The Eternal Connection

A discussion of Psychic Mediums

“I see dead people.” — The Sixth Sense (1999)

I believe in life after death; or in other words, ghosts. Do I believe in the inauthentic, ludicrous versions of ghosts that are displayed on TV and in Movie Theatres? Not so much. I believe in the spiritual existence of living souls that remain on earth in a state of anguish and grief, not the gruesome monsters that cause physical violence and terror on innocent families, which the media strives to focus on in horror movies such as, “The Woman in Black,” and the series “The Grudge.”

The question of whether ghosts are real, comes with a follow up question; are people able to communicate with the dead? Psychic Mediums, as they are called, are people that hold this gift of communicating with spirits (or it may be called, like the famous film, “The Sixth Sense.” The word psychic is derived from the Greek word psychikos (“of the mind” or “mental”) and refers to the part of the human mind or psyche.

While searching for the definition of a “Psychic Medium” on dictionary.com, I came across a particularly interesting description of the subject; “A person supposedly used as a spiritual intermediary between the dead and the living.” Supposedly, it states. Never in my life have I come across a dictionary definition that describes a subject so uneasily. I continued my research by searching on a more reliable page, Oxford Dictionary, which then describes Mediums as, “a person claiming to be in contact with the spirits of the dead and to communicate between the dead and the living.” “Claiming.” Another supposition.

I began to realize that the makers of these dictionaries are skeptics themselves of the concept of a “Psychic Medium,” and searched for multiple definitions on other known dictionaries, discovering the following:

“A person thought to have the power to communicate with the spirits of the dead or with agents of another world or dimension. Also called psychic.” -thefreedictionary.com.

“A person who claims to receive messages from people who are dead.” -Cambridge Dictionary.

“An individual held to be a channel of communication between the earthly world and a world of spirits.” -Websters Dictionary.

What do all these definitions have in common? They all have uncertainty in their tone and diction. These definitions portray a sense of supposition and haziness of the concept of being able to connect with the dead, as well as the reality of the paranormal existence. So what does this all mean? This means that the highest of intellectuals are skeptics themselves of the idea of the afterlife and existence as a soul in our world. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t believe in it.

The Scam Artists

How can one tell the difference between a phony and a genuine Psychic Medium? How do we know that we aren’t people tricked by someone obsessed with their own stardom?

Let me first explain the definition of a cold reading; “Cold reading refers to a set of techniques used by professional manipulators to get a subject to behave in a certain way or to think that the cold reader has some sort of special ability that allows him to “mysteriously” know things about the subject.” Many “known” mediums have been caught in the act of said “cold reading,” and have been less trusted because of the simple tactics they used to trick their innocent clients into believing that the medium was actually speaking with their love ones. In fact, cold readings are so simplistic and effortless, there is a wikiHow page on how to perform a cold reading. If such a tactic can be used in any situation, as easy as reading a google page about it, why do people continue to believe in mediums? Perhaps the answer is, because of their own personal experiences. The skeptics of mediums will exclaim with flying hands that mediums deceive their clients, and they focus more on their stardom than aiding the grieving clients they encounter. The believers, will claim that mediums really do help people, and they are there to communicate information over to the living from the dead, to help the grieving families who have lost ones dear and close to their hearts.

The question of the legitimacy of Psychic Mediums is a great controversial topic, because of the past incidents with cold readings and faulty predictions provided by some of the most famous mediums. For example, the infamous Sylvia Browne.

Sylvia Browne was one of the most famous Psychic Mediums who influenced the world and made herself known on TV Shows such as “Larry King Live,” and, “The Montel Williams Show.” At the age of five, she supposedly could sense spirits and see visions, and began readings and writing books that glorified her “gift.”. But, one of the greatest faults in her career, was her erroneous predictions of the fates of two specific victims of kidnappings, two different cases. Not only did she declare a faulty conclusion of the lives of Shawn Hornbeck and Amanda Berry, but her “visions” tortured their parents and caused unnecessary grief upon the friends and family of the children. Shawn Hornbeck, who was kidnapped at the age of 11, was found miraculously after four years in captivity, and was reunited with his parents whom were told by Sylvia Browne, that not only was Shawn Hornbeck a lost cause, but his body was buried beneath two jagged boulders. When this prediction proved wrong, the riots of hatred towards Browne heightened and could only grow with her continuation of her faulty reports. Amanda Berry was another helpless victim of kidnapping, taken into isolation for nearly 10 years. Her mother, in desperation and anguish, reached out to Browne for information of the whereabouts of her daughter. In response, Browne answered with a cold response, “She’s dead honey,” in which she followed up by, “Your daughters not the kind who wouldn’t call.” After ten years in captivity, Amanda Berry was found safe and very well alive, but unfortunately her mother had passed earlier in the years due to pancreatitis, and could not receive the wonderful news that her daughter, despite Browne’s claims, was alive and free from her captor.

