The Toilet Treaty

I am baffled by bathroom use becoming “an issue.” State after state has passed these ridiculous laws, including my own home state of Arizona. I guess some must think it’s an “easy” one, I mean, better that than actually having to deal with a real issue that might have a complicated and unpopular solution, eh?

The whole thing seems to be a woman’s issue and to be about protecting women and children, but it’s not. Women are, let’s face it, more picky about the restroom situation. This is simply due to the fact that we ALWAYS sit down. So, we expect a certain amount of cleanliness to accomplish our goals in there. Quite frankly, if the place is relatively clean and there’s toilet paper, I’M GOOD! If you want to protect us, then make sure they are cleaned regularly and are sanitary places. THAT is the important health protection. Furthermore, women have known for a long time that there are some serious bathroom issues, but no one EVER talks about them. So, I will.

I always wonder about the design of bathrooms, particularly as I wait in a long line outside a women’s restroom. Clearly they are designed by men who don’t think or care about (or are playing a bad joke on?) women. Why don’t we ever talk about that? Where’s the discussion and appropriate training needed for architects in the toilet department?

Is there a woman out there who hasn’t used the men’s restroom? If you haven’t then you must never have been in a stadium, bar, restaurant, airport, or any other place and been faced with a long line for the ladies’ room. You know what I’m talking about: there are places that have a single room facility with a lock on the door. Two doors: one marked men and one women (why?). There are three women waiting outside the one door and the other is open. Well, I’m sorry but I don’t see much reason for the segregation at that point. Especially if my bladder is uncomfortably full. C’mon, NO ONE wants to see anyone pee on themselves no matter how hard hearted they may be.

See, most of us don’t give a bloody hoot who is in the bathroom with us. AND, most of us don’t have the time or need to be asking for birth certificate clarification of others using the restroom. And, for that matter, who the heck is carrying around their birth certificate anyway? That’s cuz we all know where we need to go and what we need to do in there. The point is to be comfortable enough to relax and get it done. Pretty simple, folks. Let’s stop pretending we are “protecting” anyone and face up to the fact that this is a form of discrimination, pure and simple.

I mean, seriously: are there people out there worried about who is in the stall next to them and what organ their pee is coming out from? (Biological fact: the other business comes out the same place on all models). Are there people who won’t use public bathrooms because they don’t want to, what, “hear” the pee coming out of a different organ? Is this what our country has become: a country of bigots and self-aggrandizing ear snobs?

Well, not me. I wish all my sisters to know you are more than welcome in the bathroom to pee, touch up your makeup, fix your stockings (shame on us!), or whatever necessary (private) adjustment may be needed. And, despite the LOUDNESS of the other ones, I think I speak for MOST of us!

Let toilet freedom ring loudly for all across our nation!