America is the greatest country on Earth and it makes me SICK
Those of you that know me from Twitter know that I am a great and true patriot. I love the USA! I SUPPORT THE TROOPS AND TRUMP!! But America is also GOING TO HELL!! Here are the things that make America great and why they make me SICK!!!
1. The Constitution
This is the best thing about America!!! Did you know that of the 196 recognized countries on Earth only 159 of them have codified constitutions? Take that, UK!!! You’re over there making rules based on precedent and here we are enjoying all our pre-written-down FREEDOM along with countries like Afghanistan and Yemen!!!
That said, there are definitely some parts of the U.S. Constitution *I do not like*. Namely, the 1st, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th, 19th, 23rd, and 24th Amendments. These amendments make me SICK!!! A total shame!!! But everything else about the Constitution is PERFECT!!
Well, actually, Article I disgusts me, because I don’t like that “interstate commerce” is used by LIBTARDS in Congress to pass regulations that KILL JOBS!! SICK!!! Originally, the founders intended the word “commerce” to mean “nothing”. As in “Congress can legislate nothing”, but thanks to the cuck snowflakes’ “broad interpretation” Congress gets to make rules, which I hate. Unless it’s a Republican Congress, which is GREAT!! REPUBLICAN GOVERNMENT IS GREAT LIKE A TRAIN!! TOOT TOOT!!!
I also hate Article II, because it establishes the powers of the presidency. Which was used by the libs to let Obama be president for EIGHT YEARS OF SHAME, and my life was terrible. I had to see smiling and happy liberals everywhere: on the news, on the internet, and on the news. I hated it. I wanted to see them sad. I wanted to see them cry. I wanted to MAKE them cry, so I did. TRUMP TRAIN TOOT TOOT!!!
And don’t get me started on Article III, which allows ACTIVIST JUDGES to make decisions for us about who gets rights. They’ve used the powers in this dumb Article to give marriage rights to gay people. All I see now are happy gay couples on the news, on the internet, and on the news. America was better when it was normal for me to be angry about gay people, because I am. I mean, of course I don’t know any, but knowing they’re out there makes me SICK!!! We SHOULD only have courts that put people in jail for things I find personally offensive, like being poor, smoking weed, or protesting our GREAT PRESIDENT USA USA USA!!!
Honestly, we should probably erase the whole Constitution and make a new one that cuts all this LIBBY CUCK stuff out and makes Trump officially God Emperor.
2. The Opportunity
Because of the good parts of our Constitution, this is the land of opportunity. You can be a DISGUSTING poor person who gets it together eventually and achieves the best goal of being RICH LIKE TRUMP!! This is the only country in the world where that is possible, except for Canada, Sweden, Finland, Norway, Germany, and the UK, which the National Review (NO MSM LIES HERE) has assured me our social mobility rates are “very close to”!!!!
Truly, I love to hear stories about the poor immigrants who came here between 1880 and 1950 from Europe and were granted the opportunities that weren’t possible in their homelands. Today, the US is still a shining beacon of freedom and opportunity for many immigrants, which is something that MAKES ME SICK!!!
Can you believe people are allowed to come here from Iraq, Afghanistan, SYRIA, MEXICO, AND PLACES I CAN’T SPELL and USE OUR SCHOOLS AND LIVE ON OUR LANDS?! THEY EVEN GET TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL!!! I saw some on tv that were EATING FOOD. Some of them aren’t even WHITE and lots don’t SPEAK ENGLISH!! Don’t get me wrong, immigrants are what make America great and so I’m fine with them being here as long as they are exactly like me, overly friendly to me in all situations, and also agree to never get near me or MY KIDS!! MY KIDS ARE MY LIFE SO IF YOU DON’T EAT HOT DOGS GET OUT!!!
3. The Freedom
Probably the best example of all the freedom we have is guns. In America, you can have all the guns you want. Some people think this is bad, but this is just LIES! Guns make people freer because the freest society is one where you never know who could kill you at any second for any reason.
Also in America, we have Freedom of Speech. This is supposed to mean you can say whatever you want. Too bad LIBERAL FASCISTS won’t let that happen. Ann Coulter can’t even speak at Berkeley. If I want to hear Ann Coulter speak, I have to go to Twitter or TV or the bookstore or her website or read one of her columns on Breitbart or go see her speak at one of her other engagements or hire her to come speak at my own engagement. But if I specifically wanted to get in my car and drive from my home in Topeka, Kansas, the 1,771 miles to Berkeley, California to go hear Ann Coulter speak at the University of California Berkeley, I could not! It’s JUST LIKE NAZI GERMANY THAT WAY!! If Freedom of Speech was allowed to work the way the founders intended, I’d ONLY hear from people like Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham — but man versions because the founders NEVER intended women to work outside the home — and anyone who even SMELLED like a disgusting liberal would be body slammed for saying things that MAKE ME SICK!!
You’re also allowed Freedom of Religion, meaning you can be any kind of Christian you want, even a weird kind like Quaker or Mormon, and we can’t punish you. Even if we want to. Some people can even be Jews, which is ok if we’re talking about Israel. I’m very pro-Israel because I believe the races and religions of this world should be divided into their own countries, this will make CERTAIN ONES easier to bomb when we’re finally able to enact God Emporer Trump’s “Last Answer”. But I also hate this amendment because it helps Sharia Law!!! If Sharia Law happens, I would dislike it, because I read that Obama the Muslim likes it, and I am SICKENED by that man. So Freedom of Religion is actually a very bad thing about America that has filled it with sin. Sin that needs to be purged, with blood.
In conclusion, I love America, except for most of the Constitution, the opportunities it provides filthy immigrants, and the freedoms it gives people to be different from ME. IT ALL MAKES ME SICK!!!! I AM VERY SICK!!! AND I HAVE NO HEALTH INSURANCE BECAUSE OF OBAMA!!! TRUMP PLEASE HELP ME!!!COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH-
The author died of lung cancer immediately upon publication.