ever notice how
your first and even second love
is just like the ocean

you hear stories, look at pictures, watch movies
its so beautiful and you just have to experience it for yourself
feel the mist spray on your face, the wind toss your hair, the sand stick to your skin

so much waiting and its finally there in front of you

deep breath- deep breath
then into the water you go

its chilly and your hair sticks up above your skin, but its nice and comforting
there’s no visible end, only the vast blue water lies ahead
so you go further

you feel free as the water caresses your body
so you swim
there’s no need to look back when all the beauty lies in your future
the waves begin to pick up, but you’re a good swimmer
you’re strong
you’ll overcome

but the waves are stronger now
and you fight
you fight for the feeling, for the beauty
you fight because you don’t want to let it go
but these waves are unpredictable

they crash against you like a force you’ve never seen
how could something so elegant turn on you
not on you
so you fight harder
you hold your breath longer, because every storm will pass
and the sandbar is near

but the current has a mind of its own
and you can no longer catch your breath
the sandbar vanishes and so does the horizon
your eyes go dark and you can’t breath
the once comforting water turns into the enemy

you wake up on the shore
afraid to touch the water again
but you see others cheerily swimming and playing
“happy oblivion” you tell yourself
so you turn your back

but time passes and you miss the way the salt in the air smells
the way the sun lathers your skin
the way you can stare into the void

so you take your first step into the water again
but this time you’ll use a float to get to the sandbar

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