Liz Smith and Deborah Hart Yemm thank you for your reply! Love that we are having a discussion about this and that we are opened to accepting another view :) Thank you. I’ve read through your responses and I must say that I am also not in a quite so traditional masculine/feminine dynamic with my partner. I think that we are used to read between the lines of writing and interpret things in a way that we see fit. My man also does chores around the house, lets me lead in certain aspects of life and business and I make my own decisions. I would never want to be in a relationship with a man with whom I do not feel free as a woman and as a human being. That’s not what I’m talking about in my post (or at least that was not my intention.)
I think the misunderstanding mostly comes from what we consider femininity and masculinity and the study of polarities and these dynamics. Deborah Hart Yemm you say that being outdoorsy is not very feminine. Who said that? In my understanding of the feminine and my studies around it — being outdoors and connected to nature is one of the main feminine traits. Nature is chaos, unpredictability; nature is life. So is the feminine. Now, in nature there are masculine and feminine dynamics too. For example, a mountain is traditionally associated with a masculine energy because it is stable, secure and unshakable (although, it sometimes is just like the masculine:) Water and the ocean is associated with the feminine because of its cyclical and fluid nature. So it really all depends on our own conceptions and views on what masculine and feminine is.
Liz Smith I see your point and I agree that we live in a world where objectification and expectations towards women to play their traditional roles is highly present. I do not agree with these expectations nor do I support objectifications. I’ve also been hurt emotionally and physically by men when growing up and into my adulthood. My mother passed away when I was 8 so I didn’t even know what relationships really are. I also didn’t trust men. I also saw how badly they were treating their women. I constantly heard “men are pigs,” “men are assholes,” “men don’t deserve us.” And truth be told, it was true in the reality I grew up in and my level of consciousness at that point.
But throughout my work and study of relationships and men as well as escaping the reality of “shitty” men I realize that is not the case. The world is full of great men. Trustworthy men. Men of honor and value who treat their women with respect, value their opinion and know our worth. Men who have worked on themselves and their masculinity, men who are mature enough to understand the value of a woman by their side and the value of creating a family and leaving a legacy. Of course, the world is also full of men of low value — the men you are describing in your response. I just choose to focus on the good ones, thus attracting good ones and seeing less and less of their evil. Since this fundamental shift in my mentality and attitude, the men I meet on the street, in taxis, cafes, business meetings and relationships are proving to be much better day by day. Maybe because I choose to focus on their goodness and not their failures. I don’t know, I’m sharing what works for me and has worked for many women I talked to.
So with this post I was trying to explain my view on this and the steps I took to transform my relationship with men. Trust is an important, vulnerable issue that needs to be worked on. The fact that someone has hurt us deeply does not have to affect all of our future relationships. It’s up to us to turn it around and start trusting people again. It is quite surprising how people can really support you if you let them. :)
I hope this gives a bit of clarity into my perspective on femininity/masculinity and explains a bit more my view point.
Again, I really appreciate that we are having this discussion❤