What they told me:

They always said

With business

you can work anywhere you want to

with this degree

you can be in any industry you’d like

with these skills

you’ll be equipped to do anything you’ve ever imagined.

and I believed them.

because believing was so much easier

than jumping face forward off the cliff

diving through unrestrained freedom

with no idea where the winds would take you

having no clue when or if you would ever hit a current

and where that current would take you

if you made it

in the first place.

They always told me

I would live a comfortable life

and I always thought that

when they said comfortable

they meant happy —

they didn’t.

and they always said

it would be easy

that the path to this comfortable, happy life

would be so straightforward and simple —

it isn’t.

(well, I suppose,

if you listen to them blindly

it is. )

They always said so many things.

But what they failed to tell me,

What they never told me:

is that I would always wish that I stepped off the cliff.

that all I can do now

is watch the painter from afar

shaping a world I could never imagine

creating art to celebrate the beauty of the world

and then destroy it

to depict the brokenness of the world

and then heal it

things

that actually inspire.

that all I can do

is listen to the musician from a mile away

how he phrases each note, caresses them so tenderly

explaining emotions

without uttering a word

listen as my fingers crave to create

as my soul tries to drink the water of life

so parched

so dead.

that all I could ever do

is sit here

and stare

sit here

and wonder

what it would be like

to be

free.

and I say to myself

It isn’t fair

And I say to others

It isn’t fair

and they echo back to me

It isn’t fair

but the truth is

It is.

because I was never willing to make the sacrifice in the first place

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