2 Women. 1 dog. 5 Weeks. 12 destinations. One summer. (Part 4)
Motueka — Wellington — Otaki — Tokaanu — Te Kuiti — Auckland — Kerikeri — Cape Reinga — Auckland — Tokaanu — Otaki — Wellington — Motueka
****If you want to read te story from the beginning start here.
Feelings as a doorway to physical body healing
I had resistance to head to Kerikeri. What do I ‘do’ up there? I do not know anyone. It felt right for no reason one day so we packed up and headed north. It only took a day in for me to know ‘why’ I needed to come to this place. One, for the Gaian Food Goddess Nadine Autet, and the magic in the kitchen that started unfolding between us, and two, for an accident (or shall I say the blessing) that happened the very second day.
Nadine and I were to pick plums nearby when my dog Kawa jumped over a fence and got stuck in the barbed wire with her back paws. As I write these words I still notice fear running through my nervous system. What happened next was a series of exciting events. Out of impulses I reached out to the dog and pulled her off the fence and checked her feet. Tick — dog was ok. A few seconds after, I recognised a deep cut on my pointy finger knuckle. I said to Nadine with full clarity ‘We need to head back to the house!’. Now — the way back was through a swampy bit and in the past I would have fainted along the way yet this was not an option — having a wound and getting stuck in the mud. We made it to the house and Nadine made a saline solution to clean the wound. Julia joined the party and started holding space for my feelings to express. I went through Anger first, then Fear, Sadness followed and then the Joy flowed through. That cycle repeated itself a few times for half an hour until I was fully in my body, with no pain, the bleeding had stopped and I started poking a needle into the wound to get a few dirty bits out. Consulting a nurse friend led to heading to the doctors for a stitch — though had I had the equipment and knowledge I would have stitched myself by that stage. At the doctors, Julia held space for my Fear as I was most afraid of the anesthetic needle. Because of this I took my time for each step the doctor was suggesting without rushing it. I was surprised how open they were to let me feel until I had a YES. Many times he wanted to go ahead before my body was ready. I kept my center and asked him to wait when necessary. The healing after was phenomenal and fast. I literally watched the cells grow back and now the scar is becoming more invisible by the day. This day once again confirmed that healing the physical body through the power of the feelings is not to be underestimated — in fact it is one of the most sovereign acts you can implement for yourself. If you are interested to learn more about how to heal physical symptoms with your feelings you can find more information through the Feelings Practitioners and watch videos here.
Possibility Team (Julia Neumann writing this section)
Nadine invited us to join their weekly Possibility Team and we said Yes. The first one took place on Boxing Day, with Elizabeth as the spaceholder, and Mary Ann also joining. The five of us explored speaking our Medicine in front of the group: “I am medicine for you because…” It is a scary thing to do, to speak these things out and not make it a mental concept. I was deeply touched by witnessing these women own their medicine, and also declaring mine. As I write these lines, I notice that I remember only a fraction of it. My guess is that these things need to be repeated often, to carve out the new pathways internally in which I know my own medicine inside out and don’t have to “forget”. We also had an anger activation and a grieving space during that Possibility Team. What high level fun to feel it all together.
Before we parted, Mary Ann said she was driving further North to their holiday home at Cooper’s Beach the next day. I wanted to go to Cape Reinga at some point during my stay, which is further up North past Cooper’s Beach. This impulse came from 1) wanting to honour my father’s ashes by placing them somewhere that seemed appropriate to his life, and 2) to see this place Cape Reinga, which I had heard was quite special.
I could literally see the Possibility open up right in front of me to get up there. So I asked Mary Ann: “Could I get a ride with you to Cooper’s Beach tomorrow?” She said Yes, and even said she would be keen to drive with me all the way up North to Cape Reinga the next day. Nadine was also interested to come for a trip. That was all that we planned that night. I went to bed glad and scared… because I did not know how it would all work out in one day.
