On Moving

After college, I set out to move away from a life I grew to love. I was excited to do something new and spent most of my time consumed with planning out my future wardrobe, apartment, place of living etc.

When the actual move occurred, I didn’t really think about it. I spent my time overbooking myself, dating a lot of weirdos and talking on the phone. I was just doing me in a different state.

Then November happened. After another annoying break-up, I didn’t really feel the same. Let’s be clear. This guy was not special. He did not deserve any extra tears or torment. But I went weeks crying every day, multiple times a day for no reason. Why wasI so upset?

The tears were a result of something that happened 5 months earlier that I refused to acknowledge. I finally realized that I moved.

My close friends were not going to be there and I was tied up in a brand new world without a lifeline. You may not handle it the way I did (stifle all emotions, grind your teeth and distract yourself from being human until you explode), but there are some surefire things you can do to make the process better, no matter how you react.

>Plan a trip home. Even if you and your parents do not get along, you will benefit from some days spent deeply knowing the people you are spending time with. Often, I become paralyzed in a new environment because I suffer from ‘experience fatigue’. When you are inundated with new people, new experiences and new information, you feel pressure to always be “on.” You are constantly putting on a show to demonstrate to others who you are. That is exhausting and sometimes you just want people to know that even though you aren’t speaking at the moment, you do not hate them, you just need a moment to chill. Or you need a place that if you take your shoes off and sit cross-legged on the couch, people will not think you are a blossoming Buddhist.

>Set up a routine. Planning your schedule when there isn’t much to fill it can be stressful. You can react negatively and spend the rest of your life watching TV trying to dull the pain. Not productive. My vice was Bikram yoga and I found a Groupon that let me go 3 times a week for 3 months. Boy did I get my money’s worth and boy did it feel good to “have plans.”

>Do something out of character. You are moving to a new place after all and you have the ability to reinvent yourself, people of the past be damned. So try something funky. I joined a few Meetup groups to expose myself to other people. Those new people did not know if I go by Meryl or if I go by Annette. Take advantage of that and learn what you like and what you want your new brand to be.

The most important thing to remember about moving far away is that the torment will not be long. Soon your new home will be your home and there will be people in your life that you will care about in the tri-state area. No one will replace your old friends, that is for sure. But you will find new people to share your new life with and if you want it to, your new life will be great.

If you like this and want to read more posts about the juncture point between college and becoming a part of the real world, read my blog @ www.the-juncture.com.