The Life and Times of a Dad: Katt Williams on Fatherhood
A Transcription, Annotation, and an Examination of The Pimp Chronicles Pt. 1
Introduction
Micah Sierra, or rather “Katt” Williams created a stand-up special called The Pimp Chronicles Pt. 1. It was filmed in 2006 in Atlanta, Ga with guest appearances from Cam’ron, Lil’ Jon, Snoop Dogg, Andre 3000, Da Brat and Anthony Anderson to name a few. This was Katt’s second stand up special, following Let A Playa Play. Katt was given the role of Money Mike in the 2002 film the Friday After Next. This was one of the earliest instances of the “Pimp Katt.” Since that move, Katt would often play the role of a pimp, which is what he does in The Pimp Chronicles Pt. 1, and dress as one even more frequently. The synopsis of the special, courtesy of IMDb, is, “In-demand comedian Katt Williams offers up The Pimp Chronicles courtesy of HBO. Williams shares his thoughts on such topics as drugs, politics and pop culture in this special event.”
Katt has never been covert about his marijuana usage, and his pop culture experiences are self-explanatory. But, where did his interest in politics come from? Katt was raised in a very politically charged home. His father was a member of the Black Panther Party. The Black Panther Party was a revolutionary black nationalist and socialist reform organization that reined from 1966 until 1982. It has been speculated that his parents’ teachings may have been what caused him to briefly join the Nation of Islam later on in his life while living in the Bay Area. The Black Panther Party has been known to have ties with the Nation of Islam, a black supremacist and antisemitic group. Katt has very staunch beliefs of his own that provide a contrast to those of his families’ before him. During his special The Pimp Chronicles Pt. 1, Katt claims that, “ I don’t even give a shit about politics no more ‘cause I done figured it out.” He refers to the government as pimps and describes America as a successful bully. Katt has caught a little bit of heat and criticism for what has been labeled an anti-Mexican rant, and which some regard as a “pro-America” rant. Katt was playing a club in Phoenix and confronted a heckler who said “fuck America.” Katt was greatly angered by this comment and he insulted the man, who was of Mexican descent, for about seven minutes. When interviewed by CNN, Katt made it clear that he wasn’t offering an apology.
“I was a hero the entire time! Genius is often called crazy. But crazy is never called genius.” Katt made this remark to Ebony Magazine during his Scary Movie 5 interview. It seems that Katt thinks fairly highly of himself, and his fan base would wholeheartedly agree. In reference to The Pimp Chronicles Pt. 1, Katt has been referred to as a genius at his prime and the comedian of the decade. The crazy thing is — Katt isn’t merely bragging. It is said that he learned how to read at age 3, and he has been called something of a child prodigy. He won several academic awards in primary school and was set to attend the National Science Academy on a full scholarship. Rumor has it that Katt purposefully sabotaged himself by failing a math test. At age 13, Katt was emancipated and left his home in Dayton, Ohio. He was homeless for four years in Miami. He began performing in various venues at this time such as the: The Improv, The Comedy Club, The Icehouse and he had his own room at The Hollywood Park Casino. Somewhere in between homelessness and stardom Katt had a failed marriage that produced one child, a boy named Micah. Katt gained custody of his son and they began travelling together on tours. It has been said that Katt is a very committed and protective father. The woman, who has not been officially confirmed but is most likely named Quadirah Locus, later had seven other children who Katt would eventually adopt. Katt has said that, “I have eight children, seven adopted. When my son Micah was born, it changed my life. Every week when I’m able to clothe and feed my family, pay my staff and travel around the world solely on the strength of comedy, that is my greatest accomplishment.” Fatherhood has played a constant factor in Katt Williams life, whether in reference to the childhood challenges of growing up with a father who supported the Black Panther Party, becoming a single father at the age of 22, or adopting seven more children to raise. Can Katt William’s comedy skit give us more insight into the comedy star’s mentality surrounding this subject?
The Pimp Chronicles Pt. 1 Transcription
The scene opens to Katt Williams (KW) and Snoop Dogg (SD) conversing in a car.
KW: Doggfather.
SD: What it is, pimpin’?
KW: What’s going on, sir?
SD: Ain’t nothing to it but to do it, man. Sit back here blowin’ in the wind, at it again. Once again, time and time again.
KW: Yes, sir.
SD: But I wanted to talk to you, man, before you do your thing-thing this here evening. Man, I understand you doing something real big tonight. So before you do what you do, I want to give you some instructions.
KW: All right.
SD: Have that. All right. Now, the instructions is this, and I want you to pay close attention.
KW: Yes, sir.
SD: Before you step on stage tonight, you got to go up there with the spirit, with the spirit of the late, great Redd Foxx. The spirit of Richard Pryor.
KW: Yes, sir.
