You Can Do This.
One of the hardest things to do is love yourself.
Life is going to try to fuck you over.
And over and over and over. And the result of that is depression. Sadness. It will stop you from doing what you love. It will try to shut you down 1000 times over until it wins.
I have been there.
I forgot what love was last March, and I forgot to love my partner when he needed it the most. I know it’s because I didn’t love myself.
I really forgot about me and I forgot how important I was.
Here’s what I learned.
When you finally reinvest the energy you are giving away to others into YOURSELF — whether that’s the gym, a health kick, or just realizing that you LOVE YOURSELF (and everything about you and your soul) — that is the moment that everything changes.
Your soul begins to regrow.
It will flower and bloom into something new.
I realize that a great deal has likely been dumped on you this year. I’d like to extend my heart to you and say that I’m so sorry the universe did that to you, and apologize on its behalf.
That said, you don’t deserve to give up on who YOU are and I never want you to forget that. There is a breaking point where you will just have to say “You know what life? FUCK YOU! It’s time for ME V2.0 or 3.0 or 15-point-fucking-OH.
Whatever. Who Cares?
Shedding a skin is the best feeling ever. Reinvention is something I love because I love discovering sides of me I didn’t know I had. Empowering yourself is the best feeling ever — and it’s better than any upper, downer, drug or drink you could ever hope to have.
I realized that I was loving everyone else out there — but I had forgot to love ME. That made me sad. And there’s the irony. A sad ME couldn’t actually GIVE love to everyone else.
You have to love yourself FIRST, then it will overflow into EVERYTHING else.
I didn’t eat properly. I didn’t think I was good enough. I lacked confidence.
I really hated life in general. And,I drank too much (and still do).
Then I realized that sometimes you just have to scream “FUCK YOU LIFE. If this is a test, I am going to pass it with flying fucking colours. I’m going to change it all up and create a new version of my life. A life where people actually stop and ask “Is that you? You are glowing.”
And you can just say, finally, “I know. I love me. I’m amazing. I deserve everything good and I’m not going to wait for others to (try and) make me happy any more. From now on I’m putting myself first and I will be my own best friend. I will empower myself to be my best, and I will LOVE each and every step.”
I’m sending you this from my personal experience.
I went through this and you REALLY have to draw the line somewhere and unplug the computer that is your brain. It’s time to reboot. Evolve again into a bigger version of yourself. I’m not saying that the one now isn’t good, or worthy, or absolutely PERFECT.
What I am saying is that with a new attitude, a new outlook and a new approach — you may admit that your current operating system is broken or corrupt. And you know what?
It’s not your fault.
It’s not your fault.
Stress and pressure in life can create the most amazing things if you can accept that change is a positive thing.
EMPOWER yourself and say “It is what it is. There’s a big world out there and I want my soul to feel alive. I DESERVE to experience everything.” Whatever is meant to happen, will. I will either reunite with the lover that is holding my heart, or I’ll one day realize exactly why I didn’t. It could be the same for a job. A fantasy. A job. A trip. A pair of shoes. What-fucking-ever. But I want you to know that it will be the MOST exciting thing ever.
Because you will be making those choices while LOVING yourself at the end of the day. Do not let the demons on your back win right now.
They are going to whisper in your ear a thousand times.
They will plant ideas in your head. They will try to steal your energy so they can thrive and you can fail.
Shake them off right now.
Go tell them to get off your back, to fuck off, then create the life you want. Go do stuff you would never do.
You can’t go wrong with this formula:
Step 1: Tell everything you dislike to screw off.
Step 2: Do what makes you happy.
Step 3: Be happy.
Step 4: Repeat.
Go make the world totally JEALOUS of how much you love your life.
I promise you that everything will fall into place the way it was meant to be. You just have to accept that it may or may not be different from what you have now.
I’ll end this by sending you some BIG LOVE from someone who knows EXACTLY what you are going through. I have been there. And I am here NOW.
It gets better.
Do not let the demons win. And the demons are those dark thoughts, the sad thoughts. The thoughts that make you feel ugly inside, outside and every side.
They only want your energy, and they will tell you anything and everything you do NOT need to hear in order to THRIVE.
So, please, push them off. Take a deep breath. Wake up tomorrow and do everything different and exactly how YOU want — not how you think someone (or something) outside of you wants you to do it. Not because I told you to, but because YOU want to start dating yourself again.
Take yourself for coffee. Go shopping. Watch a movie with a glass of wine.
Sadness will try to take your soul.
Create a bigger, stronger version of you and fall in love with yourself. Again and again, and as many times as you need to or want to.
I did, and I love me again.
You can do this.