Sacrificing Happiness for Happiness

I’ve had a realization today that I want to share with you in hopes that for some of you it may bring comfort or light to a similar situation.

In my life, so far, of 27 years I have yet to understand myself. I started a health coaching business a couple years ago called Learning Happiness because I wanted to teach happiness. That business has now evolved into HappiHaven Group Fitness & Wellness as a way to inspire happiness in as many ways as possible. I am sure you have heard the saying, you teach what you want to learn. In this life so far I’ve sought out a greater happiness in hope to finding a true understanding to what it means & takes to be happy.

Through the adventure of starting my own business and going against the grain of a 9–5 comfort life, I have brought a lot of suffering onto myself. The continual confusion of ‘what the hell are you doing’ from my husband has been one aspect that has been difficult. (Need to mention here he has been fully supportive of me figuring this out.. he’s just wondering how long its going to take.) The other sufferings deal with money, time, fitting in or fitting out, learning who I am and what my values are and…learning how to be happy. If you ask you shall receive. I started an exploration for ultimate happiness and in order to receive this I am learning I must fully understand what is happy, but more so what’s not happy.

The feeling of not fitting in or being different has come and gone for me throughout my life. Just recently, feeling some despair, I wondered if I would ever come to terms with who I am. I have felt anger and jealousy that I couldn’t just be like everyone else who accepted work as their main priority in life and didn’t have to spend time toiling inside their head on what’s right and wrong with the world — just accepting it as it is. I still feel this jealousy.

The thought that occured to me today that I realized makes me different than some is that for many they are willing to sacrfice their happiness for something else. Often I think that something else is security — not having to take risk, supporting themself with a stable income and not having to ponder the unknown. I’ve realized that I haven’t ever wanted to give up my happiness for any of that. But because of that, I’ve, too, sacrificed my happiness and here is how…

When I saw that I was different than those that plug into the system I compared myself and they won. I felt weird and wrong. Why can’t I just conform and let myself be happy? Well, I am learning and realizing that I can still be happy (and happier) by continuing to be different, but I have to be confident in myself and my beliefs and stop comparing.

Following my heart versus my mind is something I fight often. My mind tells me to be like everyone else. My heart tells me to stop worrying about money or what everyone else it doing and simply put my happiness at top priority by having family time, friends time, God time, adventure and health as the focus in my life. It’s hard to be different, though. It’s easy to compare. But my heart has chosen the path of least resistance, which means I have to fight my way through — against the resistance to be the person I am meant to be and allow happiness to flourish in my life. So, I want you to know you are not alone and that just because you are different doesn’t mean you can’t be just as happy (or happier). You just have to work for it.