SD: The spirit of telling it like it is and not like it was. You dig? And only you can do what you do. That’s why you’re doing what you doing. And you’re doing it so flamboyant and so fly. And I’m watching from afar, but then again, I feel like I’m so near and I’m so close at the same time. And as I start to watch you and develop a keen sense of loving what you do and how you do what you’re doing, Katt, stay hard in the yard. Don’t play; put some paint where it ain’t. Don’t be nervous, be at their service. Give them what they want, give them want they need, man. I want you to fly to the moon, young man. I’ma go up to the stars, and I want you to meet me there. Yeah.
So I’ll holla at you.
Music playing
(man) Who we got in the house?
We got a few people in the house tonight.
We got Lil john in the house.
Niggas be late for they own funeral if they wasn’t dead.
We got sleepy brown in the house.
We got Cam’ron and the Dipset in the house.
Y’all take it easy, celebrities is people too.
Hey, Hey, Hey, It’s love motherfucker, love
We trying to tape for special people.
It’s television.
We got this drunk motherfucker in the house, Big will, in the house.
Just a regular day in Atlanta.
Birds are chirping.
Crackheads are smoking.
Dogs barking.
Nothins really happenin
For now.
Da brat is in the house.
Oh shit coming from the 60604
Do not have your cat spayed or neutered.
We got Andre 3000 in the house.
[cheering]
NIGGA SHUT UP. I KNOW WHO HERE!
When I introduce this man coming to the stage — ‘cause he’s the reason that we’re all here tonight — I want y’all to stand on your motherfucking feet, because if you sit down, you’re still gonna be taller than this little motherfucker.
[crowd laughing]
You see him every day on Wild ‘n Out.
[cheering]
Stand on your motherfucking feet and give it up for Katt Williams
[music plays]
[crowds cheers]
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen; how are you?
What a motherfucker pleasure to be here in Atlanta!
Goddamn, Atlanta, look at you motherfucker.
Goddamn it!
I don’t know what the — I — dig it — don’t know whether to cry or just get fucked UP, so I’m gonna do a combination of both a little bit later.
What a beautiful motherfucking place.
I want to thank all the hairstylists in Atlanta.
There’s 9 million of you motherfuckers.
Thank you.
One more of you bitches asks to do my goddamn hair, fuck NO.
Y’all fuck that.
It’s telling stupid shit to a nigga talking about naw nigga your hair retain heat.
Bitch, what the fuck?
I done had this hair all day, bitch; it ain’t burned me yet.
What the fuck is you talking about?
I don’t — ain’t nothing like Atlanta.
I don’t give a fuck what a nigga say, nothing like Atlanta.
There’s so many — goddamn!
There’s so many fine bitches in Atlanta, make a nigga have a nervous breakdown.
[speaks in tongues]
Please don’t get angry, ladies; I’m only calling you bitches ‘cause I don’t know your names individually.
Holla if you hear me now.
Let’s not get sensitive this evening.
Let’s not — life is too motherfucking short.
I’m happier than a motherfucker to be here.
Ain’t nothing like Atlanta.
You don’t know what the fuck you gonna get.
This is the most nastiest, dirtiest, ugliest, most beautiful, wonderful place in all of America.
You could get all your dreams to come true at magic city, or you could get killed at a stoplight.
Nigga, you never fucking know.
It can happen right here nigga.
You don’t know what to tell Jesus.
You just — Jesus, I don’t know them.
Nigga looked at me, I looked back; that was it, Jesus.
I’m here now.
Life is fucking short.
Stop being ungrateful about your motherfucking life.
You got to learn to be grateful.
If god done bless you with a Chrysler 300, be happy you got a Chrysler 300.
Stop walking around talking shit talking about, “Nigga I got it ‘cause it look just like a Phantom.”
No, nigga, it look like a Chrysler 300.
The fuck
The fucked up part is it do look like a Phantom until a Phantom pull up.
[laughter]
Then you just hitting that motherfucker.
This is bullshit I don’t even want to be on this street nigga.
I don’t even want — all I’m saying is, you got to be grateful about your motherfucking life.
Ladies, you need to understand that as long as you got a vagina, you run the entire motherfucking universe.
Many people have a hard time agreeing to this concept, but women are superior to men. We all know that a man is more likely to listen and do as a woman says than he is to listen to another man.
That’s the way it is.
You need to understand that.
The only niggas that don’t agree is homosexuals, and we wasn’t talking to y’all.
This ain’t your part of the show right now.
Ladies, I’m telling you, you got to be the shit to you.
Stop waiting on a nigga to verify whether you the shit or not.
Bitch, if you the shit, you the motherfucking shit.
We tired of y’all getting with us and blaming us for shit we ain’t even in control of.
You done got with us nigga; now you talking about, you fucked up my self-esteem.
Bitch, it’s called self-esteem.
IT’S ESTEEM OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SELF, BITCH.
How the fuck did I fuck up how you feel about you, simple bitch?
I’m just saying, ladies, stop tripping on shit that don’t even motherfucking matter.
Never in the history of niggadom has a nigga…
Never in the history of niggadom has a nigga been getting ready to have sex with a woman and changed his mind because her fingernails and toenails didn’t match.
Not never.
Not never.
