Addiction to the Quick and Easy

(EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK “WHEN THE HEART WAITS” BY Sue Monk Kidd)

“…we are becoming a nation of quickaholics — People compulsively seeking out quick and easy ways to live life and solve problems, avoiding what is deep, difficult and therefore growth-producing.”
“Anne Wilson Schaef maintains that ‘process addictions’ occur when a person becomes hooked on a specific series of actions in order to avoid inner pain or inner growth. In her book When Society Becomes an Addict, she refers to watching television, running, accumulating money, and working long hours, among other activities, as processes that can become addictive….”
“I believe that in this same sense, pursuing the quick and easy can become addictive; we avoid our lives by moving faster and faster, going from one shortcut to another. Obviously it isn’t unhealthy to choose easier or less time-consuming ways to manage our lives. But when we begin to use these methods to avoid dealing with our inner condition — -with problems, pain and potential — -we may cross the line.”
“…the natural gradient in us (as humans) is toward growth. Whatever we use repeated and compulsively to stop that growth is our particular addiction. An addictive behavior ‘keeps us unaware of what is going on inside us’, notes Schaef. Darting through life at a progressively increasing speed diverts us from deeper realities. Likewise, latching onto easy, quick-fix solutions, becomes a way to escaping the slow pain of uncertainty and self-confrontation. It helps us avoid the misery of wading through the inner mire toward change.”
~Sue Monk Kidd

I believe that you can also apply this to situations and relationships that a person continually slides back into in order to avoid being alone, to avoid looking at themselves closely and figuring out WHO they are and WHAT makes them happy. This can also apply to those destructive situations that people get themselves into time and time again. For example. A person might be in a good, stable job, have an apartment, car, things that a person needs to feel successful. But then, unconsciously to that person, they make choices that threaten the stable job and apartment, they take on too many bills, spend too much, call into work, “forget” to take care of the car… soon, things are falling apart around them and they ask themselves “why does this keep happening to me?” As if none of their OWN choices have led them into that situation. Everyone has their own specific patterns that seem to “follow them through life”. Some believe that our purpose in life is to work through these issues and learn from them, to create good Karma, and to gather that Karma so that our next lives are improved. Some others believe that by going through these life crisis, a newer ‘being’ or birth of a new soul is the reward and that we are continually laboring through so that our ‘new soul’ can be brought to life.

Whatever you believe, it is important to take a step back from your life and really LOOK at what your patterns might be. I have learned to recognize a few destructive patterns in my own life. Sometimes I notice them in time to make corrective changes and get ‘back on track’. Sometimes I recognize them “after the fact” and then have to struggle to right the situation to get “back on track”. Even at the age of 45 years young, I am still growing, still learning, still ‘becoming’ the ME that I am supposed to be. I truly believe that it is a lifelong process. :-)