One of those days

This is for anyone who needs this right now like I did.

Here’s a link to the playlist I made for myself before I wrote this. It’s all cliché but we need it sometimes.

There’s happy days in this life. And there are “those days", that we don’t even dare name.

On days like those you need to listen to sad, touchy songs, cry lots, drink some wine, eat some chocolate, perhaps some ice cream, have some ibuprofen if you need… and just do you. Focus on making yourself feel good. Not happy, cause you can’t do it on days like this. But to feel good you can.

Those are the days when you’re closest to your soul, to your emotions, because that’s when you realise how lonely you actually are. That’s when you start thinking about Nietzsche and Nihilism, and perhaps wonder why there are five consonants in a row in his name.

You think about your grandmother and you’re missing her and her house. You wonder why your life is so fucked up — and if it isn’t, you’ll wonder why you can’t be happy with it then. To both questions, you’ll find the same answer, that you’re the one who’s fucked up. But once you realise that, something clicks and you begin to accept it. You’re fucked up — what’s the big deal? Well, if you’re lucky you accept it, anyway…

You listen to the piano part in a song you love and you wonder why you stopped learning how to play it.

You try deciding on a movie, but then end up reading a book, or better, eating.

You try meeting up with your friends, but then decide to stay home.

You feel like smoking tonight. Something. But you won’t leave the house.

You’ll end up drinking instead and falling asleep.

You’ll forget about this night, when you were so close to your heart, until you have another of these days.

And you’ll start thinking… thinking it’s not that bad after all…