Never has a nigga been putting a condom on and went, “bitch, is that plum and red? I can’t even do it, bitch. I’m out of here. I can’t even do it.”
Just saying, ladies, stop worrying about shit that don’t matter.
Some of y’all done had some babies.
Now you got some stretch marks.
You walking around the house bitter, blaming the baby, showing the baby your high school picture, talking about “look what you did to me!”
Fuck that if your man got a problem with your stretch marks, I suggest you stop fucking with bitch niggas.
That’s what I say.
That’s what I say.
I think I speak for all real niggas in attendance today when I say, we ain’t got time to worry about no shit like stretch marks.
We know they either came from one of two things.
Nigga either you was big and got small or you was small and got big.
Either way, we fucking
Either way.
Shit.
Ladies, on the other hand, if you 25 years old, and you still walking around talking about niggas ain’t shit, you need to get a handle on your motherfucking life and take some responsibility, bitch.
What you mean to say is, “All that niggas you fuck with ain’t shit.”
You need to figure out what it is about your pussy that keep attracting ain’t shit niggas.
It’s your own personal business.
I’m just saying life is short.
To my niggas, I know you got to be hard — a black man in America, you got to be a hard motherfucker.
But we all know niggas is hard all the motherfucking time.
You can’t forget to enjoy your goddamn life.
We all know niggas is hard at 7:00 in the motherfucking morning.
You like, “Nigga wait a minute, nigga, you angry at breakfast nigga? You gangbanging on bacon, nigga?”
This is — I know 50 cent done made it real cool to be shot.
Let me just say I’ve been shot before.
Ain’t shit cool about it.
When I got shot, ain’t no bitches come out, ain’t no music play, nothing.
The fucked part, when I got shot, I wasn’t even in the altercation.
I’m outside the club watching some other niggas look at these crazy niggas
Oh, shit, that nigga got a gun.
Nigga better get me good..
Bam!
Wait a minute, Jesus!
Pimp down!
PIMP 32
[breathes heavily]
This is bullshit
I done got blood in my perm nigga, I’m having a blackout.
I’m gonna black — [laughs]
All I’m saying: you got to enjoy your motherfucking life.
That’s all the fuck I’m saying.
Enjoy your goddamn life.
LIFE IS FUCKING SHORT.
Enjoy that shit.
Some of y’all just need to smoke some weed and see if it don’t help the quality of your motherfucking life.
I know; I see some of y’all.
Look, I understand.
If you ain’t smoking weed ‘cause you got a good job, then by all means, make your paper, boo boo.
But if you ain’t got no job, and you not smoking weed, I don’t know what the fuck you are doing with your life.
I really don’t.
I really don’t.
Don’t give me that shit about, “It’s a drug.”
It ain’t no motherfucking drug.
I done done the research.
It’s just a plant.
It just grow like that, and if you should happen to set it on fire, there are some effects.
But that’s not the same as drugs.
Drugs, you got to do shit to it chemically.
You got to add baking soda, water, stir it up — I don’t know the recipe, I’m just sayin.
There’s some shit you got to do to it.
But why the fuck it’s illegal, I don’t know.
Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherfuckers, it’ll be your last headache.
Long as you been living, you ain’t never heard of a motherfucker overdose on marijuana.
You might have thought that nigga was dead; He ain’t dead.
He gonna wake up in 30 minutes hungry enough to eat up everything in your house.
That’s the side effects: hungry, happy, sleepy.
That’s it.
Only testifying.
I’m just saying.
I’m just saying, if your life is fucked up, you need weed.
Weed is put on this earth for niggas on the struggle, niggas on the grind.
There is a chemical in weed that’s called fuck it.
And if you can just get that in your system, it could change your life.
Some of y’all be crying about bills you can’t pay, just — “I don’t know what I’m gonna do ‘bout this light bill.”
“They don’t want — they want the whole thing. They don’t want a piece of it, a deposit.”
Just hit the blunt one time and see if it don’t change your perception of what’s important in your life. You just — -
“I don’t know what I’m gonna do about this light bill.”
[inhales]
“Fuck them goddamn lights. I got 12 candles. I’ve been waiting to burn them bitches.”
Had to be careful, though.
Had to be careful, ‘cause weed is getting stronger every two weeks.
And these niggas ain’t sending out memos or bulletins or nothing.
The shit just strong for no reason, and these niggas that sell the weed be happier than a motherfucker to tell you how much stronger this shit is than the last shit
Just soon as they see you just — “nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga,”
“You remember that shit I gave you last week?”
“Nigga, it’s nothing.”
“Nigga, it’s nothing.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Nigga, nigga, it’s nothing.”
“This shit right here, nigga. This shit right here, nigga, right here, this shit, this shit here, nigga?”
Always have some fucked up name.
“It’s Crypto-chroni-cunni- light-nigga.”
Always have some fucked-up-ass name.
“Nigga this shit here, nigga, this shit here, nigga?”
“This shit is called dead nigga.”
You be like, “that don’t even sound attractive.”
