THOIP: The Hum|Annie Outline In Progress

Annie Altman
Apr 30 · 16 min read

Please message me your thoughts and feelings!

Introduction: being human is confusing and fun and we could all benefit from some more organization regarding resource distribution to help increase equity worldwide

-no one knows how to be a human — easy to focus on doing and forget about being

-there is no universal manual about how to be a human, everyone gets to make their own up

-there are themes of being human that everyone encounters in different ways

-the themes all start with a “C” which is a rotated bell-curve graph

-the bell curve is an ultimate graph of humanity and being human — bell curve spectrum

-“happy medium” dependent on extremes

-“being present” is somewhere between being hyper-aware and being unaware-top of curve is pause between inhale and exhale

-my experiences with depression, anxiety, OCD, body dysmorphia, and grief

-experiences with Zoloft, Xanex, birth control, cannabis, yoga, food etc

-story of talking about suicide with my mom when I was 5

-my dad dying from a heart attack the same day I was flying back for a visit

-my perspective on coincidence changing

-feelings are guidance, so are thoughts, neither completely — hi there bell curve graph

-feelings and thoughts are experienced and stored in the whole body

-placebo effect essentially ignored by modern medicine until recently

-how pain is felt is a pain to Western medicine

-epigenetics scientifically show the connection between nature and nurture — hi again bell curve graph

-ancestral trauma literally gets passed — slavery in the United States and worldwide

-epigenetics as “proof” “suggesting” collective consciousness

-precision vs accuracy

-operational definitions in psychology

-science and spirituality have the same end goals of “understanding” and “bettering” humanity

-resurgence of astrology and spiritual practices — numerology

-following science with blind faith, following faith like it’s science

-golden rule of all religions: treat people how you want to be treated

-how to treat people how they want to be treated — communication is required

-debate between a human having a spiritual experience and a spirit having a human experience

-spiritual principles are reflected cellularly

-all questions of human existence eventually boil down to: Who am I? What am I? Where am I? How did I get here? Why am I here?

-philosophizing is a privilege and privilege is a tool to be used to erase privilege

-there are plenty of resources for everyone, humans have not yet decided to prioritize their distribution

-food is a very tangible example of access to resources — there is more than enough food for everyone

-also clean water, shelter, healthcare, education, connection

-interconnection: helping anyone helps everyone — reality is consensus-based

-“we’re all walking each other home” — Ram Dass

-meeting basic needs allows humans space to explore themselves and the world

-humans really are social creatures — more similar than different, strong in differences

-the most effective way to minimize violence is to maximize equity

-sexual assault, rape, genital mutilation

-regulation of guns and other weapons

-lack of access to food, clean water, shelter, healthcare, education, etc

-capitalism has gone too far when it gets involved with healthcare, educations, and rehabilitation

-US healthcare system makes health a commodity rather than a human right — same for education and rehabilitation

-US military spending

-influence of puritanism on US culture and policy

-conspiracy theories ignore how collectively unorganized humans tend to be

-proponents of flat earth theory

-skepticism

-Paganism and Halloween

-religion vs. spirituality

-religion has yet to “go away” so that seems unlikely — perhaps shifting towards spiritual practices — The Four Agreements

-organized religion as perhaps the main unifying and destructive force in human history

-golden rule in all religions: treat people how you want to be treated

-technology is a tool that can be used to increase equity — offers new methods for distributing knowledge, organization, and accountability

-new form of connection, new way to get and stay connected

-new ways to express yourself and share your work

-new opportunities to learn from each other

-truth is relative — objectivity is the sum of subjectivities — reality is consensus based — collectively deciding how colors are viewed and labeled

-original rules of this country were written by racist rapists who believed in owning other humans

-talking is a step in changing and growing — action is necessary

-ideas are eternal because they are connected to feelings — connection is everything

music: “Human” The Killers, “Where is my mind?” The Pixies, “Let’s go crazy” Prince

1. Consciousness: where’s your awareness?

-awareness is attention is focus

-Thich Nhat Hanh saying the mind is like a TV — change the channel

-time each day to be with just feelings, ask thoughts to step away

-story of 6 year old Annie confused about kids taking medicine to help their focus, asking mom if there was a medicine to focus less

