The U-Turn I made that day was symbolic of a much bigger turning point for me. I turned around that day acknowledging that something had to change … again. It was clearly time to act, to move in a new direction.
I called in a mental health day, sat down and wrote my resignation letter with no backup plan except a leap of faith that there was something better out there. Something that felt more authentic. Perhaps something new, fresh, as yet unimagined, and truly inspiring!
The limitations of extrinsic motivators
How often do we go after the things that we believe would be self-validating? The corner office, a higher salary, an enviable title. We keep it in our focus, muster up the courage to go after it and often get it.
They feed our egos and make us feel more valuable — but for how long?
Our employers think they are doing the best for us — giving us what they believe makes us happy. The annual raise, the performance bonus, the opportunity to climb up the alluring career ladder keep us motivated to stay for another year, another 5 years, another decade.
My boss was super happy when I left his office the day he bestowed the director title on me. He applauded my courage to ask for what I wanted. He believed he had provided me the boost of motivation that would keep me happy. So you can imagine his shock, disappointment and confusion when I handed him my resignation letter.
So what went wrong? If money, title and position didn’t do the trick, what would make a difference?
If money, title and position didn’t do the trick, what would make a difference?
Connecting to intrinsic motivators
When I made the U-Turn that day, I was not clear on what I wanted other than a desire for more meaningful work — something that felt more authentic and allowed me to come more alive.
Ultimately, I found it at the intersection of four things: my natural strengths, my values, what people are willing to pay for, and what I believe the world needs from me. The Japanese have a word for this: Ikigai.
I found my Ikigai at the intersection of four things: my natural strengths, my values, what people are willing to pay for, and what I believe the world needs from me.
Today, I make a living as an Independent agility coach — one with a purpose and mission! My self-declared purpose is now very clear: to be the catalyst that activates purposeful agility. And my mission is to help individuals and organizations thrive with deeper purpose amidst increasing complexity and accelerating change.
What does my current work-life balance look like? I have never worked harder or longer hours in my life. I have never spent more time studying and learning new things. I have never been more creative. I have never had more energy. I have never been more active in my community. I have never earned more money. And I have never felt more happy and fully alive.
What had changed so dramatically?
Freedom — freedom to choose where I spend my energy. What I work on, when I work and who I work with.
Excellence — the opportunity to strive for excellence by delivering work that makes me really proud and is constantly getting better.
Purposeful work — the opportunity to do work that is aligned with my values and that I believe helps people make sense of their lives as they navigate through increasing complexity and accelerating change.
Relationships — the opportunity to foster and enjoy truly meaningful relationships.
I have learned that these motivators are not unique to me.
Dan Pink in his book Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us asserts that the secret to high performance and satisfaction — at work, at school, and at home — is the deeply human need to direct our own lives, to learn and create new things, and to do better by ourselves and our world. He captures the three core elements of true intrinsic motivation as — autonomy, mastery, and purpose (easily remembered by the acronym AMP — as in ‘AMP up your work life’)
The three core elements of true intrinsic motivation are— autonomy, mastery, and purpose
Edward Deci and Richard Ryan whose work on Self Determination Theory became the foundation for Dan Pink’s work, state that intrinsic motivation is driven by three innate psychological needs:
- The need for autonomy
- The need to feel competent
- The need for relatedness
In Deci’s view, when these needs are being fulfilled, we will have plenty of motivation. When there are obstacles between us and these needs, we will not.
When these needs are being fulfilled, we will have plenty of motivation. When there are obstacles between us and these needs, we will not.
In other words, once people have their basic needs met, they are no longer motivated by ‘carrots and sticks’ but instead by meaningful work and meaningful relationships (as business icon Ray Dalio would put it).
A unique story?
So why is this important and why should you care?
So, as it turns out, my story is not that unique. It is the common story of an intuitive and inspired minority who have had the courage and circumstances to mindfully change course. The vast majority feel trapped and, sadly, never act. American philosopher Henry Thoreau understood this struggle: “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.’’
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.’’ — Henry Thoreau
If organizations want to thrive in the new creative economy, the year after year dismal statistic of only ~30% of employees being fully engaged at work can no longer be waved off with a white flag of surrender. The current cultural and market trends make a compelling case for organizations to pay attention and act now.
The year after year dismal statistic of only ~30% of employees being fully engaged at work can no longer be waved off with a white flag of surrender.
The gig economy, the service economy, and the rapidly growing ‘experience’ economy have ushered in unconventional jobs and alternate options. The millennials and gen-z’ers have different expectations of work and a shifting notion of career success. Increased mobility and the war for talent is making it easier and easier for people to do exactly what I did: to walk away in pursuit of deeper fulfillment.
Organizations that want to retain their best talent and thrive need to tap into the powerful human desire for meaningful work (connection to purpose) and meaningful relationships (connection to people) and honor the natural human preference for relative autonomy (connection to freedom) in the pursuit of mastery of craft (connection to excellence)
Enlightened leaders understand that the answer lies in these questions: “How do we support our employees in connecting to our shared purpose? How can we support the fostering of more meaningful relationships? How do we create opportunities for work that allow people to show up as their full selves? How do we create opportunities for people to develop mastery in their craft and enjoy continuous learning?”
Are you ready to connect to the power of intrinsic motivation?
Meaningful work (connection to purpose)
Meaningful relationships (connection to people)
Autonomy (connection to freedom)
Mastery of craft (connection to excellence)
What are you doing to connect to the power of intrinsic motivation?
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