Cancer hits us over the head with the knowledge of time and death. It is sobering. It can also be somewhat freeing as we learn to let go of other minor worries, irritations, opinions, etc. and focus on ourselves and our loved ones. I was hyper-aware of what day it was, when my next appointment would be, how many chemos I had left, how many infusions, how many radiation visits, and how many days until I would be done with the major treatments. I also became hyper-aware that my kids are growing and my time with my family and friends is not forever.

Those of us who have cancer or other major medical issues directly face the idea of our death. Most of the time we don’t think about it, but cancer forces us to confront the idea that we might die from cancer and that just like everyone, we will die and we don’t have complete control of that. It can be very sobering. I prayed that I would at least be able to see my girls graduate from high school. Then I got greedy and prayed I would see them grow up and maybe I could even meet my grandchildren. It was fun too, to re-connect with old friends and relatives who reached out to me. I realized how many wonderful people I have had the privilege to know and how fulfilling it is to keep those relationships strong.