-emotional labor is taking full responsibility for your own emotions and actions

-whatever the health thing, stress is the root

-meditation and mindfulness practices — scientific studies confirming spiritual practices

-brain scans of Buddhist monks and people doing short term mindfulness practices

-gorilla basketball video shows how we can direct our awareness

-people with ADD notice the gorilla — “disorder” is a just a different type of consciousness

-no one can fully understand someone else’s perspective — you cannot literally experience someone else’s feelings

-sleep is part of the “final frontier” of neuroscience because it’s related to consciousness

-no proof consciousness originates in the brain — whole body awareness — muscle memory

*guided group body scan meditation*

-life is the shortest and fastest thing we do — bell curve graph

-yoga philosophical psychology 101 and 102

-yoga nidra

-“This is Water” by DFW

-Emoto’s water experiments and controversy — peer-review and reproducibility — reflection of the tendency of modern science to discount the placebo effect

-people often talk about talking to their plants and that influencing how they grow and that tends to be “acceptable”

-what thoughts do you consume most throughout the day? is there a pattern to your thoughts?

-our relationship with our own consciousness is backdrop for all our relationships with everyone and everything — how we feel influences the actions we choose

music: “Celebrate”

2. Choice: what decisions are you making?

-influence of advertising on decision making

-influence of lobbying on decision making

-pharmaceuticals, guns, alcohol, tobacco, etc

-factory farming, GMOs

-where money is allocated shows a country’s priorities — military spending vs healthcare, education, and rehabilitation spending in the US

-plants cannot be patented — cannabis and other plant medicines, plant foods, healing from being in nature

-human ideas that came directly from nature — planes based off birds

-food is a daily choice and directly shows human connection with nature

-Judaism based off agricultural laws

-we’re not going to “go back to an agricultural society” because history doesn’t go backwards — it does seem time to incorporate farming more directly again — relationship between food sourcing and distribution and the environment overall

-how to incentivize farmers and feeding people

-how to encourage home cooking and people connecting over food

-food tangibly shows human’s connection with nature

-composting is more than hippie lingo — Korean Natural Farming

-individual food choices impacting others

-factory farming does most noticeable damage to people and places least involved in factory farming

-difference between ending factory farming and “the whole world going vegan”

-home and local community gardens, organic farming

-lack of distribution of food — easy reason to lack faith in humanity — greed

-there is plenty of food (and all resources) for everyone

-humans have figured out how to distribute wifi, soda, tobacco, etc — the “issue” is prioritization

-current projects dealing with hunger — NoKidHungry, Peanut Butter Project, Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation Program on Food Security and the Environment, etc

-food is a human right

-ease of distribution of plant foods because of shelf life — rice, beans, potatoes, oats etc are part of the staples of most diets — Western civilization built on wheat and grains

-lack of distribution of housing — strategies to help end homelessness

-which energy source is prioritized — how it impacts the environment — cars, trains, and planes

-fossil fuels and greenhouse gases and global warming

-planned obsolescence of technology, clothes, furniture etc — how to encourage thrift shopping and recycling

-humans are distracted from distribution of resources by their own addictions

-addictions/coping mechanisms/distractions I’ve experimented/experiment with: Zoloft, Xanex, Ativan, cannabis, caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, other substances, codependent relationships, sex, yoga, and more

-food addictions — disordered eating way more common than discussed — relationship to mental health — restrict-binge cycle — restrict-binge bell curve

-processed foods engineered for fat/salt/sugar content to be physically addictive — orthorexia can also be addictive — bell curve graph

-casomorphin is an opioid formed when we consume dairy — intended to help baby cows go back to their mothers for nutrients

-my experiences with disordered eating and body dysmorphia — veganism, raw veganism, fruitarianism — orthorexia

-nutrition is complicated and personalized

-what I learned from the vegan dogma and all food dogma: any dogma is dogma

-dogma is its own addiction

-everything is an addiction and/or coping mechanism and/or distraction — you get to choose yours!

