Why is getting more stuff making you lose your identity?
We all know who the most successful and the most influential influencer has been for years — Mr./Mrs. Consumerism.
For the purpose of this article let’s all pretend that s/he is an attractive (however you want to imagine your dream man or a woman to be) young woman/man. And they want you close to them, they want you to spend all your time with them or thinking about them.
You are young and naive and they are very, very seductive. You want to enjoy yourself and they seem fun. However, you know they are toxic. They don’t care about the environment or social justice.
All in all, you can see all the red flags but you want to have some fun and you promise yourself you won’t “catch” any feelings.
Why wouldn’t you indulge a little bit? Just a bit, a kiss would do, right? Wrong.
Ok, let’s take a step back. Most of us have “normal” corporate jobs. Not great, not terrible. Of course, there are things that you don’t like but nobody really loves their job. If you stay committed, respectful, show up on time, you’ll keep it till you move on to the next thing.
The good thing about these sorts of jobs is that it gets you paid. Nevertheless, how you are using that money is our article’s problem.
We should be aware that we exchange our precious time for money. It is your skill that pays you, but essentially it is your time and attention you give for an exchange. A lot of people spend years, even decades in education to sharpen their skills. Although I like to consider myself young, time flies and it turns out I invested more than 2 decades of my life in education and I’m still not there!
We all work hard and spend most of our time on our jobs and that takes a lot of energy. So to get back to the title of this article, how is it exactly wrong if we afford ourselves a good car, a new smartphone, the newest designer bag, treat ourselves with a dinner at that expensive restaurant, a weekend in the spa, a getaway vacation to Tenerife? We are all guilty (at least to an extent).
And I’m not saying there is anything wrong with an intentional treat. However, we should be aware that a fling with our Mr./Mrs. Consumerism usually turns into a long-lasting relationship.
This relationship is your classical toxic relationship. You forget who you are and lose yourself in it.
Years pass and you are still in the same job or a similar one without any idea how you spent all that money. Did you put anything on the side? Have you paid yourself first?
If you were in college, most likely you had to pay your debts off. Maybe you had to help your parents or brother/sister out. Maybe you didn’t have the courage to venture off into a freelance/entrepreneur world but what was the price you’ve paid? Where are all these dreams you’ve had? Where are all these ideas?
What are your values?
Another fellow Medium writer describes the problem here. He focuses on the problem of a ceiling that we all experience working for someone. He goes on to mention that an average person in the USA earns roughly somewhere between $30,000 and $40,000, which would mean that in a 40-year long working life we should earn around $2,000,000.
Where does that money go? Remember, nobody can judge you. This article is not here to judge, this article is here to shake you a bit, hoping to make you question your actions because your actions judge you.
This is a warning for all of us in our 20s and a reminder for any other age. We should question our values and remember that things we buy only give us a fleeting sense of pleasure. But that is a topic for another story.
What can you do now?
- Ask yourself do you really need the newest version of *insert your kryptonite here*.
- Be intentional with spending your money. Watch your expenses and analyze them. Nowadays you can use an app for that. Does your internet banking site have your expenses broken down? Check it out.
- Take a course and learn how to deal with your money. If a course sounds threatening, watch a couple of videos on the topic. A lot of good videos can be found on Youtube for $0.
- Invest in yourself, rather than in material things. Read, learn, develop. Make yourself a more interesting person, instead of filling your apartment with more things.
- Question your values.
- Don’t sell yourself short.
- Quit that toxic relationship.
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