A guide to whether inconvenient science facts still apply to you, even though you are special.

Masks: they’re a divisive issue! On the one hand, every scientist who isn’t just a weird chiropractor your dad follows on Instagram agrees: wearing a mask helps to slow the spread of Coronavirus, especially among asymptomatic people. On the other, you don’t want to. Not only because you are just too lazy to do even the smallest bit of extra work, but you’d also just rather not be reminded that you don’t floss every time you breathe (another thing that would require some much…


The Anne Clark Show Podcast is kicking off 2019 by trying to start a new government through crowdfunding, ’cause why not!

While most podcasts this week are probably just talking about the government shutdown, The Anne Clark Show is actually going to do something about it. Check us out on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, Soundcloud, or right here in the player below! We’re collecting pledges with the intention of opening our own government. Like mail? Want roads? Become a sustaining member of our podcast! We just need to raise like, a trillion dollars, and we can get this done! Also, we talk about the Chrysler Building, UCB, Syria, all the serious and potential Democratic presidential candidates, and of course the Bird Box Challenge.


Spoiler alert: That guy friend who treats women badly is actually just a bad person

Credit: iStock/Getty

Ever since the debut of my breakthrough and extremely scientific technique The Rock Test, men have flocked to me, begging for insight into how they can become Good. So today, I’m here to tell you how to move beyond not harassing women at work and level up to full Feminist by doing this one weird trick: Ditch your scumbag friend.

Everyone knows one: He’s the guy with all the crazy exes, his relationships are full of drama, he’s aggressively hitting on a different girl whenever you go out — but it’s time to stop acting like being a manipulative predator…


ACTUALLY will be an ongoing series where I help confused men understand the world, because it’s like, kind of complicated.

Steven Spielberg told reporters earlier this week that he is open to creating a female version of Indiana Jones, saying “We’d have to change the name from Jones to Joan. And there would be nothing wrong with that.”

UM, ACTUALLY Mr. Spielberg, no disrespect, you’re a great director and a great man. I still consider Jurassic Park to be the greatest film of my generation. Unfortunately, you’re wrong here. Little known fact: the character’s name is actually Indiana Jones, or…


https://twitter.com/plantofcolor/status/978281845715595264

Several Hollywood actresses issued stern denials today that they were the one who bit Beyoncé in the face, following Tiffany Haddish’s recounting of the incident in GQ that led to the singer hiding her face in their selfie.

Jennifer Lawrence: I was wearing beautiful Chanel lipstick, you think I would bite Beyoncé in the FACE? I have only ever done pickleback shots with Beyoncé followed by tickle fights.

Alyssa Milano: I would stand with Beyoncé but would never bite her in the face. During times like these we women must have each other’s backs not bite each other’s faces.

Meryl…


By Sal, the unlicensed hot dog vendor

Hey, it’s me! Sal! You know, the guy who sells hot dogs out of the back of my van? And I got some opinions alright. People been talkin a lot about this gun business lately. Sayin crazy shit like that to buy guns we should have “rules” and “some kind of system just any kind of system, please, people are dying.” But you know what? This is America, and in America we care about one thing: freedom. Not kids, not lives, and especially not kids’ lives, but FREEDOM.

It’s freedom that allowed me…


Look, I hate to be this guy, but I was born this guy.

On Saturday, the New York Times ran a feature on the Pentagon’s UFO program, and everyone got excited. A completely normal reaction to the news that there might be alien alloys in a building in Las Vegas.

And sure, I do think there are probably aliens out there, somewhere. Though if an advanced race of technologically superior aliens do exist, I hope they’re too busy enjoying their universal basic income and 5,000Gbps wifi speed to worry about flying around our cornfields at night. Unless we’re like some…


By Ann Coulter

Can’t anyone take a joke anymore? Today on Twitter the left proved their own fragility by completely falling apart over my tweet.

While us grownups were just trying to discuss a little thing we like to call tax policy, the precious millennials took a break from calling their parents for money to insult me even though I’m a woman. So much for feminism.

Unfortunately for all these participation-trophy holding kids who discovered socialism at an improv class, I’m not lonely. At all.

Just ask any of my assorted dying houseplants.

Buckley


Ideas for things to do to repair a semi-crushed soul.

Do you read the news? Has it crushed the small amount of happiness you were able to feel after you saw Wonder Woman? Yeah. Well, here’s a small list of inexpensive, simple pleasures to reconnect you to the universe’s beauty and truth and all that good hippie shit.

The New Beck Album, It is Called “Colors” And It’s Very Nice

“Smooth” “Uplifting” and “Poppy” are all words I would use to describe this very nice album Beck has given us. When you listen to it, try dancing only with…


Are you a man confused on how to treat the women you work with? Do you feel like if you can’t say or do *anything* you don’t know what to say or do at all? Well stress no more! This life hack will have you treating women like people in no time.

From Harvey Weinstein to like all of Uber, it seems each day a wealthy and powerful man is being brought down by accusations of sexual harassment or assault. And just today the New York Times reported that men are becoming less likely to mentor females out of fear:

Anne Victoria Clark

I write comedy. I'm from Omaha. I have a cat. Those are the only three things to know about me. Oh wait, that was a fourth thing.

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