-substances, food, exercise, sex, relationships, technology, social media, etc

-meditating and chanting all day is another type of addiction

-opioid addiction — back to mental health and suicide

-reasons to legalize all substances — countries that have decriminalized all substances

-everyone has some sort of void they are filling — everyone is addicted to something — searching for stability in an unstable world

-compare and contrast: gambling and tarot cards

music: “I am” James Arthur

3. Change: what is different?

-nature is always changing and humans are part of nature

-the only permanence is impermanence, and humans being uncomfortable with that

-humans can also get uncomfortable when there’s very little change for a very long time

-part of each generation dislikes the music, fashion, slang etc of the following generation

-nature is built from cycles, so are humans

-seasons, moon, menstruation

-agriculture depends on cycles -when to plant, crop rotation for soil health, etc

-change is growth — evolution is constant — change is the only constant

-Bat Mitzvah booklet with lyrics to “Waiting on the World” by John Mayer

-changing my views on and connection to Judaism — 10th grade confirmation, meeting orthodox Jews in Crown Heights, denying Judaism, coming back to Judaism at the end of college

-why I thought I wanted to become a physician — why I changed my course

-yoga teacher training — shema while meditating

-flow states — flowing with change

-“it’s always right now” — Boyhood — it being the present moment is never changing

-nonattachment — attaching to non attachment is still attachment

music: “Changes” by 2Pac, “Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson, “Circle of Life”

4. Compassion: where is the gentleness?

-kindness and gentleness are essential for connection with yourself and with others

-my experiences learning about patience

-my tendencies towards anger, aggression, and self-loathing

-self-love vs self-hate are both focused on the self

-self-love as shown on social media

-“you’ve got to be on your own team”

-self vs. other — Erikson’s stages of development

-comparison — social media highlighting highlight reels

-duality and non-dualism

-male-female polarity — sex vs. gender

-transgender community

-transgender and body dysmorphia and mental health

-sexuality is s spectrum — Kinsey scale

-polyamory — bell curve graph with monogamy

-principles to learned from both practices — communication, feeling joy for partner’s joy

-different things work for different people at different times -“not better or worse, just different”

-everyone is crazy so no one is crazy

-“crazy” “insane” and other mental health labels

-forgiveness is for giving

-forgive yourself to forgive others — relationship with self is background for relationships with others

-forgive your parents because they are a product of their parents and their environments

-forgive yourself for not knowing better before you knew something

music: “Where is the love?” , “Love is all you need”

5. Communication: how do you express yourself?

-self-talk matters

-how you talk to others is a reflection of how you talk to yourself

-distinguishing thoughts from feelings and understanding where and how they blend

-labeling thoughts, feelings, behaviors, patterns, etc to help understand them

-labels are helpful and can be restrictive — language and labels are tools, a way to point at things

-Myers Briggs Test

-The Enneagram

-personality tests are helpful indicators and also boxes — no manual for all humans

-experience is what truly communicates — mind-body communication

-when two people communicate there’s also the layers of both of their individual mind-body communications

-people only hear what they can hear

-different types of communication — as unique as different humans

-communication as self-expression

-movement, music, fine art, fashion, etc

-miscommunication is at the root of a lot of chaos

-communication as a means of expression

-experimenting with how to communicate

-this project as a means to express myself, to learn to accept my expressions, and to remember I can only influence my own expressions (and even then…)

music: “Whatcha Say”

6. Community: who are you connected to?

-connection is everything part two — everything is symbiotic

-family is our first community — family model changing throughout history

-Freud’s theories, LMFTs, family systems therapy

-my experience in my family community

-three older brothers — 5, 7, and 9 years older — unconvinced I was planned and also unconvinced I was an accident

-parents separation — sitting them down before senior year of high school to tell them how unhappy I was living with them together — them separating three years later

-save the marriage baby that didn’t save the marriage?

-road trip where I picked “I miss you” by Blink 182 every time it was my turn to choose the song

-“Cannie” nickname and evolution — bad baby trash can, miss can, canimal, caminal

-“you are the 5 people you surround yourself with”

-mirroring and mirror neurons

-Rat Park studies by Bruce Alexander

-community and setting had enormous impact on choices surrounding substance use

-The Internet is a new type of community — people cannot be “kicked out”

-Reddit, YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, Instagram, etc

-millenials are the MMR generation

-anti-vaccine movement — bred from skepticism and distrust of modern medicine

-hippie-hypocritical — if vaccines cause autism, withholding vaccines teaches children that having autism is “worse” than dying or putting someone else at risk of dying of a preventable disease

