Love/pairing is also an engineering solution. Living alone has shown me how strategically inefficient it is to live by oneself. Emotionally and materially, it’s untenable.
I think it’s why the desert fathers formed communes and started the first monasteries. If you are not married by 25, back then, you had better find a community to support and be supportive of.
Is it possible that evolutionarily love followed the necessity for existential efficiency? I agree with you, the sardines that are next to each other are not best suited for each other or even well prepared for pairing. They were crammed in with each other until they reshaped purely by physical laws to adapt to the others.
Love and pairing are accidents of existence, not an end or result.
It’s a shame this modern fallacy of freedom to do what one wills! That’s never been as great a need as survival and human touch.
The same fallacy exists about writing, that somehow writing sets people free, makes it easier to deal with shit. The causality is reversed here also, you survive something and if you are lucky and literate you set it to words. Nobody ever sang themselves out of the Sahara or Alcatraz!
Reality is a terrible audience.
Thank you, I like your writing a lot.