Erin I see your situation and I one up you — what if in the same community, you feel “lonely” but your partner feels connected? My partner and I work in the same city in the Bay (not SF), I work from home and he works 5 minutes away (by bike). We live in a very nice area — nice houses, big parks, low crime. The area is bike-able, but more suburban — if you want entertainment, you must drive (and usually to SF). I’m miserable — our apartment complex’s residents refuse to talk to each other, walking to a store gives you weird looks from strangers in Teslas… I can’t stand living outside of a big city, no matter how bike-able it is. But if we move somewhere where I won’t be miserable (like SF), he’ll have an hour’s commute! This is the Bay Area, so forget us trying to live separately (think of the rent!). So while Richard Reis’s advice is nice in theory, in practice it only works swimmingly for someone who’s single.