Take a deep breath…
August 15th marks Relaxation Day — I can’t say I’d heard of it before, but that doesn’t surprise me. Our lack of emphasis on relaxation is endemic of a society that cannot rest; that ‘sleep is for the weak’ kind of approach to living. Relaxation is a luxury, reserved for holidays ‘away from it all’; it doesn’t find much of a place for most of us otherwise.
It’s not our fault, we are all so driven that we don’t spot the warning signs until they smack us in the face. If we’re tired we use caffeine and sugar to lift us, or finding it hard to unwind so we pour an extra evening tipple. It’s cool, we’re human. But if we can’t redress the balance and reward our intense productivity and activity with relaxation, we can pay a very real human cost.
Simple sounding and often overlooked, for the most part our breath is an involuntary mechanism. Or so I thought, until I had to find a way out of my first panic attack some 12 years ago.
I’ll spare you the details but my first panic attack was completely public, having started in the middle of a sales-floor meeting in a tiny, overcrowded office.
It was the beginning of the decline in my ability to cope with my working environment at that time, borne partly of my immense life dissatisfaction, a whole load of unresolved trauma and frustration at not having a clue what I was supposed to be doing with this adult life I suddenly found myself with.
Years hurtled by, the jobs changed and gratefully I had people close to me that offered insight and wisdom enough to teach me strategies to cope; most importantly I learned to control my breathing, which eventually became the key to me regaining myself amidst later traumas and stressful situations.
Roll forward to this week, stressed out by a combination of factors and I remember to take a few very deep, slow and controlled breaths before I react. It’s magic works almost instantly, and I resume functioning at the appropriate level — preferable to ’30 seconds from screaming-wild flailing banshee’ level.
I can take a moment to calm myself before choosing how best to deal with the situation.
Gratefully it has been several years since I have suffered with panic attacks, but I know wholeheartedly the breath-work helped. It was helped through my yoga practice, meditation and just trying to connect with my breath as often as possible. When you start looking into it there are hundreds of specific breathing exercises you can do, the first time I heard my incredible yogi-sisters mention the words ‘ujjayi breath’ I thought they must have been talking about something I’d eaten, especially when they held their noses, but they quickly demonstrated otherwise. I was grateful and less self conscious after that.
It pays to have a sense of humour about it all, as some of the exercises are frankly hilarious when you’ve never seen or heard them before, but that’s a double win for relaxation; you can’t be stressed out while laughing at your lion’s breath face — click the link below for a video from the amazing ‘Yoga with Adrienne’ demonstrating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdUyHPa66A4
It’s not holistic-woo-woo-non-sense either, it is firmly rooted in science; breathing deeply calms the nervous system, stimulates the vagus nerve and in turn reduces blood pressure and tension. You can read a little more in-depth if you’d like to here.
One of my favourite every-day moments is taking several deep breaths when I am outside. It could be anywhere from walking to a shop to immersing myself in the sights and sounds of nature, it is combined with a mindfulness of my surroundings in the moment, and helps me to feel more relaxed and grounded. Actually, it makes me feel fantastic.
Being mindful of my breathing gives me an extra level of patience when it comes to dealing with stressful situations with my children; it’s not fool-proof, but I’d sooner sometimes say nothing for 10 seconds, take a deep breath and compose myself and my next words rather than blurting out something reactive which I often find makes the whole situation worse. I have done plenty of that and can fully attest that I prefer the alternative; word to the wise too, sometimes the silence is enough to stop the tantrum in its tracks. And I seriously learned that the hard way.
From childbirth to long-distance running to public speaking to parenting.
This. Works.
Forget those notions that relaxation can only be found in fancy spa break or 5* holiday; learning to control your breathing daily can be done anywhere, like a little daily gift to yourself — and all the humans you interact with.
Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor. ~Thích Nhất Hạnh
