I just kept wondering, ‘what if you loved him?’ What then? What if he was the ‘snake charmer’, the one? What if he hadn’t committed the faux pas, let his true colors shine or his guard down?
Wouldn’t your beautiful mind have given you ample evidence to devalue the minuses? To account for them otherwise? I may be prying, no I am prying lol, but I do wonder about what we allow ourselves to see and what is inconvenient for consciousness. I don’t trust our minds. It’s always trying to do us favors; even at the cost of truth, at least part of it.
Ever hear the joke about the man who looks for his keys under the lamp post when he lost them in the darkened section of the bridge because it was lit? I think that’s all of us.
I’m in a place right now where I recognize with increasing disappointment and humility that our strengths like you are articulated are not at all, I’m this much shy of calling them genetic. I have a friend, reasonable and thoughtful who will vote for Donald Trump. He’s not bigoted; he has a sharp mind. Very sharp in fact. I’ve told him what I think of it all. It matters little to him.
Now maybe I’m just maladjusted but there are people who say democrat-check, church-going-check, 6ft+-check. I’m not one of those people. In fact knowing why exactly I’ve fallen in love with someone is enough to send me packing right away. “The point is to arrive at immediacy without reflection” — I like surprises, they give my brain orgasms.
My first impulse was applause and then I dug deeper and started wondering — recipe for disaster I know. So this is me thinking out loud what most people run through the filters of social decorum and sensitivity.
Thank you for writing it. I learned.