Why I Can’t Imagine Living Permanently in a Conscious Community
I left my rigid, structured, and rational life in Scandinavia to learn from the flowy, loving, and loose conscious community in Latin America. It gave me everything I had been looking for — so why don’t I want to stay?
Letting Go of My Project Management Life in Denmark
When I left Denmark to start my sabbatical, it was with the intention to try and experience life differently. For many years, I had lived according to plans, goals, and responsibilities. I was very skilled at putting structure on chaos and imagining the way from A to B. These skills were highly useful in my job as a project manager.
However, I was so good at this way of being in the world that I ended up project managing not only my job but my whole life: friendships, sports, hobbies, dating life, everything. All challenges in life could be turned into projects that could be broken down into smaller actions. The actions I would put in my calendar, and every day I would wake up knowing exactly what to do to get to the next level in my Gantt chart. Okay, I am obviously exaggerating a bit, but it’s not far from the truth!
No man is an island, and the culture in Danish society certainly reinforced my way of being. A series of events led me to be curious about turning my life around. What would it be like to live without a plan for a while? To go about my day without really knowing where I was going? To have so few responsibilities in my life that I would be free to do whatever I wanted? To leave my life and not have a deadline for when to return? The thoughts provoked and fascinated me. I had to try it out.
Meeting the Other Side of Life: The Conscious Community
About two months into my sabbatical, I got in contact with the conscious community, which I have written extensively about in many other blog posts. Without knowing it, this was exactly the community I was looking for to move me forward and inspire a new way of being. In this community, people really value going with the flow. A lot of emphasis is put on trusting and surrendering to life as it unfolds instead of trying to control it. You listen to your body, you do what you feel like, you follow your pleasure.
I have met many people in this community who have walked a similar path to me earlier in their lives. They got tired of the high-paced western lifestyle and decided to ‘break free’ and become full-time nomads (read more in this post). Completely letting go of any attachments to their western home country, immersing themselves completely in the conscious community. Selling most of their belongings, living in vans, spending lots of time at conscious festivals (and apparently, growing long hair and getting lots of tattoos). Why is this not for me?
Growth Can Feel Chaotic and Extreme
As described in another post, I believe in the benefits of growth feeling like chaos, and I believe strongly in getting to know and getting curious about extremes in whatever way they show up in your life. One of the benefits is that we learn new skills this way.
When I was living my life back in Denmark, I really wanted to let go of some of the rigidity. But I was struggling because I didn’t yet have the skills to let go. In the context of my life back then, it was hard for me to learn those skills. For instance, I basically got paid to structure and control things in my job as a project manager, and I don’t think my boss would have liked me to suddenly just lean more into trusting that the project would take care of itself. Living in the extreme (for me, taking a sabbatical) made it much easier for me to learn the skills of trusting and letting go.
When I meet people who are really deep into either the conscious community or the default western lifestyle, I get very mixed feelings. On the one hand, I deeply admire their ability to commit so strongly to certain values and go all in. Also, I am grateful for the work they are doing in the communities and grateful for the structures they are building or upholding. But at the same time, I have a hard time relating to these people, and I don’t really envy their dedication. I imagine how much of life’s richness I would miss out on by ‘giving up’ on one of the worlds. It’s a bit like when people say you should choose between believing in science or spirituality. Why not choose both? They complement each other beautifully!
The Art of Integrating the Extremes is Key to Me
With time, many people who jump from one extreme to the other will experience that none of the poles are sustainable long term. Both extremes have their pros and cons, and when we decide to stick to one extreme, we miss out on the benefits of the other pole. I always find myself connecting most authentically with people who are connected to both worlds, who have one foot in each camp, so to speak. These people respect and value both worlds for their strengths, without getting blindsided and turning any of them into superior paradise worlds.
In the conscious community, I love the flow, and I miss the accountability. In the default world, I love the eagerness to improve, and I miss the ability to let go. I have a deep longing to be able to bridge and connect these two ways of living. Writing these blog posts and reflections is part of this work. Going back to where I came from, with my new insights and skills, is the other. After some time in the conscious community, it’s time for me to integrate.
Are you curious to learn more about the conscious community? I invite you to also read my articles on my definition of a conscious community, connection, healing, struggles and surprising practices in the conscious community.
