What Self-Respect and Hate for the Ones from Your Past Have in Common

Photo by Arthur Yeti on Unsplash

You make coffee in the morning — with cream, as today is Tuesday. Every day of the week you prepare coffee tasting differently, but there is the same aftertaste every time.

With the supposed-to-be love of your life you parted 2 years ago. On the very first day, having sobered up, you threw away all the things that reminded you of him: you were in rage. It wrapped you up, and all you wanted was let go of it, throwing away from your life all the belongings of your ex-boyfriend. The day before, sitting at the bar with your female friend, you decided he was a mistake of yours and must be cut out of your life.

But somehow, every morning you still wake up with the same predominant mood. It feels like some natural burden, which other people refer to as “life experience.” And everything is kind of okay.

Except this is not life experience. This is negativity that you grasp with both hands, making up your mind to cross out of your life your ex and all the remembrance of him. This is negativity that takes hold when you see things and places reminding of him. This is the hidden hate you decided to tote always and everywhere, having crossed out all the time spent together.

Isn’t it funny? You cut off a part of your life to get rid of it, but instead, it stuck to you.

Every time I hear people saying “it’s over,” “I crossed her out of my life,” “this person no longer exists for me,” I actually hear the following:

“I didn’t know and still don’t know what to do. I was so shocked by what had happened to me I decided to cut that person out of my life.”

And that situation still exists inside of people. They haven’t let it go. Haven’t accept it. Haven’t treated it with respect, but the other was once their choice. The choice of their heart.

That situation hovers over a person and lives on with them day in, day out. That’s why the favorite coffee doesn’t bring any happiness, a new partner is not perfect. Life is peachy, but something’s wrong, nevertheless.

It’s important to understand one thing: it was YOUR time. You can’t cut it out of your life, can’t bury and forget it. You can’t cross out a part of your past: you can only deceive your mind, that’s it.

Learn to appreciate yourself. Learn respect for yourself. For hate, spite, sarcastic comments, avoidance of thoughts about the other only destroys you.

And every time I come upon a person remaining in such conditions, I want to ask: how come that you haven’t learnt to love yourself yet?

I wish you tasty coffee and joy on each and every day.