I’m a Loser, or: When Life Gives You Lemons, Get Some Salt and Tequila and Have Fun

Photo by Ulyana Tim on Unsplash

Has it ever occurred to you that you’re a loser? To me it occurred constantly, before. Our modern life imposes on us the image of a successful person. It might be not bad as a guiding line, but when everyone fears to admit they are not perfect and tries so hard to look like they are, it’s rather disappointing.

I couldn’t understand for so long why people were so eager to exhibit their cardboard life: here is my house, my car, my beautiful wife, clever children, here I’m on holiday, here I’m eating oysters and drinking champagne. The list goes on endlessly.

And the more lemons life throw at them, the more pompous is the exhibition; they literally take a beautiful life on credit. When I got acquainted with social networks, I was astounded to see this illusory copy of a successful life. One may get an inferiority complex by looking at that. Which was once the case with me, actually.

Then, as I emerged as a market specialist, I realized it was merely a brilliant marketing ploy — to instill in people the stereotype of successfulness and make them live for using new goods and services.

Look at it from a different angle. In our mind, a successful person is a status. So he must have: clothing of a certain brand; a smartphone (the newest one, with a great many functions); an apartment in a prestigious district; a luxury car; a wife — some miss, better Miss World; children studying at some private school and/or at prestigious university; personal yachts and planes, if not — at least business-class tickets.

The whole thing is assigned and ranged according to the position you hold. The imposed stereotype of successfulness ruins a working community from the inside.

The absence of warm relations is considered alright.

We were told: “What matters is career advancement, at work you are to achieve success.” So we begin to tread on heads, gaining points to climb the career ladder. Still, is all that fuss really worth it?

We’re all trapped in those stereotypes set by talented marketers, and it’s even not our own desires and choice — it’s just the way things are done. I understood long ago it was out of my hands to fight the system; it’s better to educate and develop yourself — definitely a realer thing to do. On the Web I found some good pieces of advice on how to become successful — they are based on the principles of truly independent and successful people.

You know, I’d call this list “How to learn to filter things off and not to be obsessed by stereotypes.”

Appreciate quality, not quantity. This concerns things and relations and aims. Distinguish between what’s really important for you and what’s not. Stick to your aim.
Take care of health and welfare — yours and your close people. That’s what really matters, because no one but we will look after it.
Evaluate yourself objectively. Don’t copy others, we’re all different. Everyone has their positive and negative parts.
Develop your merits and work on your flaws.
Aim at the attainable. If you have a big, seemingly unachievable aim, think up a strategy and go to that aim in small but quite real steps. There’s no good going to extremes, and rest should be planned as well.
Do what you really like. Being involved in what repels you is not a good idea.

Believe in yourself. Don’t care about those trying to put a worm of doubt in your mind. Go your own way.