So well written! You really spoke to me! I have gained and lost the same 80 pounds, many times and this time what’s different is that I’m middle aged and single… what’s different is that although it’s my choice, and I didn’t for me, it’s still disconcerting when men look at me, compliment me… Part of me is angry, as if to say, oh this is my prize for working hard to lose weight? Guys will talk to me?The other side of me is “ ah, so it really was my weight holding me back from happiness all these years”. Why does my accomplishment (better health) only matter in what value the male gaze has? I know the power is in my head, but I also know I’ve been socialized to think that a woman is only s good as she looks. Thank you for your writing, you articulated what I didnt know needed to said.