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Building blocks of Relationship

A month back I was out with my friend for a coffee. Towards the end of the meeting he was in a hurry to leave telling that he has to buy a gift for his 11 year old daughter. Last week I met the father-daughter duo again. When I asked what he bought for the daughter, he proudly said, “I got her the Mango Sandals for Rs.7500.” I could see the daughter rolling her eyes and mouthing ‘huff’ behind her dad. Later she told me that all she wanted was the new Nike shoes for her tennis practice. Being known them for a while, I knew that the girl was more into sports and definitely not someone who would style those sandals.

This got me thinking. Aren’t we all guilty of doing the same mistake as my friend? Be it gifts, presents or even a favor, we do things to people that we think as the best for them. If we could take a few minutes and really understand their need and help them, it wouldn’t be just good but useful too.

The intentions of my friend as a father were genuine. He really wanted to give the best to his daughter. He is definitely a nice man. But the success of the father-daughter relationship cannot be affirmed with the same. Now, let us shift the scene and imagine ourselves in every role we play- Employee, boss, friend, spouse, sibling, and son/daughter. How successful are we in those relationships? Do we really understand the other person’s need and help them or are we going by our own assumptions of their needs?

As a husband, your wife might be expecting some quality time with you. Instead gifting her a diamond ring would not make your relationship successful. Or the situation could be vice versa where the expectation is a diamond ring and not the quality time. The key is to understand what really the other person wants.

Be an entrepreneur, be a father, be a son, be a citizen- the point is making the relationship successful. And for that shed the assumption and go extra step to understand better. Because, end of the day it is about building the relationships right.