“What the — you mean I’m gonna hit it and die? Nigga, is that what — ”
“No, nigga, not death, deaf. You hit this shit twice nigga, you can’t hear shit.”
[laughing]
Like, nigga I got shit to do today.
What the fuck?
Your kids be calling you all day.
“Daaaddddyyy!!”
Fucking around with them motherfuckers.
I’m used to smoking some weed and getting the munchies.
This nigga sold me some shit — Had me looking at the refrigerator for three hours.
I’m just in the kitchen sitting on the stove, just — “I bet you it ain’t shit in there. Nigga I bet you.”
All I’m saying is, you know the weed is too strong when you can’t do shit but hit it and look at it.
You just in your house, just — [inhales] “MM-MM, nigga Mm-mm, nigga something in there.”
“Nigga there’s something in there. Well, why is it sparkling, then? Why is it sparkling?”
Weed will help your motherfucking ass, though.
Weed — you have to be careful that you don’t smoke weed with dumb niggas, ‘cause weed make you smart.
Ain’t nothing worse than a smart dumb nigga.
There’s a nigga at your house smarter than a dumb motherfucker, just sitting there — [inhales]
“Okay, that’s the couch, right?”
[inhales]
“I can understand why they call it a couch. But this motherfucker here nigga, this shit right here nigga, this is a love seat, nigga. I can’t even sit on this if I ain’t in love, nigga. What kind of shit is that?”
“Nigga, if you don’t get out of my motherfucking house.”
You have to be careful.
Weed will make you notice shit you ain’t supposed to notice.
Like, I don’t even give a shit about politics no more ‘cause I done figured it out.
All of the government is pimps.
They all pimps, ‘cause pimps say shit to you and then don’t explain it.
That’s how our government do.
A pimp will have a woman in a car and be like, “Get out there and suck some dick we take over all of Stone Mountain.”
She don’t ask no questions.
She just — “I don’t know how it’s gonna work, but I’m gonna do my motherfucking part. I’m gone do what I’m suppose to do.”
That’s how the fuck our government treat us.
Just tell us shit that don’t make no sense.
What the fuck are we still doing in Iraq?
Can somebody tell me?
Ain’t we killed everybody?
That’s why I love America.
We some goddamn bullies.
We don’t give a shit!
We be on CNN like, “Say our name, bitch. Say it. Say it three times. See, we’re gonna come over there and kill everybody.”
You don’t believe we gangsters?
Tell me what the Iraqi uniform look like.
Don’t worry I’ll wait.
Cause you ain’t never seen that motherfucker.
We ain’t killing they army, nigga, We killing them.
We over there killing niggas in sweatpants, tank tops, flip-flops, and a cowboy hat.
You shouldn’t have been talking shit.
Our government pimps.
They get on the news, they act like we ain’t even over there killing real people.
They never get on the news and say, “Today we killed four men, three women, and two children.”
They use a word niggas can’t readily identify: “Today we killed a group of insurgents.”
Niggas, we at the house like, “I don’t even know no motherfucking insurgents. You can kill all them motherfuckers. I don’t have not one insurgent friend.”
Weed will help you notice shit like that, but you got to be careful with this super-strong weed, ‘cause you can’t do everything you regularly do.
It’s easy to get high; it is not easy to get un-high when your baby walk in the room.
Now you in the house cleaning up shit that don’t need to be cleaned.
Your baby be like, “I don’t even want nothing no more! Every time it smell like pinecones in here. Daddy be tripping.”
You got to be careful.
If you got kids, you gonna have to cut down on your weed consumption.
I don’t give a fuck what you say.
It’s cool to get high.
It is not cool to get high and eat up all your baby’s cereal.
That shit is not cool.
You wake up, your baby already in the kitchen crying, just: [sobs] “Thank god you woke up, daddy. You remember you done put the cocoa puffs on top of the frigerator, now they not even up there.”
Now you so embarrassed, you got to play it off with the nigga.
You: “They damn sure ain’t up here. Them motherfucking insurgents done some in our house and stole our…”
[laughs]
[Katt goes to get his rather large water cup]
Why the fuck they give me a cup bigger than me?
Nigga gonna climb out the cup.
Just saying you got to be careful.
Life is short.
Enjoy your motherfucking life; do whatever you can for your life to be the shit.
I don’t fuck with niggas that don’t keep it pushing.
You got to be fucking with niggas that doing better and better and better and better and better.
Stop with fucking with niggas that’s doing the same shit.
I don’t even go to niggas birthday parties if they doing the same shit they was doing last year.
Nigga no, been there, done that; see you, pimpin’.
All I’m saying is, if you been selling weed since 1994 and you ain’t bumped up to the cocaine by 2006, nigga.
Maybe you need to be a Jehovah’s witness or a real estate consultant.
We trying to get it pushin’ around here.
Life is too motherfucking short.
Just saying, live your motherfucking life.
You got to get your motherfucking hustle.
Understand nigga gonna hate you regardless.
Get that out of your head, that fantasy world where niggas ain’t hating on you.
You got to be grateful.