-social justice movements and intersectionality

-white feminism is rooted in white supremacy

-no such thing as reverse isms

-body and sex positive movements — diet and weight loss industries

-excluding straight white able-bodied males is still exclusion

-disability community continually neglected

-short term experience as a personal care attendant for a woman who signed one letter at a time to communicate in words — how much I learned from her about patience, communication, and Words with Friends

-body and sex positivity in disability community

-mental health in disability community

-everyone is going through something

-bystander effect

music: “We are family” Sister Sledge, “With a little help from my friends” The Beatles, “Year 3000” Jonas Brothers

7. Creation: what’s consumption being turned into?

-“it’s a social construct” — creation happens in the present

-time and money are human creations — most common excuses for behavior

-companies can be as ethical or unethical as humans allow them to be

-humans collectively create the economy — vote with your dollar

-examples of availability of vegan food, super food trends

-importance of representation in politics and business

-9–5 work and school schedule compared to human biological rhythms

-high school teacher who reminded us that 1/7th of your life is Mondays

-what is taught in schools and how they are structured

-taxes, investments, etc

-emotional well-being

-sex education — masturbation, consent, etc

-how to compensate teachers fairly

-importance of teachers to guide you towards and through experiences that teach

-law of attraction and Abraham Hicks, Tony Robbins, etc — irony of charging people to find their answers in themselves

-teachers of any kind remind people that they are their own teacher

-guru effect — Catholic priests, Bikram and other yoga teachers, casting directors and producers

-biological procreation — evolutionarily it makes complete sense for humans to be so focused on sex and food

-sex work is oldest profession — shame around sex

-double standard of sexual acts between males and females

-legalizing all sex work

-sexual assault — me too movement, assault on college campuses, role of alcohol

-attacker is more likely to be someone the victim knows

-victim blaming — dogma to police people’s presentations

-genital mutilation

-trauma and PTSD — how to heal? access to resources for healing

-importance of representation in media

music: “Little Wonders” Rob Thomas

8. Charge: what’s the exchange?

-violence has a race and a gender

-emotional violence is also violence

-everything really is energy exchange — “energy can neither be created nor destroyed”

-money is energy

-energy is intangible — cannot be fully measured — emotions are energy in motion

-Western medicine has been set up to only focus on male physiology

-even rat and mice studies are focused on the male model

-funding for Viagra vs. birth control

-Western medicine set up to prioritize the privileged

-health disparities based on race, socio-economic group, etc

-connection to access to resources — food, shelter, education, etc

-circumcision

-Western medicine disconnected from nature

-birthing process is sterile and in a physically nonsense position

-females conditioned to fear birth — orgasmic birth rarely discussed

-food directly keeps humans connected to nature — Soylent Green is like trying to make fetch happen

-symbiotic relationships are everywhere in nature and the human body

-the microbiome — serotonin was first discovered in the gut

-positive/negative charges

-magnets — sea turtles and birds that use magnets in their head to navigate

-yin and yang, light and dark, contrast clarifies

-purpose is presence and joy

-suffering is a small part of life — most suffering is from anticipation and avoidance of suffering

-life is “supposed” to be net positive, it asks to be enjoyed

-happiness is an inside job

music: “The End” The Beatles

9. Curiosity: how do you respond to not knowing?

-zen mind, beginner’s mind

-the more you know, the more you know there is to know

-3 year old Annie helmet story: “I can’t tell you the things I don’t know because then they would be things I do know, you can’t say the things you don’t know” — mother with MD and JD and four children: “I’ve met my match”

-relationship with mom -“never say never, never say always”

-the more you know, the more you know there is to know

-accepting astrology into my life while remembering any dogma is still dogma

-past me would have judged current me harshly about astrology — past me was judgmental and harsh — change is constant!