These prime examples of cold readings practiced by Browne show that not all mediums can be faithful, and not all of them focus on the wellbeing of their clients. Some focus merely on the progression of their stardom. Browne had even charged seven hundred dollars for her sessions, even with families dealing with kidnappings.

Sylvia Browne is a fraud, tricking her clients into believing that she is connecting with their loved ones, when really, she is making uncanny guesses about the whereabouts of a lost child, using her known knowledge of past kidnappings to declare confidently, “they are dead.”

The Genuine Kind

Not all Psychic Mediums are utter frauds. In my own opinion, one of the greatest Psychic Mediums I have seen on TV and in real life, is a Long Island mom from the TV Show “Long Island Medium,” Theresa Caputo.

Theresa is a quirky, fashionable mother of two who has her own reality show that demonstrates her gift of being able to communicate with the dead. And to answer your question, yes, I believe she is a real Psychic Medium. Theresa has her spirits come to her in some of the most casual, yet strangest places, such as Ice Cream Shops, the mechanic, and even a workout center. But it’s there that Theresa finds people who are suffering from grieving, and whose love ones desperately search for them to bring closure in their lives. One of the most heart wrenching episodes of Long Island Medium was when Theresa held a group meeting at a woman’s house, and called forth the mother of a son who was deceased. The mother identifies herself as the mother of a boy named “Bobby,” who confirmed by Theresa was called “her little buddy,” all the time. Theresa explains that Bobby shows her the books his mother kept of his, and he shows her his mother looking through all of his books, and tells the mother that when she reads those books, his son’s soul is with her. It then shows in a private interview with the mother, that her son died at only seven months old, and that a part of her died with him. Theresa then asks what happened with the head of her son, which the mother confirms was an accident with his stroller getting caught up against his crib while he was napping, and she found him hung against his stroller with his head caught, suffocating him. By the time the mother tried to free him, he had passed. She confessed that she suffered everyday, and she thinks of him every single day in guilt. Theresa consoles the woman and tells her that her son tells her to stop blaming herself, that it was a crazy accident, and even if the mother was there that she couldn’t have saved her son. Theresa brings forth peace to the mother, who felt nothing less of relief and pure happiness that her son was safe and healthy in heaven. The episode brought tears to my eyes, as it did to thousands, and that’s what really convinced me that Theresa was real, that she brings positivity into peoples lives with her messages from spirit.

My Story

I remember it as if it were yesterday; the day my best friend passed away. His name was Buddy, Buddy Papa, and he was a black labrador retriever. My mom brought him home as a hyper little puppy when I was only six years old on Christmas Eve. He raced around the house, sniffing all the new scents, and he jumped on all of us in excitement. It was the best Christmas present I have ever received, and will always be. Buddy and me had grown up together, and he had become my literal “buddy.” When me and my mom would argue or fight, he would always be lying on my rug in my bedroom, taking my side. Buddy loved to nuzzle too, and would try and climb up onto the couch, to my mother’s dismay, and pretend to be a lap dog. Buddy was the sweetest, most caring dog in the world. He was like a little brother to me. He would never hurt a living thing, and his soul was that of a peaceful humans. He was a healthy and happy little puppy, until he was diagnosed with diabetes a couple years ago.

It was a Wednesday when my mother came into my room in tears saying that she found Buddy laying out in the snow after two hours of him disappearing. He was low on insulin. His heart beat was racing when I pressed my mothers stethoscope against his heart. I gave him water and placed a blanket over his shivering body. It was a heart breaking moment to see him so immobile. My little puppy had grown old, and he’d grown weak. I sat with him until my mom rushed back with a new insulin bottle, and thankfully he was back to normal the next day.

Saturday comes, and I was in my room on my computer when my mother came in to tell me she was taking Buddy to the hospital; he was growing weak and immobile again. I figured he would be home with a new list of medications and I didn’t think much of it. I was finishing up my fifth episode of a Netflix show when my mother called me. I answered to my heart wrenched mother, telling me that Buddy was dying. She told me they found cancer spread throughout his body, and that he didn’t have much time to live, the tumors were killing his body every second. She rushed to get me and drive me back to the hospital. I bursted open the emergency room doors where they lead us to Buddy’s cage. He was laying down, his head tucked into his paws, and he barely lifted his head up to see us. I sat down beside him and took his head into my arms, crying into his fur as my mother talked to the nurse, begging if there was anything we could do to save him. But there wasn’t. We decided it would be best to put him out of his misery, so me and my mother both agreed that we would put him to sleep that night. I decided I didn’t want to watch it happen; I decided that I wanted to think of Buddy happy and alive as my final thought. I stayed with Buddy until the bitter moment of goodbye. I held him, kissed his nose and called him my, “Buddy;” I told him he would always be, “Anna’s Buddy.” I looked at him as much as I could before he would turn into a memory in my head. I held him and hugged him, and cried and cried. I finally received the strength to get up and let him go. And letting go was the hardest part of this process. I walked out of that emergency room with a broken heart, and returned home to an empty house.