Sailing (Annika Korsten writing)
An injured hand did not stop me from refusing a 2-day sailing trip in the Bay of Islands manifested by Elizabeth and her sailing boat ‘Costa Brava’. I noticed, as soon as I stepped onto the boat, that I needed to have my Fear online to keep my center ALL THE TIME. A boat is a giant feedback generator for when you are not present in the NOW. You might hurt yourself, you might drop something in the water which you can actually not afford to drop, your belongings might move from side to side, you might get seasick, you might drift into the wrong direction, miss your tack, and so forth.
The weather forecast was rain, yet Elizabeth assured us that we would have great conditions for sailing. As soon as the first tack happened it was clear to me that I wanted to participate in the excitement of it and my Fear also said — ‘not this time — this is way too dangerous for your injury to be so close to quickly moving ropes’. This time — Julia learned to tack and I got to keep practicing feeling my Fear, being with the Ocean, and putting the fishing line out.
While sailing through the Islands suddenly I saw a blue light appear around Julia, who was holding the rudder to stear; Elizabeth and I were leaning against the lifeline opposite her (we were soon to discover the significance of the word ‘lifeline’). I have never in my life seen any light around anybody. I mentioned it to the Women and Elizabeth said ‘I am seeing it too’. An exploration as to what the blue light might be there for started. However within minutes something snapped. The lifeline. Whilst both Elizabeth and I may well have fallen backwards into the ocean, our intuition made both of us lean forward in less than a second. I looked up and was baffled as to how we both saved ourselves from falling overboard. Elizabeth was clear — the blue light was an angel. A fourth passenger had arrived on ‘Costa Brava’.
After the moment of shock, awe and lifeline repairs we needed to make the decision where to next. This time Julia consulted her angel and it led us to anchor in a sheltered bay. More healing unfolded as well as a scrumtious mutton stew was consumed.
The journey — which was too short — left me with a wonder about the Ocean as a resource of adulthood initiation into your presence, your Conscious Fear, and the vast territory of living in the Unknown.
Dog encounters with strangers
One day Kawa and I walked into a carpark in Kerikeri. Kawa actually decided to go that way and I am not suprised. A woman comes towards us, looking fearful, saying ‘Does your dog bite? Can you please keep her away?’. I give her a completion loop. She says that she got attacked by a dog in the past and that she does not feel comfortable around other dogs — even though she has her own dog at home. My possibility hat comes out and I ask ‘Do you want to experience something different today?’. She hesitantly agreed. Kawa runs close to her and she asks ‘Will she not bite me?’. I assure her she won’t AND I call Kawa back to me first. Then I ask her to come close to me and stand right next to me. My energetic body gives me the information that she will be able to ground with me being close. She does. I ask her to hold her hand out and call Kawa. Kawa runs over and licks her hand. She laughs. I thank her for trying something new today.
The pig up the road
I wanted meat. I declared to have an animal. I reached out to our friend Elizabeth and 24 hours later she writes ‘My nephew just got a pig and the butcher who was going to turn it into salami broke his back — you can have it. It is heavy.’ So I drive up the coast to pick up a pig. It is frozen, it is skinned and gutted (this saves times), it weighs 80kgs, I hang it for the night and first thing at 7am I start butchering to beat the sun and the flies.
Nadine does not have much freezer space. I freak out. This is what I am used to when I have animals available. Nadine, the ‘DIY-seasoned-live without power and a fridge-sailor’ brings possibilities in an instant: let’s dry the meat in my solar dehydrator and boil whatever is left to preserve. So the 3-day preserving marathon begins.
I celebrate Nadine flexibility and total YES to go full into the experience of processing the animal, step by step checking if we are in overwhelm and pressure or still enjoying ourselves. We made it a pig-party and even 2 months later I am still chewing on the Biltong that successfully was dried (at times within 4 hours of sunlight) in the solar dehydrator in the far North.
Soon — the question ‘What’s next?’ will be in the space again. How will I and Julia decide where to next this time?
If you have missed any of the previous parts you can find them here:
