Lost

So I’ve been told to write.

Funny because I don’t know where to even go from here or start.

My grammar is going to suck, but you should be able to feel or even understand the pain im going through.

I have searched within to try to fix myself and I cannot.

I have been trying to deal with the pain in the healthiest option but its only led me to NOT EATING and to trying really hard to not think about “you know” myself.

But my brain goes there … a lot because I’ve battled with this before, battled with my own dark thoughts and it took me him to get me out of it last year.

Sadly, he is now the reason I’m trying really hard not to let my mind go to that.

“It’s over Harper”

did I just hear that? Did you just say that?

“I don’t love you anymore, I don’t want to be with you anymore, I don’t see a future with us, I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to hang out with you, I don’t want to text you, I don’t want to call you, you’re not my type, I don’t see us having kids, I don’t see me getting married to you, I’m not in love with you anymore, I don’t feel anything when I’m with you, I don’t feel the spark , I don’t feel anything when we’re having sex.”

Those words will burn in my heart, my mind, my soul forever.

Now I should explain a little bit of our back story before I just talk about the break up. You know what no I won’t because that is going to make me want him back. So I will give you the bear minimum!!!