Or: The Cost of Speaking Up
Or: How TV & Film Have Little Regard For Women & Their Bodies
Once upon a time not long ago, I was an actress. I was part of SAG, the “union” for actors, although it’s not really a union. Central Casting, one of the largest casting companies on either coast, hired me to work on Law & Order SVU. I received the call the night before and was told I would be a nightclub waitress wearing black shorts and a shirt. When I arrived on set the next day, I was surprised to find Hunter from Central Casting sitting at the table, checking everyone in. Usually that job is reserved for a PA — production assistant, who is a member of the film/tv show crew. After checking in, I headed over to hair, makeup, and wardrobe. At wardrobe, I was actually given underwear, and a very cropped top to wear.
Payment Breakdown Interlude: At this point I had been working on various tv shows and films for a little while now and I was very familiar with the industry standard rates of pay. There was the regular rate of pay all SAG members received, and then there were all the extras we could get as well. Did it rain on you while you were working outside? You get wet pay. Did they keep filming into your lunch break? You get meal penalties paid to you. Did they film overtime? If you’re lucky enough to be on set 16 hours straight, you hit golden time — a full day’s rate for each hour worked past 16 hours. Are you a nude body double? You get nudity rate. Are you exhibiting a learned skill such as dancing/biking/painting/etc? You get special ability rate. Are you wearing minidress/lingerie? You get a scantily clad rate.
Being the savvy human being that I am, I immediately recognized that this outfit qualified for the scantily clad rate. I looked around for a crew member, and came upon Hunter again. I asked him whether I would be getting the scantily clad rate. He said that it depends on what I’m wearing. I pointed to my outfit hanging up in wardrobe and explained what the outfit was. He then said, we were just trying to get girls who’d be okay with whatever we put them in. I was stunned, I really didn’t know how to respond to such an admission.
Every time I look back at those words, I think of how perfect a representation of the entertainment industry, and of how women are treated, those words and his attitude are. And how similar the parallel to an abusive boyfriend they are → as in, I’m going to do shitty things and I need you to not stand up for yourself, to just take it, and not ruin my selfish fun. I get to behave however I want to and you get to be the object that receives it without objection.
He then said, we were just trying to get girls who’d be okay with whatever we put them in.
Then he said he would check with Production and get back to me. I felt hopeful again. Next thing I knew, we were all being yelled at to get onto set immediately. This day was moving very quickly, which is actually unusual for a production. I have been on movies and shows where I have literally sat in holding for hours, not needed on set just yet. I quickly changed and ran to set. Once I got there, I saw a friend who was also working as a waitress along with some other women. We all had similar outfits, and when I asked my friend I found out she also knew she should be getting the scantily clad rate for our outfits, however she wasn’t sure as to the outcome. Unlike me, she was too hesitant to ask anyone for the appropriate rate. To me, I thought, it’s perfectly logical for us to ask — it couldn’t hurt, right?
I realized that I should try to get an answer before we started filming. I did not see Hunter anywhere, so I approached a Director’s Assistant and kindly asked him if the waitresses would be receiving the scantily clad rate. He pointed to the women on set who were on stage and said that those women over there were the ones who would be receiving that rate. I looked over and saw — they were wearing full skirts, not underwear like we were, and full tops, not midriff-baring tops like we were. I got excited and thought, oh okay, so logically we are wearing less than them, and Hunter said it depends on what we are wearing, so if they’re getting the higher rate than we must be too! I pointed out to the AD how we are wearing less than they are, and he told me he needs to go speak with production and he’ll get back to me. I thought great, I did a good thing and helped out the women who were too ‘shy’ to even ask.
After filming we were told to head back to holding. Once we got to holding we were told that we were wrapped for the day. Holding was packed with people moving around, it was a bit chaotic, and I didn’t see Hunter nor the AD I spoke with earlier anywhere. When we check out, we have to write our information on a form and a crew member reviews it, fills in the blanks, and signs off on it. At this point I thought, logically, it makes sense to get the higher rate since we actually fit the definition for it. I filled in the rate and handed my paper over to the crew member for verification, thinking if it was wrong he would correct it as they always do. He looked it over, saw that I was a waitress, filled in the blanks, and signed off on it. I had this knowing in my chest, thinking that Hunter and/or the AD spoke with Production, and Production told the crew ‘Hey these waitresses are scantily clad so give them the rate.’ So here it was, I asked a question and I received my answer - I did the right thing and got the rate!
A couple of days later I received a heart-stopping email from Central Casting:
Your employment with Central Casting has been terminated effective [some date].
Central Casting is an at will employer and as such the employment relationship may be terminated at any time, for any reason or no reason, without cause and without notice, by either the employee or Central Casting.
As a result of your terminated employment with Central Casting, we are unable to book you on any of our shows indefinitely and you are unable to reregister at any time in the future.
We do not have an appeals process for terminations and we ask that you do not contact Central Casting’s casting directors with regard to your termination. This decision is final.