You need haters.
What the fuck is you complaining about?
What the fuck do you think a hater’s job is?
To fuck in hate, so let them motherfuckers do they goddamn job.
What the fuck is you complaining about?
Ladies, if you got 14 women hating on you, you need to figure out how the fuck to get to 16 before the summer get here.
What the fuck is you mad about?
Fellas, if you got 20 haters, you need 40 of them motherfuckers.
What is you complaining about?
If there’s any haters in here right now that don’t have nobody to hate on, feel free to hate on me.
Sit back there and say my hair ain’t luxurious when you know it is, bitch.
Dipset, dipset.
I’m enjoying my motherfucking life.
That’s all I’m saying.
I advise you to do the same.
Do shit that make you happy.
Go out and get you some white friends.
Get you some white motherfucking friends.
You ain’t got to sleep with them, but you gonna need them motherfuckers.
If you go to jail and call your nigga friends, these motherfuckers will interrogate you more than the goddamn police did.
They’ll have your ass on the phone: “Where the fuck was you at? What the fuck was you doing? Why the fuck you ain’t call me?”
Not your white friends.
Them motherfuckers will be there by the time you hang up the phone.
And they’ll be madder than you, just — “What the fuck did he do? Murder! Murdered who? Look, I’ve fucking known him for two weeks. He wouldn’t fucking do something like that!”
Got to love white people.
I don’t give a fuck what you say, white people are friendly.
You can call them motherfuckers up at 3: 00 in the morning with the wrong number, and they won’t even be mad at you.
They: [imitates ringing phone] “Hello. No, I’m sorry, no Shaquita here. Well, what number did you dial? No, it’s a nine, not a seven. Well, try it. If it doesn’t work, call me back. We’ll figure this thing out.”
Got to love white people.
It’s thanks to white people we know anything about wild animals.
Do you realize that?
Niggas have never in the history of niggadom discovered a wild animal.
Not one.
Not a wild pit bull, nothing, ‘cause we too cautious.
Niggas don’t discover shit.
We don’t get close enough to discover.
Niggas take no chances.
Just, “Wait, nigga, is that a Rottweiler or a bear? Nigga, go, go, no, go, fuck that, okay, go.”
White people, though — let me say this.
Y’all need some nigga friends.
Get you some nigga friends.
Just don’t ever, ever call them your nigga friends.
Don’t ever — that’ll fuck the relationship up.
“There’s my nigga friend. You guys say it all the time. What?”
White people, you need your nigga friends so they can tell you when shit is not appropriate.
First of all, white people, please stop putting them little blue leashes on your children.
Please?
Stop doing that.
That is only entertainment for the niggas.
That’s all that is.
We be excited as a motherfucker
Look at them. Look.
[Katt impersonates a leashed child getting jerked by the leash]
[laughs]
That’s why white kids grow up and kill everybody in the goddamn school, ‘cause you done treated them like a German Shepard ever since they was three.
They be in the store like, “ Oooo I want…”
Look at niggas laughing like we know what the fuck to do with our kids.
We don’t know what the fuck to do with our kids neither.
Look, I know all comics come on stage and say, “You need to beat your kids,” but as a father, let me just say publicly, maybe we should stop beating our kids…. publicly.
We are tired of going to the grocery store to see you beat your motherfucking babies.
Maybe your baby ain’t bad, bitch; maybe youse a bad mother.
Did you ever think of that, you retarded motherfucker?
That is a toddler.
Your baby’s supposed to like skittles, you ignorant bitch.
Soon as your baby touch the skittles you like:
[Katt beats invisible child on the ground]
“What the fuck I tell you. What did I say in the car bitch? What did I…”
White people be like “You can’t do that!”
“Bitch you’re next.”
Got to love white people.
Got to fucking love them.
But white people your nigga friends — They can help you.
Where my Spanish people at?
Where the Spanish people?
We ought to thank all 17 of y’all for coming.
We appreciate that.
I know most of you motherfuckers roll together.
Y’all motherfuckers are efficient.
You ever seen them come to a club?
There be 39 of them motherfuckers in the same car, just — like, bitch, that is a Ford Focus.
How many motherfuckers is in there?
But you need your Spanish friends.
Don’t nobody party like them motherfuckers.
Nobody in the world party like them motherfuckers, ‘cause they don’t need shit that niggas need.
They don’t need invitations or streamers or balloons or nothing.
Them motherfuckers only need a front yard and some motherfucking Corona and them motherfuckers party.
Niggas can’t even go to they parties, ‘cause they don’t never end.
Fuck you have a party last 3 1/2 motherfucking months.
Just got niggas in there hostage, just — “I want to go home nigga this is bullshit.”
Spanish people, you got to get you some nigga friends too so they can tell you when shit is not appropriate.
We are tired of going to the Laundromat to see you in there.
Your baby girl is all of seven years old.
This bitch has on a wedding dress and soccer shoes.
Where the fuck is she going?
Is she marrying bleach?
