4 ways in which I managed my anxiety while doing my Ph.D.
Do you feel like you have a fast-paced mind with a million thoughts? Do you feel like you have to keep working all the time or else you are a failure?
These are some of the few thoughts I had when I did my Ph.D.
My anxiety was so bad that even if someone asked me for help I would avoid them not because I was selfish but because I kept thinking “If I help them I will not be able to complete my work on time”.
I would distance myself from my friends because I felt having a good time with my friends would mean I won’t have time to do my work which ultimately would make me more anxious.
I thought if I sacrifice my time today to do more work I would have plenty of time tomorrow to have fun. But that time never came.
In fact, it was towards the end of my Ph.d. that I realised I had productivity anxiety. In simple terms, productivity anxiety means that no matter what you do or how hard you work, it is never enough.
I read an article about it and I still remember I wanted to cry and hug myself.
I became more kind to myself and became my biggest cheerleader especially on the days I struggled to get out of bed.
4 ways in which I managed my anxiety.
These are the 4 ways in which I managed my anxiety.
- Understood the root cause of my anxiety
I was anxious because I kept thinking about the future.
What will happen if I don’t finish my tasks on time?
I have got so much more to do. How will I get it done?
I kept overthinking and this made things worse.
But whenever I had such anxious thoughts I’d tell myself that I would somehow figure it out.
And I trusted myself. I didn’t think about the future which was not in my control instead I focused on my present actions.
The process is more important than the result, the result is just a by-product of the process.- M.S.Dhoni
2. Made to -do lists and scheduled my work
Every night before I slept I wrote the tasks I had to do the next morning.
I knew that by doing this I wouldn’t feel anxious the next morning. Sometimes I use ClickUp software for scheduling and sometimes the good old pen and book gets the job done.
3. Interrupted my mind when I had anxious thoughts
This is something I learnt after watching Mel Robbin’s youtube video. Sometimes our mind needs confirmation that we are okay .
It’s also important that we don’t wait for another person to make us feel better. That’s when we have to tell ourselves:
I am okay,
I am safe,
I am loved.
4. Meditation
Every day I meditated for at least 5 minutes.
Honestly, I didn't know what good it did in the beginning.
But after two weeks, I found I became more mindful of my words and actions. I started analyzing my thoughts.
Earlier I used to feel angry whenever I made a mistake. but now I’ve become more kind to myself.
I've learnt to appreciate myself even on my bad days.
I visualise an image and pay attention to my breath as I inhale and exhale. I do “ Om” chants repeatedly until I can calm my mind.
These are the 4 ways in which I managed my anxiety.
Still, there are days when I get anxious, but now I am more aware of it. I have learnt to be patient with myself.
I have accepted the fact that I am a work-in-progress and even if there is no one to appreciate me I'll be there for myself.
