Big Hair, Big Dreams

Have you ever had that slightly irrational but extremely scary thought that a bee would get stuck in your hair at any given moment?

Welcome to the world of Big Hair, Big Dreams.

On the 12th of June in the year 1993, mankind was blessed with curly hair that came with a baby. This day was later anointed as the World Day Against Child Labour by the UN based on the hardships this kid had to endure. I realize that was a bit far fetched. On the contrary, I was born into a very happy family. So happy that they were named Joys. There was a Papa Joy, a Mumma Joy and 2 baby joys. All was well with this joyful clan till the day my parents realized that no amount of combing out my hair would make it straight. It was a sad day where many Mallu relatives came to give their sympathies and console the parents. It was in this setting that one of the aunties gathered there, came up with a simple solution to the problem. “Shave the kid’s head and watch the straight hair magically appear”

My older sister was delighted the next day to find an egg instead of her baby sister’s head. She immediately resorted to calling me “motte” which means egg in malayalam. She doted on me like I was the world’s most precious jewel given to her for care-taking.

But even after umpteen attempts at shaving my head, it was alas a curly haired girl who bounced off to school day after day. It was there that she dreamed the dream of becoming a teacher. Think about it! They hold so much power in their hands. “Stand Up”, “Sit Down”, “Stay Quiet”, “Answer Me”. Perks of the job, they got to play with kids all the time. Being a kid myself, at the time, I thought we were the most fun lot.

Let’s fast forward a few years. Everyone I knew had lost hope in my hair. “She was destined to be this way” they said, “nothing more we can do”. With the freedom to do as I wish, I immediately resorted to spiking my hair. I was the chic with hair like a boy in an all girls school, I was a player :) Playing someone I’m not, probably pushed me toward “Theatre! Theatre!”. I participated in all the school plays and musicals. I just supplied to the demand for short haired girls to play a boy’s role in an all girls school. I loved the thrill of being on stage and performing. I dreamed of doing this my whole life!

It was a good dream until i met algorithms, It amazed me how there was always a simple solution to every problem if only we would throw in some conditions and loop it around a few times. I grew my hair long. The curls hanging low would suit my new dream of becoming a software developer, i thought. Lady like, professional, something to play with when that cute boy looks over.

In an Indian household, there is no dream easier to pursue than that of becoming an engineer. The stars aligned without any effort from my end.

So here I am, living the dream, as a developer in SAP Labs. I’m also part of a tiny theatre club from college, some choirs and bands. When i take a breather, I babysit my nieces and nephews. Not so much of “Stand Up”, “Sit Down” but more of “Sit back, let me tell you a story”.

Contrary to common belief, you don’t need a singular focused dream to make you a happy, successful person. I believe it is an amalgamation of all the things fascinate you and make you happy. This amalgamation changes it’s shape and colour with the heat of time. You may lose some dreams in the process. Something that once drew your attention and made you believe would bring you most success and happiness may now look dull to you. Relax, this doesn’t make you a lazy, good-for-nothing, wayward person. Just hold on, because very soon you’ll find yourself getting sucked into the exhilaration of a new dream or maybe something as mundane as going home early to your family, suddenly has so much potential to be your new dream.

As for my hair, I’m going to keep it big and curly so that it can hold the fragrant scent of sand, salt and sweat when I’m at the beach. Big and curly to wrap myself with and keep me warm, when I’m pushing myself to get to the base camp of a mountain range. Big and curly to tie up in a messy bun as I try to sketch one of the wonders of the world into a tiny book. You guessed it, my new dream is to travel the world.

Big and curly to hold all these dreams and still have space for some more. Until a bee gets stuck in there. Then I’m chopping it off.