Well fuck, I don’t know if I’m love avoidant or love accepting! I think I’m love accepting, because I give so much more than I take.. and then I get resentful that I’m not being given enough attention, care, etc, but that gives me space to walk away when it’s invariably not working… which it won’t because I don’t think I have the bandwidth to sustain a real relationship with someone . Right now I’d rather exist in a bubble, where it’s all sex and cuddling and more sex, than actual real life where I have to know about his problems, his concerns , his feelings, and prepare for when I don’t meet his needs anymore, or less likely he doesn’t meet mine. But I like you, am a wonderful “ quasi” girlfriend. I like existing in the shadows, the side piece, the sometimes mistress in his polyamorous life. I should state I’m well past the age where I’m looking for a lifetime partner or father to children, so that helps. I don’t know why I’m writing this to you, a complete stranger , other than I’m a fan, and I aspire to be more like you, in your rage no prisoners lifestyle. I like that your balls to the wall, take charge, no apologies for how you conduct your life. You do you? And I’ll keep reading, trying to suss out whether I’m love avoidant or love seeking.