This bitch —
All I’m saying, Spanish people, is, if you are pushing a stroller through the mall and your child’s feet can touch the ground out the stroller, let little Esse walk then.
This motherfucker 13 goddamn years old with a cigarette and a sidekick.
“Push it faster Esse!”
All I’m saying is, life is too short for racism.
We all got motherfucking problems.
But we can learn.
We can learn.
Just niggas just fuck that.
Just don’t try to do everything with your white friends.
Don’t get drunk with your white friends.
Can’t do it.
Can’t fucking do it.
They don’t drink like niggas
Niggas we are very consistent.
If a nigga drink Hennessey, that’s what the fuck that nigga drink.
That’s what he drink: Hennessey.
You ain’t got to keep asking him.
That’s what he drink on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, his birthday, Jesus’ birthday: Hennessey.
If they don’t have Hennessey, he will take Rémy as a backup.
That’s as far as it goes.
White people don’t care what they drink.
All they care about is what they said when they was leaving the house.
“Tonight we’re getting fucked up!”
That’s all the fuck they care about.
Them motherfuckers you got to be careful niggas, ‘cause they tricky.
White people like to buy the drink.
As a nigga, we are not prepared to turn down a free goddamn drink.
We don’t give a fuck what it is.
Like, “This is unleaded? That’s spicier than a motherfucking nigga I like that.”
I had to find out the hard way.
I’m drinking with some white people.
They’re buying me these goddamn drinks.
The shit was delicious.
It was called Sambuca, and I should have known.
That don’t even sound like no shit a nigga should be drinking any goddamn Way.
Sound like one of my African cousins or some shit
But the shit was delicious, but it was coffee and alcohol together.
I was knocking them bitches back.
It wasn’t till I got fucked up that I realized…
Maybe this is not the right combination of shit for a nigga to be fucked up on, ‘cause now I’m fucked up.
I’m at the house, and nigga is fucked up, but I can’t pass out.
I’m just in the house, “Like nigga I am fucked up. No, I’m cool, nigga, I’m cool, nigga, I’m cool. fuck that. Get the day started.”
We gotta to start having fun like white people have fun, though.
We be thinking white people can’t dance.
White people be too fucked up to dance.
That’s how niggas used to do.
Remember we used to go to the club and have fun and shit?
Niggas used to go and have fun?
We can’t have fun now.
Niggas just in the club watching other niggas, just waiting on some shit to pop off.
Get real high and go to the club next time, ‘cause that fucker in your system will help you out.
Just go in the club and make up your own motherfucking dance and see how much fun your goddamn ass have while motherfuckers watching you.
[Boisterous music starts]
Yeah, like when that song come on, just walk in the club.
Get real high and walk in and make up your own dance,
Just — I’m just saying have some fun in your life.
Life is short.
[cheering]
[Lil John comes on to the stage]
Can I do it one time for the folk?
One time for the folk.
Can I get a yea-ah?
(audience) YEA-AH!
Can I get a yea-ah?
(audience) YEA-AH!
Can I get a what?
(audience) WHAT?
Can I get a what?
(audience) WHAT!
Well, let me get an okay!
(audience) OKAY!
ATL ho!
You got to go in a jam listening to that nigga music.
That nigga music gets you fucked up.
Be in a room full of strangers talking about, “Fuck them niggas on the south side. Nigga where’s my compass? Where’s my compass? I thought…”
[Katt laughs]
Just saying you got to enjoy your motherfucking life.
Life is too fucking short for bullshit
I’m in Hollywood now.
I’m finding out most of the shit I thought was real ain’t even real.
I met DMX nine months ago.
This nigga is two inches taller than me.
I don’t know why the fuck I thought that nigga was 6'12" or something.
That nigga is my size.
Yeah, he really talks like that.
We in the restaurant, he: “Hell, bitch! Can I get some water and some lemon?”
“Nigga why are you hollering? We in a restaurant, nigga”
You know that nigga wasn’t shit in school, couldn’t cheat at all.
Just, “Hell, bitch what’s the answer to number 7?” [barking]
“Nigga you need to be in the special class. What the fuck is?”
I met Omarion.
This nigga is the king of dancing for a motherfucking reason.
‘Cause all while you trying to talk to this simple motherfucker, he is practicing his goddamn dance moves.
I’m trying to have a conversation, and this nigga — “Oh touch.”
“Touch what, nigga? This is — “
I met Shaquille O’Neal.
I was so motherfucking happy to meet that nigga.
Then I find out I can’t be this nigga’s friend in public, ‘cause he just too motherfucking tall.
How the fuck that look, I’m trying to congratulate you on a good game, and you got your dick all on my forehead region.
This is bullshit nigga.
At least if you in the ATL and niggas are doing drugs in that ATL, niggas at least excuse his self.
Go to the bathroom or some shit!
Niggas in Hollywood just do the drugs right in front of you and act like ain’t shit happened.
You in the middle of a goddamn meeting, they, “Yeah, so what we’re gonna do is, we’re gonna do the movie with you — snorts — and we gonna go back …”
“Nigga did you know that I can see you? Nigga you right there. It’s on your nose. Nigga what?”
