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Whats scary is this is normal life for families with sick people.

My mother survived breast cancer 2 years ago. This world where business professionals — not nurses and doctors mind you, optimize medicine/cure to maximize profit is another kind of low. I mean that bill for $100,000 was sent by a human being to another human being! What is it like to seal an envelop that requires another person to write a check for $100,000 because their wife got sick?

You’d think that at least one of such people would say ‘wait a minute, this is fucked!’. I’d like to see it, the depression rate among people engaged in healthcare billing.

It’s like the famed remote torture experiment. Some one in a lab coat says crank the lever and OK’s the real torture of another human being and we comply. I don’t understand any of it. I go sit by the water and in the woods to get away from it all. Man is also something hideous and monstrous.

The problem I think is that they are invisible, these people. No one knows them, I can’t point to a guy in a suite on the street and say “There’s the guy who recently decided to change what qualifies as a preexisting condition for profit.”

Everybody is a part of a part of a part that no one seems to understand or anticipate now. Legend has it the dinosaur is as big as an organism can get without information taking too long to get from one end to the other jeopardizing survival. I think healthcare management has hit the same limit. The difference is computers and machines have no physiological limits.

I think the world grew on us, got too big. The scale has tripped the limits of our evolutionary capacities but we are too proud to admit it. Without computers none of these computations would be possible — who among 300 million people gets paid how much from whom under what guidelines. We have innovated ourselves into the Matrix, where human life is discounted because it’s another column on the spreadsheet.

I feel sorry for all of us, the doctors and nurses, who know and understand the system but are powerless to change it and the patients and families, like yours and mine who now have to contend with a system that only 3 quants from Wharton understand in their entirety.

It’s so sad, after my Mom’s experience I do everything EVERYTHING in my power to reduce my probability of requiring medical care in America. The whole thing has to be redone and nobody has the courage, time and patience for it. Money and its pursuit has made monsters of us all.

Kyrie eleison.