-we’re mostly water and we collectively accept that the moon controls the tides

-astrology and the elements — stereotypes are based on patterns — sun signs and more

-earth: grounded, reliable, determined — if an earthy person says they have a method for something that really works for them, I believe them

-water: fluid, sensitive, intuitive — if a watery person says they have a feeling about something, I believe them

-air: spacious, creative, communicative — if an airy person has an idea about something in the collective consciousness, I believe them

-fire: creation and destruction, passion — if a fiery person says they’re going to do something, I believe them

-mapping Myers Briggs and The Enneagram onto astrology — again, any dogma is dogma

-history of astronomy — astronomy vs astrology — reactions from each when confused with each other

-search for nonexistent manual about how to be a human

-this project as a way to accept that 1) it doesn’t exist 2) I wouldn’t actually want it to exist 3) I get to make it all up as I go along!

-taking life less and less seriously as I go along

-it’s not life or death until it’s life or death — no one makes it out of life alive

-the opposite of love is indifference

music: “Naive” The Kooks, “Humble” by Kendrick Lamar, “How far I’ll go” from Moana

10. Courage: what’s your why?

-encouraged to be yourself because no one else can be you

-other cliches that are also true: love is all, YOLO, etc

-it feels good to be around people who feel good being themselves

-other people’s opinions are not my business

-vulnerability and fear of rejection — Brene Brown TED talk going viral

-authenticity and vulnerability — being yourself encourages others to be themselves

-importance of just showing up

-guilt vs shame — “I did something bad” vs. “I am bad”

-confidence and conceit — “conman” — humans can sense inauthenticity from other humans

-smiling is contagious just like yawns — also stretching

-“fake it till you make it”- faking a smile actually changes your physiology

-also important to let yourself be sad when you’re sad

-smiling as a protective mechanism when talking about my dad’s death — facial expressions do not always match emotions

-humans are only species that smile at others they like — other species display teeth as a threat only

-laughter is medicine — laughter yoga was invented by a cardiologist

*guided laughter yoga*

-courage to laugh and cry in the face of life and death

-courage to take existence less seriously

music: “Bold as love” Jimi Hendrix, “Keep Ya Head Up” Tupac, “When you believe”

Conclusion: talking about being human and expressing our humanness connects us all and connection is vital towards helping remember interconnection and the purpose of increasing equity worldwide through equal access to resources

-art gets interpreted however it gets interpreted — why not share?

-art is for the artist, at least initially — art is for everyone eventually

-everyone is artistic and creative in some capacity — art does its “job” if it makes you feel

-feelings are guidance

-there are more than five senses — proprioception

-bell curve can be used as a way to check in with each C and see where you are — remember that life flows in cycles

-capitalism and the internet as types of religion

-capitalism has no place in healthcare, educations, or rehabilitation

-things I would love to be collectively discussed more: food, poop, money, birth, death, drugs, mental health

-more things I would love to be collectively discussed more: immigration, nuclear weapons

-changing school and work systems

-what is prioritized in schools — economics — emotional well-being and communication

-teaching meditation, mindful movement, and improv

-changing how communities are structured

-changing how cities are structured — public transportation

-how little public transport there is in LA compared to how big and sprawling LA is

-compare, contrast, celebrate

-the most effective way to minimize violence is to maximize equity part two

-Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

-hurt people hurt people — healed people heal people

-healing requires access to resources for healing

-hurt and healing are processes like everything — no “end” point to grief or trauma or healing

-mental health at center of all human things because it is at the center of all humans

-Who am I? What am I? Where am I? How did I get here? Why am I here?

-how to share about my mental health and myself without being an arrogant proselytizer

-experience grieving my dad, learning to ask for help and let go of expectations

-accepting my nature and my nurture

-continual evolution of individuals and species

-what is my responsibility and what is not my responsibility

-everything is a work in progress — no end point — TNH: “If there is no death, there is no life”

-practice makes practice

-interconnection: everyone’s mental health influences everyone else

-when you’re near someone who is stressing, you can feel their stress

-when you’re near someone feeling calm, you can feel their calm

-you’re literally exchanging oxygen molecules with people you are near — interconnection is spiritual and scientific

-love is all is one is love is life is art is life is death is healing is love

-life imitates art imitates love imitates art imitates life

-“Where is the love?” essentially said all of this much more succinctly so I’m #basically another white woman over-intellectualizing the poetry of black men

music: “I miss you” Blink 182, “I wanna dance with somebody” Whitney Houston

Annie Altman

Written by

One human’s thoughts and (mostly) feelings on humaning. For the podcast and other expressions head to theanniealtmanshow.com @theanniealtmanshow