I’ve been procrastinating a lot lately. Ok, maybe not a lot — for me. But compared to most people, I’m probably at the higher end of the spectrum.
Common wisdom tells us procrastination stems from fear: fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown once the current job is complete. That’s probably true, though it sure makes one feel better about their inherent laziness as well.
So here’s my fear about learning to code, and probably why I’ve been procrastinating on that as well: what if I don’t actually enjoy working as a programmer? What if I wake up one morning and decide that making websites or apps is a silly way to spend one’s time? What if the only thing I’ll ever actually enjoy is playing GTA in my PJs and watching Netflix all day?
That last one is probably not the case. More likely, what if I find out I’m just not cut out to code? That no matter how much I enjoy it, it’s too late/I’m too old/there are too many young rockstars out there already?
Then it’s back to the drawing board, though the list of things I want to do has more things crossed out than not. And what happens when that list hits zero?
That probably won’t happen, either. But to find out, I need to get back to doing the paid work I’m not quite sure I’m qualified to do (oh hey, imposter syndrome, nice to see you again!). Because if I can’t afford to eat and pay for this roof over my head, learning to code will be the least of my worries.
And that’s what procrastination is all about: getting you to the state where fear of survival outweighs fear of failure. Touché, brain, touché.
Also, I need to buy this t-shirt…
…when I get around to it.