All fuckers be gay in Hollywood, you never fucking expect it.
They be having these big-ass mansion parties.
In the mansion party, the whole mansion is a party, and then it’s a separate party in the little rooms.
I ain’t been famous that goddamn long.
I’m excited than a motherfucker to be at the mansion party.
You be looking at all the goddamn rooms, and you fuck around and look in the wrong room and shit.
“Nigga come here. Come here. Is that two niggas kissing? Is one of them niggas Professor Oglevee? He came out the closet. He came out the closet. Oh my god!”
Shut the goddamn door.
All I’m saying is, our country is in turmoil right now.
Real niggas versus bitch niggas.
And bitch niggas is getting stronger than a motherfucker.
These motherfuckers got power and shit.
Understand that the game ain’t the same.
Martha Stewart and Lil Kim both had to go to prison, to prison.
Now, let’s look at the crime.
Fuck them, look at the crime.
Martha Stewart, this was her crime: The bitch had her money in an account.
A motherfucker came up to her and was like, “Psst, Psst. Martha, if you don’t move your money bitch. It’s gonna be gone.”
And she moved her motherfucking money.
Now, maybe in a white family’s household, this is a felony, but to niggas this is a motherfucking hookup.
And if niggas is going to jail over a hookup. Lil Kim went to jail for not snitching.
Give you that one more again: Not snitching, for doing what your mama told you to do.
Didn’t your mama ever say, “Stop tattle telling all the motherfucking time, Lil — ain’t nobody like a tattletale.”
That’s what the fuck she went to prison for.
Meanwhile Michael Jackson is freer than a motherfucker smelling like little boy’s booty holes and I’m supposed to be excited.
Fuck Michael.
I know, I’m supposed to be happy ‘cause he used to be black.
I know, I know.
I remember.
Fuck that.
Michael forgot he was a nigga.
He forgot he was a nigga.
He forgot he was a nigga.
That it was us supporting him.
When he had that big-ass, greasy-ass, bell pepper-ass nose, that was us.
Then the motherfucker want to get white, and we kept giving him chances, and shit with the vitiligo shit.
You know that ain’t no real goddamn shit.
What nigga you know called vitiligo?
It’d be a line as big as a motherfucker to catch vitiligo.
You mean I can get my credit rating up to 720 by catching this shit?
Fuck Michael.
Fuck him, fuck him.
I don’t give a fuck how good you can sing and dance.
I got babies, you nasty motherfucker.
You can’t play with little boy’s booty holes.
And some of y’all looking at me, like, “I can’t believe you saying that. It’s a setup.”
Fuck a set up don’t nobody say the same shit about you for 20 goddamn years.
What the fuck is you talking about?
If a motherfucker call you a crackhead for 20 Years, bitch, you are smoking crack.
Whitney done smoked her kneecaps off, and we still talk about “uh-uh!”
Fuck Michael.
He spent his whole life trying to be a white woman, his whole motherfucking life.
Then as soon as the nigga get in trouble, now he want to be surrounded by Muslims and shit.
Michael, you ain’t no motherfucking Muslim.
You can’t even be a Muslim.
You got a white woman pork face.
How you gonna be a Muslim?
Half your face is pork, Michael.
Fuck Michael.
Gonna get on TV and lie to us and tell us shit don’t make no fucking sense.
This nigga climbing up in trees and shit talking about, “Don’t you climb trees?”
No, motherfucker we got bills and shit.
Take your Peter Pan ass and make some peanut butter or some shit
Fuck Michael.
Telling niggas that done paid good money for him, telling us shit that don’t make no goddamn sense.
Talking about he put his nigga dick in a white woman and came out with two babies that ain’t mixed.
Who the fuck do you think you talking to, nigga?
I’m a grown motherfucking man.
You put a nigga dick in a white woman and got two blond, blue-eyed babies?
Nigga, fuck you.
Fuck you.
One of them baby’s name is Blanket.
You can’t name no nigga baby “Blanket.” You can’t name a nigga baby nothing soft. Not blanket, quilt, comforter, none of that shit.
Fuck Michael.
We know what the fuck Michael doing.
We been knowing how Michael was.
If you don’t believe me, tell me, when’s the last time Michael was in a relationship that you believed?
Don’t worry; I’ll wait.
When was the last time you was like, “Michael is fucking the shit out of that bitch!”
Not never.
That motherfucker showing up to press conferences.
He got Emmanuel Lewis sitting on his motherfucking lap, and we like, “oh, that’s cute,” forgetting the fact that Emmanuel Lewis was 26 motherfucking years old at the goddamn time.
Fuck that nigga.
He just on the balcony, picking little boys … just “I like him.”
Michael can’t fucking lie to me. I’m a grown motherfucking man.
I love bitches. That’s my shit.
I love bitches.
So if you go to my house and search shit at my house, that ain’t for me; it’s for bitches.
I got a regular bed with regular pillows, and I got two pillows with a silk cover on it.
