On how I lost myself and don’t want to be found
One of my favorite writers and entrepreneurs once said “I stopped struggling when I understood THIS, this work was not mine, I was merely an instrument”
That same entrepreneur and one of my favorite persons also said that a lot of people called him crazy, others, in pity — and also probably too cowardly to speak their minds — called him a dreamer, which even if it sounds like a compliment, most of the times the people don’t mean it that way.
You would probably never believe me if I told you who that entrepreneur was, why? Because we are full of prejudice.
We have created a new order in which we seem to believe we have knocked down walls of racism, sexism, religious beliefs, gender, age, sexual preference, freedom of speech and any kind of discrimination that comes from attempting to damage any of these concepts or even a mix of all of them; I believe we have done a good job, but I also believe in doing this good job we have created more prejudice and lack of understanding for each other; why ?? Why would I say this? — I bet anyone that’s reading me is already making mental arguments against my posture, but ok, no worries — well, I say this because now we have created capsules of extreme and black and white beliefs that make things bad or good or possible or impossible.
An example? Ok, why must we think all catholics are homophobes? Or why must we think that gay people can’t be catholic? I don’t think one thing necessarily implies the other, because when we do believe one thing implies another thing then we are creating a prejudice.
Nowadays everyone is so sensitive about what they say because they might offend, discriminate or even get sued for what they speak that we have censored and muted our own freedom of speech and in that same sense we have also muted ourselves from becoming our truest version possible.
Not only that, we have also taken justice into our hands via social media, like some sort of millennial Batman, and slut shame anyone that dares to express their opinion about something and even worse if it collides with ours; is that really tolerance or freedom? Screaming in CAPS LOCK in someone else’s post which can be legally construed as their private space for expression, and even if it’s online and public they are still shielded by their right to freedom speech; to me this is the equivalent of someone screaming at you in the street for not liking your outfit and you either screaming back or just never wearing it again (deleting your post).
Worst part is this is all motivated by recognition, by the need of validation either by the public or some random user, that whatever you have said is accurate and they support you.
So that’s the moment I got lost; aren’t we supposed to do things just because we feel the passion to do so? Or because we feel complete when we do them, without the need to look for validation or acceptance outside; we should do things because they make us happy and they are for ourselves something to strive for.
This is when I decided I didn’t want to be found anymore, I understood my work as an entrepreneur and as a human being was not mine, it came from somewhere else — call it inspiration, God, whatever doesn’t offend you — and therefore if something is not yours you have no other choice but to let go.