A Buddhist Practice for Labor Day
“After all, human beings are the same — made of human flesh, bones, and blood. We all want happiness and want to avoid suffering. Further, we all have an equal right to be happy. In other words, it is important to realize our sameness as human beings.” — The Dalai Lama, A Policy of Kindness.
I grew up in the 1960’s and 70’s in Macomb County, Michigan, home to several large auto factories organized by powerful unions like the UAW (United Auto Workers) and the MEA (Michigan Education Association.)
The unions brought together diverse groups of people with common goals who worked together to get the best outcome for everyone — living wages, health care, overtime, etc. They kept individuals focused on what they shared with each other rather than encouraging people to demonize or judge. Union style solidarity is what we need right now to pull us out of our downward spiral of polarization.
The UAW’s mission states that the “UAW has been a leader in the struggle to secure economic and social justice for all people.” The Service Employees International Union (SEIU) first president, William Quesse, son of German immigrants said in 1921, “We are composed of all creeds, colors, and nationalities, and do not allow anyone to use prejudice in the organization against each other.”
Increasing polarization makes it harder for us to find common ground with others because we believe we are right and they are wrong. We pass harsh judgment on anyone who doesn’t think like us: Republicans, Democrats, Trump supporters, Liberals, Anti-vaxxers, Vaccine-hesitant people, Vaccine-pushers, etc.
What if we choose to find common ground instead?
As a Buddhist practitioner, I truly believe that none of us can be free until all of us are free. Here’s a simple three-step practice combining mindfulness with the path laid out by union leaders that can help us find common ground with other people whose views we may strongly disagree with:
- Pause. The first step is to simply pause and turn off all media. This could be five minutes of sitting and breathing, a day offline, or a month-long media fast. The media is full of opinions and views and the more extreme the opinions and views, the more they are likely to hold your attention to their post, article, or news show. The most extreme YouTube videos get shared first for this very reason. (This podcast explains more.)
- Discern. Next, check your perceptions. Are you sure your beliefs about other people are true? This podcast about the stories we make up about others shocked and educated me. The author of a study of perceptions revealed just how wrong our views of the “other side” really are. We make assumptions about the extreme views of others which rarely, if ever, line up with reality. For example, when asked to guess what percentage of Republicans thought that racism still exists in America, Democrats guessed only 50%, but the real answer was closer to 80%.
Most people are much more like us than we imagine. The more we hold false assumptions of other groups, the more we feel separate and divided. As Felix Unger once said on The Odd Couple in 1973, “Never ASSUME, because when you ASSUME, you make an ASS of U and ME.” - Listen. If you decide to try to find common ground with someone who you don’t agree with, use the Nonviolent Communication strategy of Empathy before Education. Listen to the other person’s point of view before sharing your own. If you try to teach someone your views on the vaccine or why they should vote for your candidate before you listen to them, you’re less likely to have an impact. Try to understand why they hold the views they hold. Once they have been heard, ask if they would be willing to hear from you at this time, or schedule another time to share your feelings and beliefs.
“If we are truly motivated to create peace in the world, if we deeply want a peaceful solution, then we should abandon our habit of supporting one side over the other. Please practice deep listening with equanimity and without prejudice. We have the tendency to think that only we suffer, but when we sit and listen deeply to the other side, we may find out that they too suffer.” –Thich Nhat Hanh, Joyfully Together
This Labor Day, try following the example of the unions who put aside differences to get the best outcome for the whole. Practicing these three steps wholeheartedly, we will begin to heal our divisions and build the unity and power we need to reach our common goals for happiness, justice, equity, and well-being for all.