I was completely mind boggled. What had I done to warrant this? In my head I ran the tape back of everything that had recently happened on set and in connection with this company, imagining all sorts of scenarios! I was stunned and shocked. I called a friend who had been in the industry for a while and was quite knowledgeable, and I told him what had happened. He said he had heard of a few people being blacklisted, however they would receive a warning first. He was surprised I had no warning and no reasoning behind the decision.
After some digging, phone calls to SAG, and several weeks, I finally was able to look into my file at Central Casting. There was not much written there, but there was one blazing sign — Hunter’s name was in my file as the one who initiated my blacklisting. With a note that said something like “never again”. What kind of ego did I hit that day? That I had had the ‘audacity’ to ask for appropriate compensation? In an industry where women are sexualized and the motto is “sex sells”, how dare those women ask for a small piece of the pie that’s making millions for others?
Months of going back and forth with SAG led nowhere. They eventually told me their internal attorneys could not handle something like this and I should get an outside attorney. Let’s face it — I didn’t have the time, energy, money, or desire to pursue a lawsuit. I was hoping this could be amicably resolved, it was all a misunderstanding. I’m a good, hard-working person who just wants work on set, I wasn’t trying to cause any problems. Why is it so hard to tell the casting company hey, maybe there should be an independent review of this sudden firing. Or maybe there should be a standard rule that someone should receive at least one warning first before they are fired, to ensure unchecked egos and politics are not involved. Why is there zero appeals process for a company that has a stronghold on all of the biggest shows in the industry? Hey, don’t mislead women and hire them to wear normal clothes then surprise them on set with lingerie without appropriately compensating them. Then fire them for asking for appropriate compensation. But first lie to them and tell them you’ll ask production. And lie by saying compensation depends on what you are wearing — because clearly it did not.
Honestly though, I am not sure how much this was an issue SAG even really wanted to deal with. At one point in time I spoke to someone at SAG who informed me that a nudity rate is not officially in the SAG contract. He told me that wet pay is in the contract because if you get your suit/coat wet then you would need to pay for dry cleaning, however nudity is something people enjoy so it’s not in the contract. Again, I found myself stunned at the words I was hearing coming out of another human’s mouth and directed at me. That sentence is so logically flawed I can’t even understand how it can live inside someone’s head, let alone be a guiding principle for an industry as big as Hollywood and for the main guild that represents actors. I mean, since when did liking what you do mean you should not get paid for it? Secondly, who likes the nudity? Are you saying women love getting nude on camera so you shouldn’t pay them? Or are you saying the industry loves watching nudity on camera and the industry gets paid well for it, but the women getting nude shouldn’t? What if someone enjoys acting — should they work for free then? And you’re telling me that the official SAG contract spent more time considering dry cleaning and wet clothes than they did women’s bodies? (P.S. — although the scantily clad and other forms of nudity rates may not officially be in the contract, it was definitely standard practice in the industry at that time to pay several tiers of rates for those various elements). At the end of the day, big name celebrities don’t have to worry about these contracts and the guild, because they negotiate their own contracts with blockbuster films and get paid millions for their work. These contracts affect the people with less power who barely have a voice in the industry. The people who are showing their skin on camera as body doubles for those celebrities, or as featured waitresses in the clubs standing next to those celebrities. We may be standing next to them on camera but there is a world of difference between how we are treated, that’s for sure.
In fact to highlight that world of difference I’ll tell another story here. One time I was on set filming some movie with Margot Robbie. It is imprinted in my mind this moment when I heard a PA speak into their walkie talkie with a sense of urgency that she [Margot] wanted ice cream. Next thing I knew there was a flurry of activity, and multiple crew members were rushing around, yelling back and forth to each other, coordinating obtaining ice cream for her. At first I thought I misunderstood what was going on because of the sense of urgency and importance, but later it became clear to me that she was receiving her celebrity treatment by the crew. Meanwhile, I have seen crew send people who are working as ‘background’ aka ‘extras’ to stand out in the hot sun for hours on end, sometimes without sunscreen, oftentimes without enough breaks. I have seen ‘background’ people being treated as props — go stand there, go do this, go try this precarious position in this precarious weather, don’t complain, don’t have feelings or opinions about what I am asking you to say or do. Hey I get it, filming is hard, we want the day to run smoothly, we have scripts and important lines and shots to get through. If we could just take 1% of how that crew treated Margot and donate it to how they treat everyone else, I think we’d all be golden.
He told me that wet pay is in the contract because if you get your suit/coat wet then you would need to pay for dry cleaning, however nudity is something people enjoy so it’s not in the contract.
During that day on set, I had become friends with another woman. She was new to the scene and I was worried she was being taken advantage of by someone who helped her get on set that day, so I told her how I was able to get involved in this work. We exchanged information and stayed in touch. I later talked to her about what happened that day, and found out from her that after the crew wrapped everyone from set, they asked a few people, including her, to stay behind. They had her pretend to perform a sexual act on another actor, and they had her remove her top as well. I knew in my gut that day that something was funny when I saw the casting person checking people in, which is unusual, and then when they bait and switched me with the attire, and then the lying about checking my rate. They really were just trying to get away with whatever they could that day. It makes me sick to know there are people like that in the industry.