That’s not for me.
That’s incase bitches want to come over there, and they don’t feel like wrapping their goddamn hair up.
They ain’t got to fuck up their perm fucking with a nigga, ‘cause I love bitches.
That’s my shit.
If you go to my house, there’s Alizé at my house.
I don’t drink no motherfucking Alizé, but bitches do.
And when they come over there, I want them to feel comfortable.
Now, what the fuck would Michael need at his house if he was trying to make little boys feel comfortable?
I don’t know; a goddamn amusement park?
Some motherfucking animals?
Some video games?
Some free candy?
You notice, all the kids on trial was the same.
They was all either sick or slow or used to have cancer or couldn’t speak English good.
You notice there wasn’t no little nigga kids on trial.
You noticed that, did you?
You know why?
‘Cause it’s hard to fuck a nigga child.
That’s why.
I could take my son to Neverland Ranch right now.
I’ll bet you Michael can’t fuck him.
My son’ll be sitting in the driveway, like, “Uh-uh, Mr. Jackson. I thought we was going to Lil’ Bow Wow’s house. I’m gonna call my daddy. You fixing to get it. You fixing to get it.”
Y’all been all that.
I appreciate your time.
God bless you.
“I have eight children, seven adopted. When my son Micah was born, it changed my life. Every week when I’m able to clothe and feed my family, pay my staff and travel around the world solely on the strength of comedy, that is my greatest accomplishment.”
— Katt Williams
Conclusion
Even through the veil of comedy, Katt Williams appears to be a reasonable, well-spoken man. “I continue to be surprised whenever I hear there’s another incident,” says Raboy. “He has a brilliant mind, and it is a blessing and a curse. If it’s not working 100 percent for you, then it’s working 100 percent against you.” Marcus Raboy directed the movie, Friday After Next, that solidified Katt’s pimp look. Those who know Katt personally also agree that he is agreeable. Everyone was shocked when the trouble with the law began. In November of 2006, Katt was arrested at the Los International Angeles airport for felony possession of a loaded and concealed weapon. After being searched at a security checkpoint three more guns were found that police insist may have been stolen. He received three years of probation for this offense. In November of 2008, Katt was once again arrested on gun charges. At his next show he announced his retirement, although it wouldn’t stick. Very shortly after, Katt was reportedly trying to check into a hotel while wearing only a bathrobe. Katt’s family had him committed. He underwent several psychiatric evaluations with undisclosed results. In December 2012, celebrity blogger Necole Bitchie posted an anonymous e-mail from “someone claiming to be a former friend of Katt Williams.” The e-mail said during his involuntary commitment in 2008, Williams was diagnosed as “bipolar/schizophrenic” and was going untreated. There would be several more gun violations over the next few years, and at least one case of being charged for ‘intimidating a witness.’
During another gun violation related incident in December of 2012, Katt’s children were placed in protective custody because of a suspicion of child endangerment. Police raided Katt’s home and found “numerous guns and illegal drugs.” When questioned about the incident Katt stated that if his locked gun boxes were opened you would always find guns in them. Katt also stated that there were no illegal drugs there. There was only marijuana, and that doesn’t qualify as a drug according to the Katt Williams’ definition. A drug, “you got to do shit to it chemically. You got to add baking soda, water, stir it up — I don’t know the recipe, I’m just sayin’.” As a counter to all of the questioning being aimed at Katt, he posed a very interesting question to the world. How do you keep kids safe without guns?
“If you ain’t smoking weed ‘cause you got a good job, then by all means, make your paper, boo boo. But if you ain’t got no job, and you not smoking weed, I don’t know what the fuck you are doing with your life.” Katt has always been a huge proponent for the legalization of marijuana. He has said that there are two types of pot smokers: regular and professional. Katt prefers regular smoking which can be seen during the intro with Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg is portrayed as a professional smoker here and within a very short amount of time Katt is higher than he has ever been in his life. He reminds the crowd that “if you got kids, you gonna have to cut down on your weed consumption…It’s cool to get high. It is not cool to get high and eat up all your baby’s cereal.” He may support the legalization and partaking of marijuana, but he still realizes and asserts that his kids must come first.
Katt discusses the difference in parenting styles between Caucasians and African Americans. “First of all, white people, please stop putting them little blue leashes on your children.” He stresses that children should not be treated like dogs. But, he acknowledges that it is not only Caucasian parents that make mistakes parenting. “We don’t know what the fuck to do with our kids neither…as a father, let me just say publicly, maybe we should stop beating our kids publicly.” He proposes that perhaps African American parents can be a little hard on their kids sometimes. Katt reminds the audience that kids will be kids and that is alright. “Your baby’s supposed to like skittles, you ignorant bitch.”
Katt Williams utilizes his career as a comedian to improve upon himself and others as parents. By keeping the tone light with jokes, he is better able to press upon people the importance of parenting and the differences in parenting styles. He has his struggles, just like any parent, to find a balance between pimp Katt and dad Katt.
Sources: Refer to comments on the right
