Day 50 — Traditions

Sunday, October 26, 2014

I unexpectedly had the day off because of the festivals. I thought about going to lakeside again but stayed in to study some Nepali. In the evening, I insisted on helping my host mother make dinner but said grandmother was already doing it. I wouldn’t give up and said I would just watch, so I sat at the dining table with grandmother preparing vegetables, and talked with my host mother which was really nice. She had told me this morning that one of the teachers was married to someone who had another wife in a different village. It made me curious so I asked her more about it, which led to a long conversation on marriages, divorces, arranged marriages, and related customs in Nepal. She told me stories of how certain castes in Nepal, when their son is arranged to marry a girl from India, demand a very large dowry that are often too expensive (eg. motorbikes and cars) and can’t be afforded. I was then shocked to hear that when the girl and her family cannot meet these demands, the son and his family torture the girl after marriage (both mentally and physically). I was curious to know more but refrained, fearing an unpleasant conversation. Another new thing I learned was the fact that some castes still prohibit lower caste members from entering their house. A level slightly less severe would be to let lower castes in but prohibit them from eating or drinking in their house because they believe it is juto (impure). Although newer generations are apparently changing these ideas and traditions, it was still unbelievable to me. Remembering what the two girls from Kathmandu told me about teens dating in secret, I asked my host mother about the dating culture in Nepal. She said parents don’t allow it and of course, try to arrange marriages. I asked about her personal stance on the topic and smiling, she told me that she would be open to the idea of letting Noel date.