The hardest part of letting go of someone, is thinking that you’ll never be able to see them again, or be able to communicate with them. All I’ve wanted to do since Buddy passed was to be able to see him again, running in our backyard or lounging in the grass in the hot sun. I want to talk to him, I want to call him my “Buddy,” and the thought of never being able to do that again is a thought that has haunted me ever since. Call me silly, but if I were to encounter a medium like Theresa, I would hope that she could channel Buddy, that she could tell me if he’s in doggy heaven, if he’s living without cancer there, and pain free. I would want her to tell Buddy that I loved him so much, and that I will never forget about him. He may be a dog, but he was my best friend, and he deserves to know how much he was loved in his life here on earth.

I don’t understand how people could live with the thought that once you are gone, there can never be communication with your loved ones ever again. Would you never want to talk to your grandfather again? Or have closure with your mother who passed? What about your own pet, what if they passed unexpectedly? You never know what you have until it’s gone, and I believe that’s why people are believers. I believe that’s why people have faith in Psychic Mediums; it’s people like me that strongly believe that I can communicate with Buddy again, that I won’t be left here thinking I’m a monster for putting him down. It’s closure with our loved ones, what’s the crime in trying to receive that? Well?

It’s not a crime to believe.

Skeptics and Cynics

“Death is a part of life, and pretending that the dead are gathering in a television studio in New York to talk twaddle with a former ballroom-dance instructor is an insult to the intelligence and humanity of the living.” —Michael Shermer

Not everybody believes in the same thing; that’s why there’s such a thing called politics. Everybody’s going to have their own opinion, there’s always going to be a devils advocate, and of course there will be a disagreement over a great controversy; like life after death.

A skeptic is defined as, “A person who questions the validity or authenticity of something purporting to be factual.” There is actually a website called Skepdic.com, which in summary is a dictionary for skeptics, where every definition is supported by factual “science.” They debunk the paranormal, religious beliefs, remedies for healing the body, and even call anyway who doesn’t believe them “deluded.”

If you look online and type in, “Theresa Caputo…” it will be followed by, “Theresa Caputo fake,” “Theresa Caputo cold reading.” I knew of course that Theresa would have her skeptics, she said herself, “I’m not here to convince anyone, I’m here to bring a message across that could save someone.” The skeptics believe she plants people in her audience, that she interviews people beforehand and brings them onto her show pretending “she had never met them before.”

All mediums will have skeptics, because the paranormal world has not been confirmed yet, it’s still a controversial topic. Sylvia Browne most definitely had her skeptics, me included. Even the famous “John Edwards,” another Psychic Medium, had his skeptics, including the hit TV Show, “South Park,” where they held an episode about John Edwards titled a raunchy name. In the commentary, Trey Parker explains that, “John Edwards can supposedly talk to the dead…he did just use this method called cold reading that’s been around for ever…he really is just a big ***** that made tons of money preying off of peoples sadness and loss.” Matt Stone adds that every ten years a “guy shows up in a different shirt and hair, but really does the same thing and that is cold readings.” The makers have sympathy for the people John Edwards “preyed on,” and they say they are skeptics because so many mediums have taken advantage of victims of loss merely for the advantage of stardom and becoming wealthy.

It’s not so much that skeptics are trying to hurt people or ruin people’s imaginations of being able to connect with their loved ones, “…we [psychics] are here to heal people and to help people grow…skeptics…they’re just here to destroy people. They’re not here to encourage people, to enlighten people. They’re here to destroy people.” —James Van Praagh on “Larry King Live,” March 6, 2001.

No, skeptics don’t mean to harm people, they just refuse to believe that the actual subject exists due to the lack of scientific evidence, and protect themselves from being deceived by the “evil” Psychic Mediums of our time.

My remaining question is, why did we become so obsessed with this idea of the paranormal? More specifically, where did this idea of the paranormal originate from? Is the paranormal real at all?

I cannot conclude this essay, because concluding it means I have come to a decision that Psychic Mediums are real. I may believe that is so, but I cannot prove it. I can only bring forth my own opinions on why I believe they’re real, and hope to bring the magic of communicating with the other side into your world. I will leave it to scientists and parapsychologists to decide whether the paranormal world exists or not; for now, I’m just a strong believer with a broken heart and a determination to connect with my love ones.

Rest in Peace

Buddy Papa (2003-2013)