Let me just pause right here to preemptively address misguided comments that I have seen before in response to this. “You didn’t have to wear that!”, “She wasn’t *forced* to do that!”, “If you don’t like it, leave!” Great, I said it for you. Happy now? These remarks totally miss the point - I like working on set. I love TV & Film. Learning all the industry terms, being on movie sets, playing a featured role, I enjoyed it. My issue wasn’t with the actual clothes themselves, it was with the fact that I was neither properly informed of the kind of attire I would be wearing, nor was I properly compensated for the kind of attire I was wearing. There’s a difference there. Hey I’m flexible if you want to change things last minute with me, but compensate me accordingly and ask me if I’m okay with it. Yes, I could have walked off set. I could have put up a fuss and told them ‘I’m not wearing that.’ I thought my approach was calm and logical, just ask for the appropriate rate. Who’s to say any of those other actions would not have resulted in the same ending that this story has? This is not about me and how I handled this situation, it’s about the people in power and how they misused their authority. Focus on the bigger issue here. The issue is with how they were specifically looking for ‘girls who’d be okay with whatever’ aka they intentionally created a situation in which they took advantage of women. But if you didn’t get the point so far out of this story, then maybe you won’t get it here in this paragraph either so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what can I say except please keep deflecting and invalidating comments to yourself.
In hindsight I now realize why the other waitresses did not speak up. They were not ‘shy’, they were afraid. They were afraid of the ramifications of speaking up. They had already learned the lesson that sometimes when you try to do the right thing, sometimes when you try to stand up for yourself or for others, you are shot down. Hard. I don’t blame them at all, and I also often find myself compelled to stand up for the right thing.
Once on subway train in NYC I saw a girl get separated from her parents. As the doors closed between them, the parents frantically pounded the window while the train took off. The girl kept trying to call her parents on her phone, and I immediately knew from the way she was behaving that she was not from here. The train was crowded, I was standing further away from her and watching, thinking someone closer to her would help her. Everyone looked away, disinterested, staring into the abyss of their phones, books, newspapers, and daydreams. Then I saw a couple of men eyeing her, and I got that instinctual creepy feeling about the one moving towards her, beginning to talk to her. My emergency mode kicked in and I knew I had to intervene. We were approaching the next stop so I went over to her and talked to her, had her come with me. We got off at the next stop and I could see in creepy man’s eyes, who also got off at that stop, he was looking ‘hopefully’ and ‘wistfully’ in our direction. I took her upstairs to the NYPD office. I guess the shock wore off and reality finally set in because she started crying. The officers were super helpful and her parents quickly arrived to pick her up. Protect our girls. From creepy men eyeing them on the street, to creepy men asking them to be okay with getting paid less than they should. Protect women.
Can you imagine what the outcome may have been, had ten people stood up for us? Twenty? What if twenty people on set all said, ‘yea they should be getting the appropriate rate, you know that.’ Or. Now hear me out. What if just one person stood up for us. What if just one person in a position of authority in this context said, ‘Oh yea, you should be compensated appropriately. Give the waitresses the higher rate.’ Honestly, I hope to one day be in that position. In a position of authority where I can do the right thing and make a difference. Until then, I will keep sharing my stories and keep helping and inspiring others from where I am. 💗
I mean, what if, instead of forming a million women’s groups within companies across the US, and in other countries where the women are told we need to act more like men in order to get raises and promotions, where women are told that we are being bypassed because we let ourselves be bypassed and we need to ‘get out of our own way’, what if instead just the few people in power — what if the CEO’s said ‘hey, let’s take firm and direct action to correct the compensation and titling inequalities.’ ‘Hey, I want a comprehensive salary and title report, and then I am going to publish it.’ Because the embarrassment will be worth the change. Because women have been waiting and fighting for centuries too long for their freedoms, and every excuse that allows it to continue, but is masked in a disguise of pretending to work towards a solution, is really just a re-shuffling of the deck. Because maybe we should just fix the salaries now, without anymore excuses. Maybe we should promote all the women who have been unreasonably passed over for years, and decades even, now. Not later after some arbitrary amount of time has passed to appease the people who are uncomfortable with this ‘sudden’ change — the ones who are a part of the problem anyways. Imagine that.
In conclusion, this matter actually never was ‘resolved.’ It was the universe redirecting me towards a rewarding career in programming 👩💻.. and who knows what else is in store for me 😎? I did enjoy my time working on set though, in fact I do even miss it sometimes — there were many amazing, exciting moments, and I met some awesome people. I truly loved performing on camera, and I loved being on the set of so many different shows and movies, it was a surreal experience. I cherish the memories I have from my various pursuits. For some time after this experience, I did think twice about speaking up when I was faced with other challenging situations. However, there is a strong belief in the core of my being that we need to speak up for and stand up for what is right, and so I continue to steer myself in the direction of my truth and light. I do think the very close relationship between the guild, casting, and the tv & film companies is problematic; and the treatment of women is problematic, as we have witnessed in the many of Hollywood’s dirty secrets exploding in recent years. There are more untold dirty secrets, but that’s another story for another time.
“Only kindness matters in the end”
